From the author: Self-confidence - what kind of bird is this? How many people want to catch it. And many people think that this is impossible. You can think so and nothing not to do, but you can start to act. Let's figure out HOW? “Accept yourself”, “become self-confident”, “increase your self-confidence”, “raise self-esteem”, “add self-confidence” - these are the frequent requests that I hear in individual consultations and in my training programs. In fact, The problem of self-confidence, to a greater or lesser extent, worries each of us. Don’t you want to have the gift of persuasion, defend your interests, skillfully resolve conflicts, not shake with fear, afraid of value judgments about yourself, accept and respect yourself? And in general, be satisfied with yourself? I think everyone wants this. But for some reason, many of us believe that if you are unlucky enough to be born with such qualities, then nothing can be done! This is far from true! Of course, we cannot become a different person. But getting to know yourself - your strengths and your weaknesses, learning to effectively use your resources with the help of some technologies - is quite possible! After all, the approach to confidence is built not from the outside - from the assessment of behavior, but from the inside. "Of course, the path to confidence is slow, deep, persistent and painstaking work on oneself. Although, it depends on how you walk. There is one interesting story about this, which I read from Nina Rubstein, a famous trainer and gestalt therapist. “How long will it take us to get to the nearest railway station?” the tourists asked the local old man. “Go, - answered the old man. - We want to go. We ask, “Is it far?” “Go!” The tourists got angry and left. “You’ll get there in an hour,” they heard the old man’s voice. “Thank you,” the tourists answered. “Why didn’t you tell us right away?” “We should have looked first.” how you walk! So where do you start on this path? Exactly, with action. Since knowledge without action is dead. To begin with, I suggest you realize how often you act in your life the way you want, the way it suits you, or the way you should, the right way? Let's try to figure it out and listen to yourself. To do this, I suggest you do the following exercise: Write 10 sentences that begin with the words “I must (must)”: 1. I must... 2. I must... 3. I must... 4. I must... 5. I must... 6 .I must...7.I must...8.I must...9.I must...10.I must...Then write a second list that begins with the words “I can’t”1.I can’t...2.I can’t...3 .I can't...4.I can't...5.I can't..6.I can't...7. I can't..8.I can't...9.I can't..10.I can't..So, once you've written both lists, cross out all the "CAN"s and all the "MUST"s and write in their place. the word “I WANT”. Now read these lists again and listen to yourself. Perhaps you will agree with some of the proposals and even like them, but when reading some you will experience a protest and want to enter the particle “not” before the word I want, or, conversely, cross out the particle “not”. If such a desire arises, do it! If you find that in some sentences it would be more accurate to write “I can’t” or “it’s not available to me,” make changes to these sentences. Now read the lists again from beginning to end and answer the questions: -What changes for you when you read these sentences in this form? -How do you feel when you say “I want” or “I don’t want” instead of “I can’t” or “I have to”? Notice how often stereotypes imposed on us by parents, school, society, and envious people prevent us from living. Although we are already adults, we ourselves can seem to understand how we should live, what suits us best and what decisions to make. It seems like we can, but we live out of habit. And the habit of living in what is not suitable for us makes our life unsuitable for us! Today we looked at one of the technologies that helps us gain self-confidence. In the following articles we will continue our path. Until meeting. Psychologist Olga Osipova was with you.