Good afternoon! Have you noticed in yourself how you stop yourself? You want more, but something inside you stops you, as if you feel guilty or cold. Or maybe you find it difficult to name a price for your services? You can do something much better than your colleagues, but at the same time you greatly underestimate the price, and sometimes you cannot even name the price for your product. You constantly forbid yourself something: taking too much, asking for something for yourself, etc. It's always easier for you to give in. This article is written for you. It is a logical continuation of articles about personal and systemic human needs: https://www.b17.ru/article/125354/ https://www.b17.ru/article/126160/ There is one interesting word in the Russian language - “can ". It is used in two meanings: I can = I can and I can = I dare, I have the right. And, as a rule, what we can do is much more than what we dare, what we have the right to or have allowed ourselves to do. So why are your skills growing day by day, but you don’t dare as much as you would like? Why don't you allow yourself more and how to give yourself permission? The answers to these questions are related to systemic needs, guilt and conscience. This is what limits a person. The family system has needs for integrity, proper structure and balance. If everything is normal, then the person is free, can do whatever he wants for his development and a happy life, i.e. a person dares, has the right, has allowed himself. But if there are excluded people or the law of hierarchy is violated, then, as a rule, the youngest will restore justice. This may feel like some kind of internal prohibition to take, to be happy, a prohibition to live to the fullest. No matter how much a person strives for success in life, his energy will go to the excluded. The family system will always sacrifice those on the periphery to restore justice. The clan or family system always gives a person all the necessary resources for a full life. But if someone in the family is ignored, condemned, praised or pitied, then the younger one forbids himself to take and use the resources that life gives. There is a mechanism of loyalty or service in the family system. The survival of the entire Family or the entire system is more important than the survival of an individual member. Abortions and miscarriages are a vivid example of how children, before they are born, save the family system, leaving for the world of the dead before they are even born, forbidding themselves to live. They take with them something difficult and not accepted from the family system. And if there was an unborn child, then what happened before no longer makes sense. It is imperative to grieve his death and let him go with love and gratitude. And allow yourself to move on with your life. This is just one way to give yourself permission. It is probably impossible to see all your services to the family system. But after seeing the main services, agreeing with how it was, you can allow yourself more. There is an excellent tool for this - the method of systemic arrangements. Constellation group, I carry out work at your request https://www.b17.ru/training.php?id=46410