Being in society, it is impossible to avoid periodic violation of personal boundaries. But timely response and designation of your boundaries allow you to create a comfortable psychological space for yourself and build healthy relationships. How to properly protect your territory? As a rule, they try to break boundaries in five main ways: Invasion of personal space. For example, a person may take your place, enter your room when you want to be alone, or take your things without asking. In extreme cases, this is expressed in unwanted touching or violent actions. Unsolicited assessment of you and your actions, condemnation and criticism, sarcasm, use of offensive words. Unsolicited advice (recommendations). Attempts to obtain from you information about your personal affairs or other people's secrets that you don’t want to provide. Insistent requests to do something (give, help). To protect boundaries, it is important to: Directly say what you want. Be sincere (lies indicate your boundaries are not within the limits in which they actually are) .Be consistent (they said it and did it). Establish emotional distance, that is, distance yourself from close communication with a person who violates your boundaries. Adopt phrases that can be used to gently defend your boundaries. If personal space is invaded. Sorry, now I would like to be alone. I am not very pleased when my things are taken without asking. I will be grateful if next time you ask my permission. Sorry, but this is my place, please move. When they touch me without my permission (they stand too close), I feel discomfort, I ask you not to do this. If they give assessment of you and your actions, they criticize and condemn, they make evil jokes. What you are saying now causes me discomfort (pain, causes protest). Your comments (jokes) are offensive to me, I would like to end the conversation on this topic. I’m sorry, but I don’t want to be treated like that (talked like that). If our relationship is important to you, respect my boundaries (my position, my words). Sorry, but I perceive this attitude towards me as rude. If you continue, I will not be able to keep you company today (communicate further). I cannot afford to continue communication if they do not respect me (do not value our relationship). Sorry, I have to leave (end the conversation). If they give unsolicited advice. Thank you, I heard your opinion, but I will make the decision myself. I understand that you are worried about me and want the best, but I am quite capable of taking care of myself. B there is a rational grain in what you say, I will think and make my decision. Yes, there are many options to do here, I will think and choose the best one for myself. Everyone has their own experience, I will make a decision based on my own. Sorry, this is not for me close (doesn't resonate with me). If they're trying to get personal information from you. Sorry, I don't want to talk about it. Sorry, I don't want to touch on this topic. It's too personal, let's change the topic. Such questions make me uncomfortable, let's talk about something else. Sorry, I'm not ready to share this information. Sorry, but now you unwittingly stepped on my personal territory, I’m not ready to discuss it. If they persistently ask you to do something: Sorry, but I have to refuse. Sorry, but I have other priorities now. Unfortunately, I won’t be able to do this. Sorry, I can’t help you with this. I’m sorry , but at the moment this is impossible. All these phrases sound quite correct and are suitable precisely for the civilized defense of one’s borders. They assume that we are communicating with a relatively healthy and adequate person who has crossed the line a little. If there is a gross violation of boundaries, then the degree of response can also be increased. As they say, you need to defend your boundaries in the language of the one who violates them. But it’s still better to start with a soft return of the communication partner to reality, and only if this doesn’t work, move on to harder ones..