From the author: A set of rules on how to behave so as not to become a victim of someone who is trying to use us for their own interests. Probably, many of us have had to deal with such situations when you are doing something , but at the same time there is a strong feeling that this is not worth doing. But you still force yourself because you are afraid that you will look at best stupid in front of others. This situation can happen in a store when you are forced to buy an unnecessary thing; This could be a situation at work, when you seem to have taken on the duties of someone else, you understand that you shouldn’t do this, but still some unknown inner force forces you to do it. If you remember that a similar phenomenon took place in your life, then it is most likely that you have met manipulators on your life’s path. We will call manipulators those people who often use hidden forms of psychological influence in their lives, forcing them to accept something. a decision beneficial to them against the will of the executor himself. Psychological science describes many types of manipulators who, in one way or another, try to change the behavior of another person. It should be noted right away that there is another part of people who are also capable of forcing another to perform this or that action, but their internal motive will be that they act in the interests of the other. These people are called catalysts. The main difference between a manipulator is that he always - or almost always - acts only in his own interests, often hiding behind noble motives. It is not so easy to calculate it. Without special training and knowledge about the psychology of manipulation, he almost always goes unnoticed. The first thing we should pay attention to is that the manipulator always strives to achieve his own goals by using other people. For him, the people around him are nothing more than a means of achieving certain benefits. This alone largely determines his inner world, the fact that he is not sincere in his own affairs. A truly believing person will value another, his essence will manifest itself in the fact that he will wish for another the same thing that he wishes for himself. From this we can see the special difference between a sincere person and an insincere person. Of course, such people can also be found among Muslims, and this may serve, albeit not directly, but as an indirect manifestation of the insincerity of such a person in matters of worship. The second thing that interests us is the general classification of people who use hidden influence on others. It should be noted that the spectrum of manipulative influence is very wide, and all manipulators can be divided into two large groups: active and passive. Active are those who always use active methods of influence, who in one way or another try to predict the reactions of another, to calculate the likelihood of one or another reaction desired by the manipulator. Such people always need complete information about the object of manipulation. Precisely an object, since other people are not perceived differently by them. Many of us are probably familiar with the unpleasant feeling when you buy something, knowing in advance that you don’t need it, but you can’t help but buy it. This usually happens when you end up with a seller who actively uses methods of hidden influence. For example, when you ask about the price of something you like, but don’t particularly need, such a seller will not tell you its price, no, he will behave differently. Namely, he will answer you with something like: “Oh, this thing is expensive for you, it’s not with your ability to purchase it.” Naturally, such a phrase will offend you, cause bewilderment, and more importantly, it will make you want to prove to this unfortunate saleswoman that you are the one whose capabilities allow you to purchase it. This is exactly the reaction that the manipulator is counting on; it is important for him to hurt your feelings, to make you want to prove something. Remember how awkward you felt as a child when someone told you a provenfor centuries the phrase: “What, weak? Prove that you are not a weakling." Many people fell for this manipulator's bait. They proved to someone that they are not weaklings, that they are the ones who can answer the Challenge. Another no less common technique among merchants is to interact with the thing you like as if it had already been sold to you, as if you already had it master. For example, you want to buy a jacket and start looking at it. At this time, the seller invites you to try it on, unpacks it (while always making it seem as if it would be impossible to pack it back), puts it on you, fastens all the buttons, etc. The essence of this technique is to provoke the buyer feels guilty for the inconvenience, that he made these multiple sacrifices for your sake. As a result, he expects you to feel extremely uncomfortable in front of him, and this feeling would not allow you to refuse the purchase. The most important thing is to understand that everything you saw and heard is nothing more than a well-acted performance by one actor. Remember that you do not owe anything to the seller, his main goal is to sell the product as quickly as possible; you have a different goal: to buy something that you not only like, but also fits your budget. Similar situations can arise in the meat market. Some sellers, seeing that you have shown interest in a particular piece of meat, immediately begin to weigh it for you, some even begin to chop it, while asking you what pieces, small or large. Everything is arranged as if you have already agreed to purchase his product. If you find yourself in a similar situation, then you should not take this or that product unless you have your consent. Let him chop it up, unpack it or perform any other manipulations, this in no way obliges you to take what is offered to you. In general, the range of actions of active manipulators is very wide; it is not possible to describe all their various psychological tricks within the framework of one article . The only sure way to recognize it is through our own feelings. If you understand with your mind that something is not worth doing, but hurt pride or any other feeling forces you to do it, then you can conclude with a high degree of confidence that you have come under the influence of psychological manipulation. All of the above concerned the actions of active manipulators, but There are also so-called passive manipulators. Don't let the word "passive" fool you into thinking that this is a weak type and will be easy to deal with. In fact, a passive manipulator will be more active than any active manipulator and in a collision with an active one will definitely gain the upper hand. This is an even more dangerous type. The only way of psychological influence of this type is to demonstrate one’s complete helplessness. Yes, it is feigned helplessness that is his universal key to influencing others. This is due to the fact that all his activities are aimed at influencing the altruistic feelings of others, their desire to be useful to someone, their sense of self-worth. The most famous of the passive manipulators is conventionally designated as the “Helpless Personality.” This type always shows their increased dependence on others, moderately underestimates their own importance, and demonstrates the inability to act or make decisions independently. All his actions are aimed at making the object of manipulation show a desire to take custody of him and do something for him. In the end, he always wins, gets what he wants, not from one, but from the other. The psychological literature describes a type of manipulation called “Monkey on the neck.” Its essence is demonstrated by the following example. The boss instructs his subordinate to contact one institution with an application for any service. After some time, the boss asks this same subordinate about what stage his assignment is at now. In response, the subordinate tells him that he is very insignificant.