How to understand where you are at work and where you are on vacation? Here we will talk about live-in governesses or freelancers. When the workplace and place of work coincide. There is a problem: working time spreads over free time and then a person constantly works, tired all the time. Or vice versa, a person cannot collect himself in any way. And he beats the bulldozer all the time. It is also possible that a person tries to behave like family members at work with colleagues or with wards and boss. To harbor a grudge, to explode with anger, or to endure until psychosomatic manifestations occur or to the point of “I’ll give up everything now.” Even before breaking up with the employer. When it is necessary to name the reason for dismissal, it is “I was tired” or “I couldn’t live like this anymore” or something else more incomprehensible. If we consider the problem from the point of view of transactional analysis, then there are three components: the inner child, the adult and the parent. It turns out that when the roles of employee and non-employee are mixed, a person turns from an adult (only adults go to work) into a parent or into a child to his colleagues, boss, or his wards. For example, a young governess can become like a daughter to her employer and like an older sister to her ward. Then the functioning mechanisms from her parental family are unconsciously launched and the girl will produce the problems that she had with her sister or with her parents. Also, an elderly nanny can begin to play the role of a grandmother for her ward and a mother for her employer. She will want to teach the “young mother” how to live and she will lament how unlucky she is (without a husband, works too much or behaves incorrectly with her husband). A freelancer can start playing friends with his boss, chatting outside of work hours, and drinking beer with him. It will be difficult for a boss to manage such an employee. Yes, and you yourself will develop resentment and envy. Why is all this bad? Because the position of an adult presupposes responsibility, awareness of one’s own boundaries and the boundaries of others, the ability to cope with one’s irritation and be aware of one’s priorities. An adult can say that he goes to work for money, career growth and communication. And the parent and child at work are trying to satisfy their child/parental needs. What to do: Come up with a dress code for yourself, for example, a tight skirt and low heels and dress in it. This will physically remind you that you are at work. Sneaking around and doing your hair before “going” to work. This will help you get into a working mood. Change clothes when work is finished. Set an alarm for the end of the working day. Monitor your boundaries: I’m at work now, how should I react to this situation not as Katya, but as employee Ekaterina Vladimirovna? Take breaks for lunch, and don’t hamster yourself glued to the monitor. Answer personal calls by going to another room and for no more than 10 minutes. Express your dissatisfaction within the framework of “I’m uncomfortable with this - I suggest it.” And not: “I give you so much, but you give me nothing.” Count your working time, use it to the maximum, but also maintain emotional hygiene: don’t overwork, don’t push yourself. Constantly remind yourself “I’m at work. I don’t have to endure this. I’m at work. I shouldn’t be a lifesaver. I’m at work. I’m not superman. I’m at work. I’m not a sweetheart guy.” http://ekaterina -pushkareva.com