From the author: How do we lose our strength and what can help us? To understand why we inevitably lose our strength and vitality in a metropolis, we must first formulate our ideas about energy. Life energy is a certain balance, a dynamic equilibrium of the interaction of the elements around us. In order for energy to flow in a certain direction, there must be a disproportion, a difference in poles, an imbalance, the presence of a plus and a minus. The stronger this difference of poles, the more powerful the energy, the more work can be done. Energy is in constant change: it flows, accumulates, and is consumed. The second definition is the definition of a megacity as a large social structure with a mega-concentration of people. These people in places of concentration are not united by common goals and meanings; they, as a rule, end up in one place by chance. But they simultaneously find themselves not so much in physical space as in social space, where physical laws are secondary in relation to the laws of the social organism, to socio-psychological laws. The key problem of life in a metropolis is energy leaks. We don’t notice how we are losing strength: everything seems to be fine with us, we slept and ate normally, but we have no strength to function normally. There is a feeling of weakness and demotivation. The fact is that in a megalopolis we unnoticed are losing strength. This does not happen the same way as when doing physical work or playing sports, when muscle fatigue is directly proportional to the effort expended. A typical example is how hours-long traffic jams drain our strength. At first glance, there is no reason to worry: you are sitting in warm, comfortable conditions, listening to pleasant music, moving smoothly in the stream of thousands of cars. You don’t make any special physical effort. What's so complicated about this? But for some reason, after such daily exercises, you feel that your energy has gone somewhere. It's like you've done some serious physical work. Let's figure out what's going on? Being in the social space of a metropolis, we obey the laws of its functioning. One of these laws is social comparison. That is, we constantly compare ourselves with others, while in a traffic jam, on the subway, on the street, even while looking at TV. And we do it automatically, almost without realizing this process. We compare ourselves with others simultaneously according to a number of parameters: By property status By social status By age By attractiveness By energy By self-confidence By psychotype By similarity to our friends By passivity/aggressiveness By behavioral characteristics And, of course, by a whole range of other parameters. This work is carried out continuously and fills all the free space of our brain. Even if we are reading a book (in the subway) or listening to music, the brain continues its evaluative activity unnoticed by us. This is where hidden leaks of our energy occur. This is a task that requires strength also because our brain must draw conclusions about the social characteristics of the situation: who is cooler, who is more successful, younger, more beautiful, etc. This is the second part of the work of our evaluating brain - after social comparison based on external data, social categorization is carried out, i.e. Labeling and shelving. Why are we doing this? We feel calmer this way; the brain has the illusion of control over the situation. We draw conclusions about our place in the social hierarchy, about how effective we are in this society. As you can guess, most of the conclusions are not in favor of the one who is engaged in social comparison. Because a self-confident person will not waste his energy on this. And as a result of such psychological categorization, the traditional conclusion occurs that “the poor are getting poorer, and the rich are getting richer.” In this case, we are talking about the fact that a person spends energy and does not acquire it. The thing is that this brain work is very energy-consuming, because iteach time a non-standard task that cannot be performed automatically, i.e. low-level mode. In principle, there is nothing special about the work of social comparison and categorization. This is normal brain function in order to feel connected to reality and know what to expect from a situation. The problem is that in a metropolis there are too many objects for comparison and our brain gets overloaded and tired of it. Compare: one hour in a traffic jam in the city center with horns and nervous drivers or two hours on a good free highway - which is easier? Or 45 minutes on the subway during rush hour and an hour and a half walk through a beautiful forest? So what to do? My recommendations: Regular self-energy audit Instead of social comparison, regularly track your energy balance. Watch your feelings to see if you have any inexplicable energy leaks. Are your batteries draining too quickly? I talk about how this is done in this article. Balance your vital forces Based on the results of your own energy audit, balance your vital forces. Establish a dynamic balance between: Your external (social) and internal (psychological) processes. Work and leisure. Earning money and spending it. Communication and self-deepening. Focus on the past and planning the future. Feminine and male energies. Daily routine and solar cycle. Exactly these balances ensure reliable health and longevity, even in living conditions in a metropolis, although here all imbalances intensify. Switch The search for balance leads us to the need to regularly switch between our activities, between different modes of our functioning. Each activity needs to find its own time. As Ecclesiastes said: “For everything there is a season, and a time for every purpose under heaven.” It’s not easy to switch because you want certainty, unambiguousness, and consistency. But switchability is one of the secrets of personal Strength, because you, being able to switch in time, do a lot of things almost simultaneously, because each individual task takes exactly as much time as is allotted for it. Turn off the external locus of control Constantly scanning the “external perimeter” occurs because you are afraid of missing important social signals that may come from outside. The fact of the matter is that people with an external locus of control need external incentives, i.e. those who are not confident enough to control themselves completely on their own. Sooner or later you will need to get out from under external manipulative control and constant energy leaks are an important signal that such work on “untying” needs to begin. Otherwise, you risk remaining a cog in the system for the rest of your life that doesn’t solve anything. Use special practices I recommend using the following helping practices: if you are riding the subway, then focus on where you are going, not your surroundings. Learn in any situation, where possible, not to look around, but, with your eyes closed, to prepare for the event, the situation that awaits you at your destination. This is called mental preparation and it consists of the following: imagine in detail the work that needs to be done. For example, you are going to negotiations or an exam and imagine how they will go, what you should prepare for, what you will answer this or that tricky question. Mentally send a clot of energy to the place and people you will meet. In this way, you will prepare not only yourself, but also the situation for a successful development of events. When your event takes place, you will see that everything went much better than you would have expected without such preparation. If you are traveling after an event, then the time in transport is ideal for the so-called “recapitulation” of the situation. You remember a past meeting or event and analyze what in your activity could have been done differently - more optimally, more".