Many people have never thought deeply about why they want to have a child. Or why, if they already have a child, he is the way he is. So positive, ordinary, normal or negative, according to his parents. Reflections on such topics provide a huge number of answers to the question, why is it like this for me and not some other way... And they help to figure out how to make the family happy, and the relationship with children healthy, authoritative and respectful. Often people give birth to children simply because it is necessary, or because everyone does it this way, it is customary, everyone has children, the age is right, ... they simply then raise these children as best they can, as it seems right to them, or in the same way as they raised them themselves their parents. Then they dream about how smart and successful their children will be and how they will achieve this and how happy everyone will be later. Then simply some “mechanical” actions are performed to achieve these goals. Then, during the course of life, many events occur, the methods of education used often seem ineffective, the children are disobedient, and contact with them is lost. Previous goals seem difficult to achieve. And the parents themselves feel sad and disappointed. What is the reason? There are a lot of reasons. But let’s look at the fundamental, in my opinion, things on which the life of every new person depends. Awareness in parenthood The main thesis of this is: “As little mechanical thoughts, actions and deeds as possible and as much awareness as possible that you are a future or already a real parent.” It would be simply wonderful if people who are just planning to be parents asked themselves the question, who is a parent? (mother, father). What is their function? What is their task? How would this manifest itself in their future parental life? Reflect on the topic of why I want a child, what motivates me? Is this my desire, or is it a desire dictated from somewhere outside... And if this desire is somehow dictated from the outside, then what kind of me will I be, will I be a mom or a dad? And how will I carry out parental functions within myself? Imagine a certain mission of my parenthood and clearly understand what it would be specifically for me. It’s not too late to ask yourself such questions, even if you are already a parent. It’s better to let this awareness come to you later than never. Awareness of your parenting will help future parents avoid difficulties in raising and interacting with their child, and will help existing parents find answers to questions (if they have them, of course), why I have exactly this kind of relationship with my child, and not some other one that I, for example, would like more of. Sense of responsibility and internal maturity Often parents are dissatisfied with the behavior, habits or actions of their children. They may ask themselves questions, where did this trait come from in my child!? Sometimes without realizing that it was he himself who was the mirror in the formation of such behavior in the child. Moreover, parents do not create such mirrors on purpose! Just due to spontaneous situations. For example, when spouses communicate with each other, when communicating with friends, with parents, relatives, conversations taking place in the family, of which your child is an involuntary witness. I will give examples: 1. Imagine that parents teach a child to be honest, kind and open. They conduct interesting dialogues with him on this topic, read various books where similar qualities are touched upon and shown. And suddenly at some point a phone call is heard in the house. Someone completely unwanted calls, the boss, for example, asking to work on the weekend, or the mother-in-law with the news about her imminent arrival. And then the parent, for example, in order to avoid such events, begins to lie, come up with various reasons, or behave in some other way. And then hang up and express what he thinks about this person’s call. And then maybe discuss it with your spouse/!