What does the therapist do in a session? Establishes contact. At the everyday level, he talks. If the therapist manages to establish contact, the client feels that he has received something important for himself. Sometimes he doesn’t quite realize what he received, he may not even be able to name it, but he feels it at the level of sensations. And further “cooking” can occur. For example, at the next session he may say that I understood what I want, I feel it. If there is no contact in the session, the client feels as if he went in vain and sometimes he evaluates it as “so I can talk to my neighbor in the kitchen " In this situation, it is valuable that the person made a choice from the category “it was useful - it was not useful.” The next meeting can be based on this assessment, turning to the body and feelings: what you think is not useful, and how you feel when something is not useful to you. Therefore, 3-5 sessions is the minimum from which it is advisable to start working with a psychologist; this is time to get to know each other, to establish trust. Not every conversation is contact. Thus, during a psychotherapeutic session, the therapist finds himself in the client’s environment, and his presence there, his interventions help to see the client’s habitual experience, his habitual ways of responding to external stimuli. In the Gestalt approach, these habitual reactions are a condition for the development of contact and the appearance of the client’s figure (his desires, needs, interests, experiences) precisely in the “here and now”, in the dialogue that is unfolding right now between the client and the therapist. Accurate recognition and voicing a real (and not false) need at the moment of dialogue gives the client a feeling of deep agreement and knowledge about himself. This feeling is initially very unstable, but it is so charged with stabilizing energy (regardless of the positive or negative context) that the desire and energy to repeat it appears. The learning process does not happen quickly, but this skill: to feel, highlight, identify and name a need (figure) is worth the time spent. At the first stage of such an experience, the help of a therapist cannot be overestimated, because you can truly begin to contact only with what forms the figure - actual human need. I’ll give a piece of the session: Cl. – I want her to always be like this... I want to be with her when she is attentive and loving, thrifty, affectionate. And when she is rude, leaves with her friends, sometimes returns late, joyful and satisfied, starts making loud and “vile” jokes, I hate her.T. – Why are you telling me this? Cl. – So that you understand how difficult it is for me, how unbearable it can be sometimes.T. “I can really hear how hard it is for you to see this and deal with it.” What would you like? Cl. – Explain, punish, do something equally painful for her. But she doesn’t understand anything, doesn’t want to change anything, and doesn’t want to talk about it.T. – Yes, she is an adult and has the right and reasons to do so. But what would you like? Cl. - Yes, you defend and justify her! T. - Not at all. I wonder what motivates you to scold and discipline her so vigorously. You're like her dad. And I feel as if you want to find in me an ally who would give you advice, some trick on how to make her talk, understand and change? Cl. - …….. yes, I want to.T. – What do you want to get when it changes? Cl. – Her love, attention and affection.T. – How do you feel if she loves you now? Cl. – I think so. T. – But you miss her love in the moments when she goes away and does what gives her pleasure. Cl. – Yes, she’s leaving me.T. – And what are you doing at this time? Cl. – I’m waiting for her, doing something for her, calling her, writing to her. I'm nervous.T. – What are you doing for yourself? Cl. – I’ve already done everything for myself.T. - What is all this? What do you like to do?Cl. - ..... I don’t know, different... nothing particularly exciting... T. – Should we wait and correct it? Kl. – But this is important for our relationship! Here a figure has emerged - the need for love, attention, affection, behind which stands.