I used to often have dreams about a tsunami. It's such an incredible feeling. You sit on the beach, sunbathe, and don’t bother anyone. And then... A wave... Right above you. It's just exciting. And I remember the dynamics. At first it was scary as hell, excuse my French. Just awful! I ran, I saved myself, I tried to save everyone around me. I climbed to heights, I ran through the city... I woke up sweating, and then for a long time my body remembered the state of fear. Once I was even swallowed up by a wave, I suffocated and “died” in my sleep. Of course, I woke up abruptly and began to breathe quickly and a lot. I remember that sometimes I remembered that the other day I saw a tsunami and escaped from it. But after half a minute I remembered that it was a dream... And still I asked myself... “Or maybe I didn’t dream it after all?” And this aftertaste had ambivalent experiences. And it seems incredibly scary, but I really want to try, to experience it in reality. You know, when you know what will kill you, but it’s so tempting to check, what if it doesn’t? And even if yes, then it is worth it to die... It was quite a long period, maybe two or three years. This was before therapy and the first year of therapy. Then I began to dream of a calm sea, but these dreams were always accompanied by notices that the end of the world was coming and everyone needed to be saved. This series of dreams ended with me having to walk on water to reach another life... I told myself that the main thing is to believe. And I went... Right along the surface of the radiant morning Black Sea... Then I often dreamed of a non-existent city and the sea in it. With each dream, the city and this sea improved and became brighter. Until it got to the point where a train was traveling across the sea, there were factories on the sea and nearby - right in the middle of the sea - entertainment complexes. Some more time passed, maybe a year, maybe two, and I started dreaming of a tsunami again. But now I was not afraid of him. And she didn’t even escape. It just passed me by. I just stood there and looked at the rising wave above me. It took my breath away. But no longer out of fear. And how gorgeous she is! What a miracle of nature this is! I was firmly convinced that this miracle of nature and I were friends. And now I miss you... Tsunami, come to me more often in your dreams! You are my essence. You are my Everything. You are me. And I cannot be different than someone like you - all-consuming, exciting, frightening, but at the same time, sensual, attentive and tender, if you trust this miracle of nature... And I miss you! No matter how hard I try to become different... My essence cannot be corrected - I am a tsunami!