Quite a lot of articles and books have been written to help those whose husbands left them, who went through all the hardships of divorce. However, few people think that the subsequent wives of these men will also find themselves in a difficult situation. Not only that, these women, being in a relationship with a given man, will never be the first; they also quite often tolerate the real presence of their ex in their relationship. This is how a second wife complex develops in new passions. Then the hubby will call her sloppy, and will also add that her ex was also very clean. He goes to visit the children and constantly quotes excerpts from a conversation with his ex-wife. Many support their first families financially, and morally too, especially in the event of any difficulties and crises.[/url]The situation is not easy. You will need considerable endurance. Try to deny yourself the pleasure of making a couple of reproaches towards your ex. It’s better to unobtrusively hint to the faithful that at the moment he is with you, that each person is individual, and you would not like to be compared with someone else. It also happens that both wives unite in a fit of female friendship. This decision is very specific and absolutely not justified if wife number one is still single. Let him first get a stable boyfriend, then you can somehow consider communicating together. Although, no matter how stable such a coalition may be, it entails too many negative factors that can have a negative impact on the well-being of the new family: the ex may give “sincere” harmful advice, the man will constantly compare both wives, and in general she will constantly remind him of the past. What if nostalgia overwhelms him so much that he even decides to return to the affairs of bygone days? Did you really dream about this? Of course, you shouldn’t openly show your hostility and, especially, conflict. It’s better to keep your enemies close. At the same time, if calls or requests from your ex have become regular and irritating to you, you need to have a frank conversation with your husband, share your experiences and together develop tactics for communicating with the “person from the past” so that it’s as little of you as possible worried, and, at the same time, allowed your spouse to live in peace, feeling that all his obligations are being fulfilled. And also, be sure to find a way to make your ex firmly understand: you have a strong family, and your husband will never come to her under any circumstances will not return. You will certainly feel that you are “secondary” thanks to your spouse’s “good” friends and parents. In their company, you are unlikely to be able to escape some “nice” memories from the distant past, causing everyone to laugh or nostalgically groan. The salvation in this situation will be the development of self-confidence. At the moment, you are your spouse’s beloved woman. You are beautiful and amazing and have many qualities. By the way, don’t forget about the response: be active, cheerful and bright, demonstrate your best qualities, initiate kisses and hugs of your husband, and then the whole company will quickly understand that you and only you are his only, desired and unique one. Of course, happy “multiple “Husbands, I would like to turn to you. Show concern for your current lady love - try to protect her as much as possible from your past. Create comfortable living conditions for her to live with you, and instill confidence that she is the queen of the new chapter of your biography. You will see, your wife will appreciate these efforts, her gratitude will know no bounds. And again I turn to you, dear ladies. Since your chosen one is a man “with a past,” try to understand and accept his personal history, because it is thanks to the past that you have a present that promises a wonderful future for your family! With great sympathy and respect, Evgenia Shramchenko (practical psychologist)