Controlling wife.. What does this lead to. Control is the desire to make sure that everything in life meets the expectations of the controller, so that everything is exactly as the controller himself wants.. Control is a destroyer of relationships, since it only creates tension in either the controller or the partner. Control initially indicates an inability to trust or that the controller is invading the boundaries of another person. The origins of controlling behavior, as a rule, lie in the parental family, where the rights of the child were often violated. The family valued weakness, obedience, lack of initiative and took away the right to take risks. The feeling of powerlessness that emerged then led to the need to control others. The child was taught: what you want to do does not coincide with what you can do. If you do what you want, you'll get in trouble. The child has learned to avoid troubles, i.e. learned to do what others want. Hence the complete concentration of attention on the lives of others and the belief in the ability to control the lives of others. The source of the need to control others is based on the fact that we all need love, security and a sense of our own strength (significance). Control in life often arises as a result of feelings of inferiority and inferiority, the desire to be necessary and important... as a result of internal attitudes that you need to keep everything under your control, you need to have power over everything so as not to lose what you have... Control is always accompanied by feelings of fear and anxiety, anger and anger, resentment and disappointment, uncontrollability and hopelessness. Control has different forms of manifestation. From rude pressure to an insinuatingly tender attitude towards loved ones in order to impose her will, her vision of the problem, her coercive tactics. Under the guise of tenderness, selfless care, affection and kindness, she deprives other people of responsibility for their lives, paralyzes the will of others, does not allow them to manifest the individual characteristics of others, their abilities... The most terrible thing is the illusion of control. This is a deep belief that you just need to try hard and find a manipulation that will help you do all this unnoticed. Control manifests itself as addiction, as compulsive behavior, which often begins as madness and it manifests itself mainly in codependent relationships, where one of the members family is quite immature and, under the watchful gaze of a controlling family member, begins to lead a destructive life. Why does this happen? Since a controlling person, for example, takes full responsibility for everything and blames his source of anxiety for everything, despite the fact that she herself may have made him this way.. So what should you do? Perhaps you need to stop and realize what you are doing, realize that by controlling you you are losing all your resources, that your control is a concrete manifestation of self-dislike and selfishness.. It is possible to realize that you cannot control the life and consciousness of another person, that you are losing control over your life. What do you lose and what do you not gain? Give yourself the opportunity to honestly look at yourself and all the consequences of your behavior. That this is not only a destructive relationship, for example, between you and your husband, but perhaps there is a high probability that this has a destructive impact on other family members.. Perhaps you need to honestly look at your character defects, your traumatic nature and your fears, and start working on yourself, starting with the origins of this behavior, where this belief in you originated from and correct, change this belief. Perhaps you need to start practicing acceptance and the ability to let go, because only by letting go do we gain... Let's start and continue with self-love and go to work on ourselves and change yourself and not others. Remember! If one family member begins to change, others also begin the process of change. And if they don’t start and just live their own lives, then you need to think more about such relationships, understand whether you need them and perhaps start living your own life, without waiting