For many years, interviewing representatives of the fair sex on the question of what type of sexual conflicts seem most sad and offensive to them, most often I received the same answer: a noticeable decrease in male sexual activity at a time when a man is clearly not yet a pensioner and, according to all objective and subjective indicators, should still be interested in the sphere of intimacy... But, alas: with his lady, he is no longer interested in this. And answering countless women’s questions about why men cool off sexually so quickly, I want to answer dear ladies as follows: despite the fact that there are quite a few reasons for the decline in male sexual activity, it is precisely at the age of 45 (that is, when men are especially supposed to be men) most often this is due to three things: - firstly, with the loss of male interest in a familiar sexual object and the associated desire to expand or at least update his harem; - secondly, with the emergence of the feeling that his girlfriend began to surpass him in mental, volitional, financial or career terms (in general, in terms of social status); - thirdly, with the excessive “domestication” of a woman’s behavior, when she becomes so good, “one of our own” and “ manual”, which causes nothing (or almost nothing) in a man except boredom. Since in this article we are just starting a big conversation on this topic, in it we will talk to you only about the very first of these three theses-explanations given above, about the loss of male interest in a familiar sexual object. Moreover, I will try not only to decipher it, but also to provide my dear readers with a number of useful tips that will help them revive the sexual activity of their men. In the article “How a wife’s success in career and income can worsen intimate life in the family,” thesis No. 2 will be considered, and in the article “What is “secondary sexual modesty” and how it can create problems in the family” we will talk to you about the harmfulness of female sexual domestication and the sad outcome of female sexual “correctness”. Well, now we are planning to get acquainted with the male harem expansion (renewal) syndrome. General considerations: Let's start by putting an end to the question so beloved by sexually dissatisfied women about whether men can still be faithful to their girlfriends or whether they after all, potential “scoundrels-cheaters.” In the 21st century, we can speak quite openly: Based on the data accumulated by science, we can absolutely unequivocally admit: every normally developed man is a potential cheater! And whether respected women and the men themselves like this statement - this is the tenth thing and does not negate anything at all : facts remain facts! And here they look like this: First. Our ancient ancestors lived in harems. To begin with, our anthropoid ancestors (as well as modern chimpanzees, gorillas and orangutans) apparently lived in so-called harem families, which were composed very simply: one main dominant male leader, from three to ten females, several cubs and juveniles. Grown-up young males were simply expelled from the group, lived on the immediate periphery and either waited for the older male to die, or picked off one or two females and created their own harem. In this version, human ancestors and the very first people lived for many millions of years and, therefore, there is no doubt that: The desire to create harems and be the main (and preferably the only male) is currently present in the overwhelming number of men. Especially among those rich and successful men who can afford to buy this very ancient biological pleasure. Here's your very first motive, having just become the happy owner of one lady, you immediately begin to look invitingly and interestedly in the direction of others... Second. There are always fewer males than females. This treacherous behavior of oursancient ancestors and modern men is completely normal and fully fits into the general natural scheme, according to which most mammals always have fewer males than females. Have you ever seen a herd with a hundred males and only ten females?! That's right, you'll never see it! Therefore, complaining that there are too few men now is pointless simply because this has always been the case everywhere, in all species of mammals! And as for this scheme itself, it is also deeply logical: Mother Nature made it so that the question of improving the species was the prerogative primarily of the male sex, which, precisely for this purpose, is always subjected to a greater number of various kinds of difficult trials. Somehow: taking the blows of predators, fighting during mating tournaments, living alone far from the herd, where older males are not allowed, etc. and so on. And this is again correct: is it really possible to expose to all these blows of fate those who have their own heavy burden - to bear a new life within themselves and feed their newborn offspring? Of course not! So, ultimately, in the wild, what can be defined as specialization of the sexes developed: – Males constantly test themselves in extreme situations and thus identify those most successful gene combinations, which make sense to pass on further by inheritance. (This is why in nature young males are not allowed near females: they have not yet been tested for survival! Let them run away from their enemies for a couple more years, then you’re welcome...).– Females are essentially living reproductive units: their task is first to mate with the leader male (the carrier of the most successful genome), and then give birth and produce offspring more adapted to the conditions of the environment. And within the framework of this system, where all males of the same species appear before us in the form of a kind of hierarchical pyramid, where the preferential right to reproduction and Only those specimens that are on the highest social floor can mate with females; for the reproduction of a new life, a large number of males is simply not required: it is enough to have exactly the number of them that will ensure the reproduction and protection of females. And to complete this task, as you yourself understand, again, the number of males equal to the number of females is not even required! This is where our eternal shortage of marriageable men comes from, the presence of which ladies regularly complain about: this phenomenon is simply programmed into human society. But in fact it has always been like this! And we inherited this from wild nature. Since the biological essence of a man, from his youth, is the desire to become a leader, a kind of “dominant male” who is the most attractive to all the surrounding “females”, other “males” around them are always attractive to men first of all, competitors and therefore “irritants”. Therefore, the behavior of all those normal boys and men who want to stand out from the crowd, please women and create love relationships with them, is always and will be conflicting, oppositional, somewhat extreme and therefore... fatally dangerous for them. Due to their masculine nature, it is difficult interrupted by the biological desire to “test one’s strength”, to prove one’s qualities as a “real man”, due to a neglectful attitude towards basic safety precautions, boys and young men drown in rivers and lakes much more often than their peers, fall off cliffs, roofs and balconies, and break up on motorcycles, mopeds and cars, disappear forever in the taiga, freeze during winter hikes in the forest, are blown up by homemade and military explosive devices, beat each other to death in teenage fights, die from encephalitis tick bites, get hit by cars and trains. They are electrocuted, covered in avalanches, die from gasoline fumes in garages, fall through the ice, unable to withstand the reproaches of their parents or the suffering of their first unhappy love, and end their lives.suicide. The final blow for many is also serving in the army, where even in peacetime mortality is always at a very high level. It is not surprising and quite natural that by the age of approximately 25-30 years, when men enter the most attractive marriageable age, in any society there are always significantly fewer of them than girls and women willing to marry them. And this situation is quite normal. Third. Men are slightly concerned about the fate of their offspring. Having read points No. 1 and No. 2, dear ladies are already more or less prepared to comprehend the following: The biological program of men sounds like this: “First test yourself in the hardships of life, and then impregnate as many women as possible , and create the maximum possible number of genetic combinations that are most optimal for the survival of your biological species.” Now, please, think about what you read... Do you see anything here about the fact that men are responsible for the children they generate? That's right, you don't see it. And you won't see it! You won’t see it simply because Mother Nature didn’t provide for it. Not provided and that's it! At least be indignant, at least don’t be indignant. But there is every reason to believe that Mother Nature came up with the following scheme: A male who is the owner of either a given female or a whole group of females (within a herd, harem family, etc.), after mating and birth children, of course, remains close to the mother(s) in labor and actively protects (and sometimes feeds) their offspring. However, here’s the problem: if danger arises, he gladly rushes to eliminate it and... often dies heroically! From the point of view of Mother Nature, this is not so bad and not even sad at all! After all, this is precisely where, strictly speaking, his biological mission ends successfully: this male once survived in his youth, proved his strength in past battles with enemies and competing partners, took part in the process of procreation, and now, in If he dies in a new battle, within the entire collective as a whole, the survival of his children becomes the prerogative of completely different males. That is, this task is transferred, as if along a conveyor belt, somewhere further down the men’s row. She goes towards those very young males who all this time (while adult successful males were alive) were not allowed to see females, were on the periphery of the herd and modestly waited for their time to prove that they, too, are real men! And now this hour has come: they take orphaned females under their protection, become their new owners, and then produce those same descendants of their own (they create new successful gene compositions), which they, again, themselves will not raise due to their own heroic death. Thus, there is a kind of advancement of a certain “sexual order of males”, the process of gene renewal does not stagnate and the population is always ready to sensitively respond to changes in nature by naturally occurring selection within itself. Dear readers should understand: Natural societies (flocks, herds, prides , harem families of monkeys, etc.) are arranged in such a way that there is a constant rotation of males, a kind of conveyor of renewal of those who have the right to access females and reproduction operates. In this sense, it is categorically impossible to transfer to the wild nature what we (such progressive!) opinion, everything should be arranged! The fact that we are taught from childhood to the idea that every child should have a mother and father and they should live their whole lives together does not in any way cancel the functioning of that same thing in the genes and brains of modern men the program of behavior of a “real male”, which is universal for the overwhelming number of species of mammals! This is why men who have married and successfully reproduced at all times feel responsible for their future or current children only in theory, and continue to “behave as heroes” even when they are fathers of several children at once , despite women’s protests, they go to war, to the police or to gangs,they work as miners and miners, pilots and submariners and are engaged in many other activities (and even entertainment) that, although they evoke public respect, most often lead to their death and the transformation of their children (and sometimes even unborn ones) into orphans... Easier saying: Putting themselves at risk and risking saying goodbye to life, theoretically for the sake of saving other people’s lives, but in reality for the sake of passing another test of one’s strength (and, accordingly, increasing the rating of their popularity among females) both primitive males and modern men (who are on the genetic level, who, thanks to civilized upbringing) seem to know: in the event of their death, the entire society as a whole will act as a certain collective male who will ensure the survival of their children and grandchildren. And their death itself is also expedient: it will provide an opportunity for growing new males to participate in the process of reproduction and improvement of the breed, and will remove obstacles to the renewal of the species as a whole. The fact that the bravest, smartest and most honest men look at their wives and girlfriends most often from photographs on grave monuments, and their children are raised by completely different fathers, alas, is part of Mother Nature’s huge plan. And no matter how it may seem to us unnatural, it is so... It’s just that Mother Nature, having taken all possible part in the creation of modern human society, was not ready for the speed of its social progress and has not yet had time to update (as we update the programs of outdated computers) male and female behavioral programs. She simply doesn’t yet know that we humans already know that we are mortal and are very worried about this. She is used to dealing only with those who have no reason... And all this is very, very sad! Fourth. The fight against male infidelity only increases the prestige of infidelity and increases men’s craving for this process. And everything I said would be good if not for one “but”. Carrying out their biological program, constantly striving to test their strength and lure more and more women to themselves with their successes and achievements, modern men (just like Mother Nature herself!) have not yet adapted at all to what is in the yard no longer the Mesozoic era and not the Stone Age! They have great difficulty adapting their behavior to the standards that are imposed on them by the current (far from primitive!) society. Including the fact that for a number of reasons (a separate book could be written about them), modern society (and above all, its female part!) has a bad attitude towards the fact that a man has parallel relationships with several women at once, in other words, either cheats, or is morally determined to do so and is just waiting for a convenient opportunity to arise. And it is not surprising that the normal desire of all ladies not to be cheated on constantly comes into very strong conflict with the biologically determined male behavioral program of the “real male”, which I personally jokingly call the harem renewal syndrome and which is most clearly visible in within the framework of long-term or family relationships. So, the whole point here is that: By prohibiting men from expanding their harem and calling it treason, paradoxically, modern society only stimulates male activity in this matter! Yes, yes, exactly that way, and not otherwise! After all, judge for yourself: in order to receive guaranteed attention from women, the average man needs to achieve recognition as a successful person in an area that commands public respect. Moreover, the very concept of “public respect” at the everyday level is divided by men separately into three components: – Public respect in general (for example, the purchase of a Mercedes is assessed equally positively by both women and men). – Public respect through the prism of only male perception (for example, a certain a man can drink a liter of vodka at once, defeat two or three opponents in a fight at once, sleep with three girls at once andhas the courage to single-handedly go against the opinion of the entire team). – Social respect through the prism of only female perception (for example, a certain man consistently receives a high salary, goes everywhere with his wife, takes his child to a music school himself, regularly washes the dishes, etc.) Of course, the most significant of this triad for men are the assessments of society as a whole and the male community separately. So, whether dear ladies want it or not, both in the assessment of society as a whole and in the assessment of the male community, the following is currently recorded: A man’s possession of a large number of women is still socially prestigious, causing envy and respect among everyone! And the more women and society fights against this and verbally expresses their “fie”, but in reality they smile knowingly and openly envy such men; the syndrome of expanding one’s harem, genetically built into every man, only receives additional stimulation. After all, judge for yourself: Since recognition by men and women is fundamentally important for every man, and having a large number of women is always the easiest way to gain respect from “colleagues of the same sex,” this means overcoming the difficulties that prevent this from being realized in practice, in itself increases the value of infidelity and takes it beyond simply obtaining sexual pleasure: for modern men, infidelity is about the same as acquiring a rare stamp for a philatelist or receiving a new rank from the military. Cheating in such conditions is both a way of male self-expression and the implementation of a male biological program and increasing one’s rating in circles of those in the know. Simply put: The more dangerous it is for a man to add someone else to the list of his mistresses, the higher it will be valued by other men, the stronger the respect for him will be and the more he will want not only to put it into practice, but also to make sure that this has become known to as many men as possible! Thus, in the process of the modern struggle for male decency and a strong family, in fact, we get nothing more than a kind of doubling and strengthening of the biological male behavioral program of the “successful male” by overcoming moral and social prohibitions. And this is not just another statement that the forbidden fruit is always sweeter. This is a rather serious pattern that we have formulated, the essence of which is that: The more modern society prohibits infidelity, the more strongly the male harem expansion syndrome will manifest itself! Thus, we can expect that in the next century all men will suddenly suddenly become “correct” and being faithful is not only pointless, but also dangerous: for anyone, and women in this matter, living with illusions is completely contraindicated... Fifth. The harem expansion syndrome leads to the manifestation of sexual promiscuity in men. Having upset dear readers that most modern men carry the harem expansion syndrome biologically programmed in them (and therefore they are drawn to more and more new sexual objects), it’s time to decipher how this works in practice and manifests itself in the sphere of sex. But in practice, all this looks very simple: Unlike women, men have amazing sexual promiscuity! Many girls and women (especially beautiful ones and those who look good), faced with the harsh reality of male infidelity, often do not understand why they betray those who are several times more interesting than those with whom their partners have short-term sexual affairs. I explain: The concepts of beauty and grooming of their girlfriends are, of course, also very important for men. But for the implementation of the biological program for a man to create as many genetic hereditary combinations as possible, something else is much more important: that there be as many partners as possible and that they be as different as possible. And the very concept of “more different” means that they can becompletely ugly, completely uninteresting and amazingly stupid. The main thing is that they are different, that there are many of them and that they are noticeably different from those women that men have already had (or currently have) in their lives! In an effort to officially possess a beautiful and well-groomed girl, men simply give in to social prestige. And instincts force them to look for sex with absolutely any women! Moreover, even with very mediocre ones! Men admit: If dear readers are interested in this, I inform you: Having interviewed about three thousand men of different ages (from 18 to 60 years old) who admitted the fact of having mistresses, I found out the following: Firstly, the overwhelming Most cheating men are aware that their “left” partners are significantly inferior to their official girlfriends and wives, not only externally, but most interestingly, even in bed! At the same time, many of the respondents realized this even before the technical formalization of the betrayal, that is, even before entering into sexual intercourse. Secondly, a significant part of the respondents, recognizing that the presence of “left” connections greatly complicates their lives, nevertheless said that they are unable to cope with this, since the very pleasure of having several parallel sexual partners at once is much higher than the level of male anxiety about this. Thirdly, almost all men know that their “left” hobbies, or even only the very thoughts about possible leftist hobbies necessarily reduce their sexual attraction to legal wives and girlfriends, and many even experience a certain complex of guilt about this. Based on these data from my survey, you should now become more clear about the incredible promiscuity of men in their love and sexual relationships dating, which always shocks girls and women so much: The worst secret of men's love and sexual dating is that the majority of men almost never know why they are getting acquainted, whether they need this acquaintance at all, and what the danger may be if it is discovered So, it seems quite logical to admit that when making acquaintances, girls and women are much better aware than their men of why all this is being done and what all this can lead to in the future. And this also brings us to this conclusion: In love and family relationships, the main share of responsibility for what is happening objectively falls on fragile women’s shoulders. And, first of all, because the majority of men have no time for this: they constantly turn their heads and look at everyone passing by representatives of the fair sex. Sixth. The harem expansion syndrome leads to a decrease in male sexual interest in an already conquered woman. Noting that the harem expansion syndrome leads not only to the manifestation of sexual promiscuity in men, but also (as a consequence) to a decrease in their sexual interest in an existing, “conquered” girlfriend, I as a psychologist should immediately note: The genetic call for sexual relations with different women does not always have an irresistible force for men! And I am not saying this at all in order to start justifying anyone or try to present men in a better light than this there really is! The phrase I highlighted does not contain the phrase “for all men.” And this means exactly what I want to emphasize now: The genetic call for sexual relations with different women has an irresistible force for all normal men! However, during their life it either intensifies or subsides... That is, from the age of 16 to 30-35 years, due to the generally high sexual activity of men at this age, the harem expansion syndrome is triggered for the vast majority of men. At the age of 30-35 to about 50 years, many of those men who are married and have children temporarily calm down : they are influenced by the social responsibility instilled in them by society and their wives for the successful placement of their growing children in the lives, and they are also very tormented by envy of those male competitors who succeedto become higher than them on the social, career or property hierarchical ladder. But after 45-50 years, those men who have already sent grown-up children into big life, have good physical indicators and some money, become sexually active again. However, you probably already know very well about this phenomenon, aptly called by the people “gray hair in a beard - a devil in a rib!” circumstances (usually unfavorable), married men can refrain from directly cheating on their wives for decades. However, this will not mean at all that the harem expansion syndrome will not work in them and they do not want to cheat. Not at all! Of course, they have all this! The surveys I conducted of those men who are all “in good standing” show: they, like the entire male majority, more or less regularly “want something sweet,” but social responsibility, the fear of losing a financially and career-wise wife, or true love help them successfully balancing on the edge of the sexual abyss and never moving from theory to practice. And the most important thing for us in all this is the following: According to my surveys, Regardless of whether they managed to cope with a fleeting sexual attraction to another woman or the matter ended in outright betrayal, the awakening of a man’s interest in someone “outside” almost always leads to a certain ( and sometimes significant!) reduction in male sexual activity towards his wife or official girlfriend. Men admit: During a frank conversation with a psychologist, almost all men admit the following: – Depending on the degree of individual sexual activity, for some, five years after the start sexual relations with his beloved woman (wife), and for some, even after a year, regardless of how well or poorly she satisfies him, a man almost certainly loses some interest in the sexual object that is already “subjugated” for him ", has become familiar, predictable, even somewhat insipid. - Regardless of whether the matter moves into a practical plane or is limited only to staring contests, men necessarily perceive many of the women with whom they have to communicate as their potential sexual partners. – By showing sexual interest in someone else at a given moment in time, even if the man pulls himself together in time and ultimately does not cheat on his wife or girlfriend, his sexual activity towards his close woman is temporarily reduced decline. – For those men who are especially actively (and, most importantly, regularly and constantly) interested in the girls and women around him, even if infidelity does not occur, sexual activity towards his wife is very often at a very low level for a long time. And all this is quite logical and easily explainable: since the sexual energy of men is not at all infinite, this means that those behavioral centers that are responsible in men (in the brain and spinal cord) for the process of sexual arousal, in order to better prepare a man for interested communication with other women (and technically ensure the possibility of sexual intercourse), you must first turn off a certain tap of male sexual activity in relation to an existing girlfriend (wife). So, to those respected ladies who are firmly convinced that the decline in the sexual activity of their husband or friend is associated with the betrayal that has already happened, I advise you not to perceive everything so unambiguously! In about half of the situation, this is only a sign that male psychology and physiology is still preparing for possible future intrigues with other women: for some this happens unconsciously, for some men they specifically limit themselves to sex with their wife or main girlfriend, to look better in bed when possibly meeting another partner. But as I already said, betrayal in this case is not at all clear: a man may wellto pull himself inwardly and stop in time, but his sexual activity in relation to his existing girlfriend or wife, alas, has in fact already decreased... Even mental betrayal of his partner necessarily reduces sexual activity in his (her) direction and thereby prepares the ground for real betrayal. And all this taken together allows us to come to the following final conclusion: Final conclusion: Regardless of whether her husband (friend) cheats on her or he holds on courageously, the presence in every normally developed man of a genetically determined harem expansion syndrome leads to the fact that Absolutely every woman, sooner or later, and most often even repeatedly, will definitely experience a significant lack of sexual attention from her partner. Men who talk about this especially willingly are often surprised themselves by what happens to them. When they come to see a psychologist together with their wife (or still girlfriend) who is complaining about their sexual coldness, such men say something like this: “You know, I’m even surprised myself! She completely suits me in everything, I don’t cheat on her, but as soon as I even briefly “fall” for someone else, it’s as if some kind of toggle switch goes off in my head and even if you cry: well, I’m not drawn to my wife( friend) and whatever you do! And sometimes this lasts for months... I even feel very ashamed and feel angry at myself, and until the fleeting image of some sexy beauty leaves my head, I can’t help myself... And sometimes this even happens and then when you don’t even look at anyone! I love my “half”, I admire her, I’m proud of how good she looks, but at times I still want some kind of sexual variety, and then for the life of me: I don’t want it and that’s it...” The reason for this sexual “toggle switch” to work is switch" in the brains of men (and women too), is already quite clear to you: As mentioned above, this is how Mother Nature, within the framework of the male behavior program, artificially switches male sexual interest and real sexual activity to more and more new ones sexual partners, thereby ensuring species diversity. After all, in the end, male potency, unfortunately for both the men themselves and their ladies, alas, is not inexhaustible! And since their limits and sizes for each day and month are very limited, Mother Nature (and the curly-haired guy named Cupid, authorized by her) takes on the functions of a kind of “sexual dispatcher”. She seems to move the arrows of male sexuality from one female object to another. And sometimes, out of forgetfulness, he even forgets to return them back... However, completing the already rather extensive theoretical part (I hope it helped you better understand the psychology of your own man and men in general) and now moving on to practical recommendations, I consider it necessary to note quite optimistically :Understanding the biological nature of the essence of the male harem expansion syndrome, although it does not cancel its action, nevertheless may well help women achieve an increase in the sexual activity of their partner in their own (and not someone else’s!) own direction. This is what we will now talk about in our practical recommendations .Practical recommendationsFirst. Do not be offended by your man for being... a man. Because I quite sincerely assert that throughout your love or family relationship, sexual interest in you on the part of your man will several times very noticeably decrease simply because his biological program will determine you as “our own”, switch his sexual activity to other objects and push him to conquer those women who are defined as “strangers”, “new” and therefore sexually interesting, I immediately ask dear readers the following: Try to understand that in the emergence of this The situation is not your man’s fault! And this problem and this situation are characteristic of the male sex as a whole. Therefore notblame your friend or husband for this, which often in itself makes many men ashamed of their own interest in strangers. Unfounded criticism in such cases sometimes itself becomes the cause of very big problems...Frequent female accusations of a partner that he is sexually inactive often lead him to the idea that he should look for someone who understands him more and is less conflicted. So, in this case , a completely different technique is much better. The one we will talk about in the next paragraph. Second. When faced with a decrease in your partner’s sexual activity that is incomprehensible to you, do not under any circumstances expect that everything will go away on its own! When a man periodically exhibits harem expansion syndrome and begins to sexually switch from a familiar object (girlfriend, wife) to someone else (or while still just into emptiness, without a clear focus on any of the women) men themselves often realize this very poorly. Feeling that for some reason they have become noticeably less attracted to sex with a close woman, experiencing a certain anxiety and even some feeling of guilt about this, men instinctively try to make excuses. The most common excuse sounds like this: “Sorry honey, I’m really tired today!” I just want to have a normal dinner, watch some movie and go to bed...” Caring and loving women in this case do this: they decide to themselves to leave their partner alone for a while and even create all the conditions for him to relax at home (they feed favorite dishes, allow you to watch your favorite channels to your heart’s content, cover you with a blanket, kiss you on the cheek and... don’t bother). So, according to my surveys and observations, this line of behavior, focused on the fact that “everything will go away on its own,” is most often wrong! In this version, the woman essentially lets everything take its course... Disadvantages of the female position: “let everything take its course” Judge for yourself: – Firstly, unclaimed sexual energy is gradually accumulating in the male partner! And as you know, she always strives to vent somewhere (or rather, at someone... In any case, that’s exactly how she’s supposed to behave. – Secondly, having little communication with her partner during the period of his supposed “fatigue” Without flirting at all and without performing such actions that would be perceived by him as sexual, a close woman begins to seem completely uninteresting to her man and even downright boring. Of course, she immediately begins to lose to the more energetic and obviously sexy ladies with whom he communicates during working hours and who may have their own designs on him. – Thirdly, thanks to the sincere care of his wife or girlfriend, a man actually strengthens himself physically and he (and this is quite natural) begins to want some more active activity. In particular, drink beer with friends, go to the bathhouse, go hunting or fishing, etc. and so on. This is often accompanied by meeting new women for a man, which ultimately gives rise to “leftist” relationships and leads to infidelity. Well, do these arguments convince you at least a little? That's it... In addition, keep in mind that the main problem in this situation is the following: Having entered the period of manifestation of the harem expansion syndrome, a man who is inactive in appearance is in fact very prone to various types of activity (especially sexual!). The only thing he really doesn’t want to do at this time is to show his hidden activity towards his usual partner, his wife. So, whether dear readers like it or not, overcoming this unpleasant situation depends only on you! And this is done in three stages. Three stages in the fight against the manifestation of harem expansion syndrome in your man: Stage No. 1. Diagnosis of the situation. At the first stage, you need to clearly determine what exactly you are dealing with: harem extension syndrome or, indeed, general physical fatigue of your partner. And this check itself looks elementary: if during three days of your intensive feedingpartner, his temporarily decreased sexual activity will not recover in your direction, you can be sure: the sexual apathy and blues of your partner are artificial in nature and are associated, first of all, with the triggering of the harem expansion syndrome already mentioned above in his mind. In this case, if you sit with your hands folded, you can rest assured that your man’s unspent sexual activity will sooner or later be redirected to some other feminine object. And somewhere “to the left” he, unexpectedly both for you and for himself, will be oh so active! Stage No. 2. Creation of a common field of activity. The second stage of female behavior is the involvement of a man in any form of active joint activity, except sexual. By this we mean absolutely anything, as long as it ensures the removal of a man from the depths of a cozy sofa and forces him to go somewhere with his lady. For example: – making a round of shops to purchase new clothes (preferably his favorite ones!); – visiting a recently opened shopping center for the purpose of an excursion and general acquaintance; – going to the cinema, to a concert or, at worst, to some cafe; – the beginning joint classes in the gym or swimming pool; - evening health walks in the fresh air. Etc. and so on. (Finally, use your imagination!!! And most importantly, don’t forget to make your communication as energetic, cheerful and even funny as possible! Whatever you do, discuss everything you see and hear, the people around you, tell funny stories and play the fool!) Despite all their apparent simplicity, the implementation of these and similar events is of great importance. Again, judge for yourself: Firstly, with all his desire, your supposedly tired and bored partner will never be able to accumulate such an amount of unspent physical and emotional energy that can go to someone else’s “left” side. Secondly, being next to you in public places and taking care of you, your man willy-nilly once again realizes that he is not alone: ​​his charming and very loving woman is with him! (And it would also be very good if she was sexually aggressive and good-looking!) Thirdly, getting into various kinds of emotionally pleasant situations not in general, but precisely next to his lady, a man will noticeably strengthen his spiritual connection with his chosen one .Emotional unity is always an excellent basis for reviving and strengthening mutual sexual interest! Fourthly, feeling close to his official “half”, appearing with her in public places, a man not only “scares off” your possible competitors, but also, according to me surveys of the men themselves, as if he disciplines himself, tunes in to more correct and restrained behavior towards other women. As a result of all this, the general mutual understanding in your couple should be strengthened, that certain alienation from you that always appears in men during the period of triggering will be overcome behavioral program for expanding the harem. And this will be an excellent basis for your further actions to return sex to your family (couple)! Note: Be prepared for stubborn resistance from your man! Biological procreation programs very rarely give up without a fight! Stage No. 3. Your sexual advance. The third stage is the active resumption of intimate life in a couple. The reason for decisively turning the situation in your favor and activating your partner after a prolonged sexual break can be anything. For example: Ten ways to go on a sexual offensive against a husband or friend who has temporarily lost interest in you: Method No. 1. You allocate money from the family budget to go to some sauna and provoke your partner to have sex in the pool or relaxation room. Method No. 2. You yourself buy a new type of condom at the pharmacy (for those couples where they are in use), say that you heard about them in advertising and offer to try them immediately. Method No. 3. Youyou buy a new super short satin robe and sit next to your partner on the sofa, taking very attractive poses. At the same time, you always openly demonstrate something. Method No. 4. You propose to remember the past and have sex in the car while you are returning from the cinema, a walk or a cafe (etc., etc.). Method No. 5. You propose to go with some other couple to someone’s dacha for barbecue. After drinking a couple of glasses of red wine, and even in the fresh air, many things are activated...Method No. 6. You refer to the fact that according to the Daily Horoscope you heard, today is the most favorable day for intimacy in your couple. Method No. 7. You first suggest sitting by the TV and drinking a bottle of beer before going to bed, and then sit on your partner’s lap...Method No. 8. You either take a bubble bath and call your man to rub your back. Or you sneak into his bathroom yourself when he is washing himself, and you do it in just a robe or without one at all. Method No. 9. When you go to bed, without warning your husband about anything, you set the alarm clock half an hour earlier. In the morning you will see your husband, send him to the bathroom, and when he comes to his senses, you reveal your stratagem and drag him into the bedroom in order to use the time you have won for intimacy in the most correct way. By the way, you can do this in another way. First, you move the hands on all the clocks in the apartment half an hour earlier (they say, it’s time to go to bed!). And when your husband has already crawled under the covers, you tell him about how you cheated and demand a sexual assessment of your action! In both cases, you get that same playfully benevolent attitude from your husband, which is exactly what is required for good sex! Method No. 10. Depending on which of you has your own separate office - you or your partner, at the end of the working day you will either come to his office yourself, or lure him to yours and... Well, in general, you understand what you will need to do there ! Exactly the very thing you haven’t been doing for a long time... Concluding this point, I want to say once again to dear ladies: the male behavioral syndrome of harem expansion especially often awakens when women: - temporarily lose their own sexual activity; - begin to look bad; - often argue with their husband on any issue; - and especially begin to be modest in the area of ​​sex. So, keep in mind: The sexual attack of other women on your partner always becomes possible only after some of your own sexual retreat! And if you do not understand this, then you will be doomed to always scold “these depraved youngsters” and “unscrupulous” women close to your age and... having a constant friend or husband, again and again live for weeks and months without sex. I advise you to think a little about this... Third. Liven up the situation with SMS! Having worked as a psychologist for many years, I am always surprised that many men and women very easily and almost without a fight give up those rights and privileges that once meant so much to them. Take the same SMS messages. Almost all modern couples during their love relationships go through the stage of cheerful erotic text messages, writing to each other how much they miss them, hinting at the upcoming rough sex and asking their partner not to overexert themselves at work and save strength for a passionate night. However, after some time, most men and women forget about this or even begin to feel embarrassed about it all. And all this, from my point of view, is an unforgivable mistake! Not only that, by refusing to exchange erotic SMS messages, men and women begin to live by the principle “out of sight, out of mind,” when during the school or work day they may not even remember each other once, there is another problem: the emptiness that arises in communication (especially in communication on an erotic topic) always strives to be filled! So it is often filled with completely different people: at first just fellow students orcolleagues, and then those very real mistresses and mistresses, who until recently were precisely these same fellow students (s) and colleagues. Who first began to correspond, just fooling around, and then wrote to each other something that made them want much more intimate communication. Based on the reality of this situation, I strongly advise you: Do not leave the erotic SMS space even after your romance lasts years or long ago turned into a civil or legal family! The thirst for communication can actually be stronger than the usual thirst! So do not create conditions so that your loved one, who is actually hungry not even for sex, but simply for basic human attention, suddenly wants to quench this thirst with someone else! If you do not warm up your feelings with prophylactic text messages on erotic topics, someone else will definitely start writing to you or your partner... You don’t even have to doubt it! And when you find out about this (someone just suddenly starts writing to your partner in the evenings and wishing for erotic dreams...), your hasty countermeasures may no longer be able to stop the development of this situation. (Most likely, their harshness will only worsen the situation!). And this defeat of yours will be nothing more than your capitulation to the harem expansion syndrome built into the brain of every normal ambitious man... In general, you understand: throughout the entire school or work day you should write erotic text messages to your partner and send the same SMS pictures , openly hint at your desire for intimacy and prepare him in advance for the fact that the inevitable and pleasant should happen this evening, and not on the weekend and definitely not in a month! Fourth. Periodically announce a sex marathon! If you have been friends or have been living as a family for at least a year (let alone a whole decade!), it means that during this time you must have accumulated a certain number of extreme sexual situations. So, I strongly advise you: by agreement with your partner, periodically repeat them all! Organize a special tour “to the places of your sexual glory.” Banquettes in cafes, bathhouses and cottages, picnic areas and rented apartments, once rented rooms in hotels and motels, favorite places for sex in a car “outdoors” - all this should become a testing ground for your new hot sexual battles. Buy a city map . Study it. Mark the “white spots” in your sexual history, that is, those areas where you have never had sex. Take a car ride there in the evenings, look for new protected corners... I assure you: the effect will exceed all expectations! When making a sex tour of your city attractions, pay attention to a small detail: almost a hundred varieties of condoms are sold in pharmacies. Set yourself the task of testing all their modifications for strength. It's exciting and unusual. Believe me, such a proposal will definitely intrigue your loved one and will help you deal a very decisive blow to the male harem expansion syndrome! Fifth. Carry out periodic sexual modernization. As a practicing psychologist, I know first-hand that many ladies believe that raising their sexual level is not a problem for themselves, but primarily for their partners. Such ladies usually say this: “...If my friend doesn’t ask for “anything that interesting” from me, then he doesn’t need “anything that interesting” from me! And if he doesn’t need anything from me, then I don’t need anything either! So we have complete idyll and mutual understanding...” So, I specifically remind you: One of the features of sex specifically in love and family relationships is that, when talking about who wants what and whether everyone is happy with everything, partners are openly embarrassed... to speak frankly! That is why it makes no sense for you expect that your husband or, for now, just your beloved man will tell you something specificallyabout this! And in response to your direct questions regarding intimacy, most likely your man will in every possible way assure you that he is absolutely satisfied with everything in this area. And men in love often say this even when absolutely nothing suits them! And they begin to speak truly frankly (and then, often, with very large omissions) only when, precisely because of unsuccessfully built intimate relationships, their love or family relationships have already found themselves in such a deep crisis, from which they may no longer be able to recover... And There is only one way out of here: Without listening to the loving babble of her friend or the respectful “Yes, everything is fine with you, dear,” of her husband, a smart lady is simply obliged to periodically carry out preventive sexual modernization of her relationship! And be sure to involve in this rather complex the process of your man. Otherwise, over time, this couple will accumulate such ballast of unfulfilled sexual expectations that the harem expansion syndrome will be triggered in the man until he creates a “left” relationship. Sixth. Don't skimp on sex! Invest money in sex! Many people spend a lot of money on alcohol and cigarettes, on expensive coffees and much more, and this adds up to very tidy sums per year. However, these types of costs usually only bring us health problems and do not justify our investments at all. Meanwhile, sex is the very area in which investments are guaranteed to bring excellent results, help overcome the crisis and “fatigue of relationships” with your loved one, do not allow him/her to look at someone else... And simply improve your mood! And in order for your sexual relationship to always be at a high level, you should definitely spend your money on: – going to gyms and buying exercise equipment; – visiting swimming pools; – buying sportswear (it always makes you look slimmer and more attractive); – solariums (a good tan is always very sexy); – stylish clothes; – purchasing modern men’s and women’s magazines. A lady should additionally spend money on: – haircuts, hairstyles and hair coloring; – beautiful nails; – erotic underwear, stockings, bodysuits and seductive robes .In general, if you want to look no worse than the sex symbols of Hollywood, and you don’t have much money, do a very simple thing: stop spending money on things that don’t benefit you! Each of us necessarily has bad habits and very expensive hobbies. So part with them! Let the money you spend on cigarettes, booze, slot machines (etc.) be better spent on enhancing your sex appeal. And then you definitely won’t go wrong! Don’t skimp on sex! Saving on sex is always punishable by cheating! Invest at least some money in the intimate sphere and within a couple of months you will definitely feel a change in your loved one’s attitude towards you for the better. And this has already been tested on millions of couples! Seventh. Always update your image in the spring! I remind you that love is an element of the procreation instinct, a special behavioral program that should make two people completely new to each other believe that they are the best, most optimal partners for procreation and enter into intimate relationships. That is, love was invented by Mother Nature for procreation, and therefore in the wild the feeling of love is always seasonal: it turns on exactly when optimal conditions for bearing and giving birth to children are about to arise. As you know, the most suitable time for this is spring, the period of awakening of all living things, the beginning of the season of good nutrition. Therefore, despite the fact that man is considered the most sexually active creature on Earth and is capable of falling in love and having sex seven days a week and all year round, it is in the spring that we tend to fall in love genetically, and are especially predisposed to this. And if so, accordingly the male harem expansion syndrome and the search.