Parents are victims who have not learned to cope with their difficulties and negative emotions on their own; they need a “container” where they can put what no longer fits inside themselves. And this “container” becomes your own child, onto whom you can “impose” any interaction scenario. Having gained experience in childhood, the child applies this style of relationships with other people. Containing the feelings of others becomes the norm for him. The child grows up and to experience feelings within himself, more and more resources are needed. It’s as if he is “hostage” of other people’s emotions. All the feelings that the parents could not cope with on their own, they shift to the child, who has no experience of living with them in an environmentally friendly manner, and they do as best they can: they forget about themselves, about their needs and desires. This style of relationship is very cruel towards your children. Children whose parents were victims who had to be “saved” often enter into abusive relationships where they need to get their husband/wife out, they don’t know or understand what they want, where their boundaries are. And that’s all why - the child saw how his parents coped and this model of relationship is familiar and understandable to him. The child should not be a “container”, he has his own feelings and his task is to learn to cope with them, and here he needs the help of his parents. It is the parents who show by their example how to cope and solve the problem; instead, he sees the parent as a victim who himself needs help. Parents, learn to cope with your feelings and emotions on your own, your children do not have to be responsible for them, this is your task. Among their clients there are often requests “I'm sick of it,” and it becomes difficult to explain the words, since many live this way all their lives, this is already their life script, and those who listen to the quiet voice inside themselves and understand that something is wrong and come to psychotherapy. There may be an illusion that it will pass over time, but this is not the case if, without understanding the root cause, it is difficult to change your life scenario and free yourself from parental attitudes. Sign up for a consultation using the link ➔ Sign up Your psychologist, Larisa Degtyar Phone - +7 (926) 782-13-57 My telegram channel https://t.me/degtyar_psy