A lot is said about how important it is to have personal boundaries and be able to defend them. But what if the violator is you? Let's look at some important points that will allow you to show respect for your own boundaries. First of all, you need to deal with your physiological needs. Often a person refuses to go to the toilet and endures it until he completes some task, does not take food despite hunger, because there is no time, and neglects to get enough sleep. And very often this happens to please other people. For example, a mother prepares a bunch of food for the baby, but instead of eating full meals, she eats random snacks, or parents allow their children to break into the restroom or distract them from drinking tea. It would seem that it’s no big deal, tea and lunch can wait, but the parents themselves are violating their own boundaries in this way, and they also teach their child this (not purposefully, of course). You need to respect the word you’ve given yourself. This is generally the most difficult point to fulfill, since a person will have a thousand and one reasons and excuses for not keeping his promise to himself. This is also where self-violation of personal boundaries begins. Have you promised yourself to get a massage at the end of the week? Then there is no need for parents to go digging the garden! You can always wisely distribute your time and responsibilities, without forgetting about the promises you made to yourself. People most often push these things aside, and this is wrong. The general theory of “goodness” simply does not allow you to go for a massage when your parents don’t have a garden dug at their dacha, because a massage is such nonsense compared to fulfilling your duty to your parents. We need to get rid of such stereotypes. Did you promise yourself a walk in the woods before your friend called and invited you to go shopping? This means you are going to the forest. You must always find time for regular physical rest and mental relaxation. This is especially true for people with a heightened sense of responsibility and parents. The latter can rarely imagine a scenario in which they abandoned their children to their grandmothers and simply drove off to be alone. After all, in order to leave a child for at least an hour, there must be a concrete reason such as going to the hospital. No, there is always one reason for rest - you currently need this rest, no matter if you have worked hard for a year without days off or are tired after a busy day. There is no need to go to extremes when you simply cannot get out of bed. Rest regularly. Respect your emotions and feelings, give yourself time to experience them. Many people equate bad emotions with a bad person. However, it is not. Anger does not mean that you are a typical aggressor, and envy does not mean that you are an insecure person. It’s normal to experience different emotions and give yourself the right to express and live them. Following on from the previous point, it’s a good idea to master competent ways of living emotions. Do not accumulate them in your emotional “warehouse”, but release them. “Cleanse” your environment from those people who have a negative impact on you, or at least distance yourself as much as possible. This includes all manipulators, victims, passive aggressors, abusers, in a word, all toxic people. You can also include in this list those who, with their “ideality” and toxic positivity, make you feel like an unconscious and worthless person. A person who respects his own boundaries will never allow others to violate them. Do you respect your personal boundaries? What else could you add to this list? Book a consultation: WhatsApp, Telegram +7 913 380-83-42 Skype: as3808342 Learn to manage your emotions!💪