How to understand another? Communication with other people is the environment in which we live. How can we ensure that we have harmonious relationships with people? How to avoid various conflicts that accompany our lives? Theme of human relations. What could be more confusing? Personal relationships, business relationships, casual relationships, long-term relationships, relationships with parents, relationships with children, and so on. This sphere is simply endless. Is it even possible to figure it out? Perhaps, and I offer you a little material for your reference. Of course, communication is far from a simple art. It requires special tact, patience and sensitivity, but, in any case, we must learn it. Otherwise, our relationships with other people will cause us a lot of trouble. We are all very different. Everyone expresses their thoughts and feelings in their own way. And everyone believes that it is his idea of ​​something that is the most correct. And when we communicate, we try to instill in our interlocutor our point of view. What if the difference in views is very great? Here is a reason for conflict. Each person has his own perception of the world and information. And what is completely acceptable for you may offend someone else. For example, in our country, showing someone a fig is an offensive symbol. And in the countries of New Guinea, show the fig in the back of the departing person - wish him happiness! Communication occurs in different ways: verbally and nonverbally. Many people have probably watched the film “The Theory of Lies.” It shows the non-verbal side of communication very well. Our eyes, facial expressions, and gestures speak very well for us. Body language says a lot about you. After all, our body reflects our thoughts. You can say whatever you want, but your body will give you away. Try to tilt your head, lean forward a little - down, wrap your arms around yourself (as if to squeeze) and laugh, tell yourself: “I’m happy!” How does it feel? Believe in your own happiness in this situation? Or stand up straight, raise your arms up, spread them wide above your head, raise your head and say: “I am the most unhappy person in the world.” Does what you said coincide with your bodily sensations? Look at yourself from the outside. As you stand, walk. If you are slouching, think: what kind of load have you put on your shoulders, what exactly are you carrying and can this load be removed, is it really necessary for you? Everyone who studies the so-called body language is faced with an interesting phenomenon: every person speaks it (the vast majority unconsciously), but rarely can anyone consciously “understand” it (that is, interpret it). Now there are authors whose works present materials about body language in the form of a “dictionary”. According to them, if, for example, you want to know what a hand stuck in a pocket “means,” then it is enough to “see” the nuances - how the hand is thrust into the pocket (with the palm or fist turned out), where the thumb is located (inside or outside the edge of the pocket), and with the help of a dictionary you will learn about what feelings a person experiences. Such approaches are false and do not serve to understand body language. Firstly, because, for example, the fashion for patch pockets in tight trousers is not taken into account - a fist simply does not fit in them, and there may not be room for a thumb! Secondly, there is a real danger that the owner of such a “dictionary” may imagine himself to “see through everyone.” When communicating with others, remember that there are areas for communication: public - m (for example, auditorium, auditorium), business - m, personal - m, intimate -. The limits are approximate. Everyone has their own distances. So, by violating these boundaries, we can negatively affect the course of communication. Rules of communication The first rule is to strive to understand the motives and desires of the other person. They are the foundation of relationships. Everything else is built on them. Second, remember the communication zones. Keep your distance. Third - we are different, show patience and respect for your interlocutor.. Knowledge of people in theory and inpractice One capable young man, thirsty for knowledge and wisdom, experiencing many hardships, studied physiognomy, the science of facial expression, far from his homeland, in Egypt. This teaching lasted for six years. And then the day came when he passed all the exams perfectly. Joyful and proud, the young man on horseback returned to his homeland. He already looked at everyone he met through the eyes of a person who had learned the wisdom of science, and in order to expand and deepen his knowledge, he read from the expressions of their faces as if from a book. And then he met a man on whose face he read six character traits: it was clear that he was envious, jealous, greedy, stingy, selfish and merciless. “God knows what a terrible expression this man has on his face, I have never seen or heard anything like it. That's when I could test my theory." While he was thinking this way, the stranger approached him with a friendly, good-natured expression on his face and humbly said: “Oh, sir! It's late and the nearest village is far away. My hut is small and dark, but I will carry you in my arms. What an honor it would be for me if I dared to consider you as my guest for this night, and how happy your presence would make me!” Our traveler thought with amazement: “Amazing! What a contrast between this man’s speeches and the disgusting expression on his face.” This thought deeply disturbed the young man, and he began to doubt what he had learned during all six years of study. To regain his confidence, he accepted the stranger's invitation. The owner delighted the scientist with tea, coffee, juices, cookies and hookah. He showered his guest with pleasantries and attention. For three days and three nights the hospitable host managed to keep the traveler with him. Finally, the scientist wished to get rid of this incredible hospitality and made a firm decision - to leave. At the hour of parting, the owner handed him an envelope with the words: “Oh, sir! This is your account." "What is the score?" — the young man asked in surprise. Like a sword snatched from its scabbard, the owner’s true face was suddenly revealed. He furrowed his brow and shouted angrily: “What impudence! What were you imagining when you ate and drank here? Didn’t you think that all this was for nothing?” At these words, the scientist immediately came to his senses and silently opened the envelope. He saw that everything he ate and didn't eat was listed on the bill at a hundred times the price. He did not have even half the required amount with him. I had to get off the horse and give it to the owner, and in addition the saddle with all the luggage. But this was not enough; then he took off and gave away his traveling suit. He set off on foot. And for a long time one could still hear his enthusiastic words: “Thank God, thank God that six years of my teaching were not in vain!” (According to Abdu’l-Bahá) Intimate zone. In English, the intimate zone is also called “bubble”, which means “ bubble". It surrounds our body like a second skin. We feel safe inside our bubble. We keep people whom we do not allow to cross the border of this zone at a distance of about half an arm's length from the body so that they cannot “press” us too much. Under what condition do we let someone into our “bubble”? Trust is the condition under which we voluntarily let someone into our intimate zone. This formulation does not have retroactive effect: not everyone we trust We voluntarily let you into our intimate area. But we let anyone in only when we have confidence in him. The key word of the last rule is “voluntarily.” Personal zone. The personal zone begins where the intimate zone ends. In our personal zone, we voluntarily leave those with whom our relationships are not so close as to allow them to enter our intimate zone, these include close friends, family members, colleagues, with whom we are united by cordial relations, as well as all other acquaintances with whom we willingly communicate. The boss, the teacher, and the teacher can be allowed into the personal area if they are characterized by good.