One of the most harmful myths that contributes to loneliness, an unsettled personal life, and getting stuck in destructive relationships is the idea of ​​a soul mate. The essence of the idea is that there is only one person in the whole world who is suitable for life together. Obsessed with the thought of a “soul mate”, a person demonstrates the following behavior patterns: Breaking off relationships when problems arise in order to continue the search for the mythical “soul mate” .Projecting one’s own internal conflicts onto others. A tendency to blame fate instead of analyzing one’s negative behavior. Getting stuck in a destructive relationship with a partner who managed to “get into” the image of an ideal “half” projected onto him. To get rid of the negative influence of this myth, analysis is necessary own neurotic attitudes. Otherwise, being unconscious, they will again and again attract partners who confirm their reality. As a result, a situation arises of the usual “rake-walking.” The second myth is “to be the best.” Another popular myth is the idea of ​​​​being the most beautiful, sexy, feminine/brutal, etc. for your partner. The origins of this craving lie in the child's need to receive adoration and admiration from his parent. Particularly vulnerable in this regard are those whose narcissistic childhood desires were not satisfied by mom and dad. Such people are especially jealous of situations when their partner expresses admiration, gives a compliment, or simply looks at the other person. A healthy view of love presupposes an understanding that its causes are hidden not in external merits (beauty, intelligence), but in the internal unconscious motives of another person. From this myth also stems the desire to become necessary and irreplaceable for a partner, to satisfy all his spiritual and intellectual needs, always have common leisure time, common interests, breathe in unison and keep your hands on each other’s pulse. The roots of such a neurotic need lie in the symbiosis of mother and child, which cannot be repeated in your adult real life. Being carried away by other people's problems and interests leads to a loss of one's own identity, suffocating tension and mutual accusations. Therefore, it is important for two people to have their own separate interests, to make their own personal and not just mutual friends, to interact with like-minded people, to support their hobbies, and not to live solely in the interests of their partner. Not only common points of contact, but also differences bring dynamics, emotions and flavor to the union. Myth three - the need for unconditional approval Couples can experience significant difficulties in living together if they expect from each other truly parental acceptance and approval of all his actions. The illusion that the unconditional approval of a partner will replace the lack of self-acceptance at a deep level is shattered by reality. The little insatiable inner child cannot stand being annoyed with him, and expects his partner to become the kind mother or loving father he was. deprived in childhood. As a result, demands, sensitivity, and conflict increase, and a vicious circle of complaints develops. The flip side of this myth is the denial of one’s own irritation or dissatisfaction with a partner. The desire to approve of a partner and all his actions, to mold him into some ideal image leads to the denial of one’s negative feelings of anger or dissatisfaction. Such defenses help maintain relationships, but do not resolve internal conflict and tension, not to mention aggravating interpersonal problems.