Continued. Beginning: https://www.b17.ru/article/277921/It is worth noting that until the age of 4, a child is in a vertical relationship with others. That is, he is below, and the parent is above. This fact also affects his ability to conflict. The parent simultaneously cares and takes responsibility for the child, his safety, comfort, development, and on the other hand suppresses him, imposing his will. In this conflict, the child is forced to give in. Thus, the child has his own internal conflicts. These are inevitable side effects of education. The child also exerts interpersonal pressure on the parents, mainly in the form of whims and other manipulations that help the child both evade the imposed will of the parents and impose his own will. Fritz Perls described it as “a dog from below.” The skill of interacting and resolving conflicts with parents gives the child the opportunity to better interact with society and the environment in general. He comes into more and more contact with his peers. And here completely different conflict situations arise. Whims and, in general, the “dog below,” which are a manifestation of children’s egocentrism, no longer work in this conflict. You have to learn to conflict on equal terms. Of course, a child also acquires this skill under the guidance of adults, parents, educators, nannies and other significant adults who observe conflicts between siblings or students. And here the following mistakes are possible: 1) Lots of unity, little struggle - adults often emphasize that first of all, peace, friendship, and you should never conflict, you must share everything, give in to the younger ones, or give in to the older ones, it depends on the preferences of the teachers, you can’t offend, girls weaker and so on. If you have negative emotions and a desire to defend your interests, then you should first of all forget about it, and remember the numerous rules and follow them, just to avoid confrontation. 2) There is little unity, a lot of struggle - some adults, on the contrary, teach - “think only about yourself, the most important thing is your wishes, and the tears and grievances of other children are trifles. This strategy leads to the child remaining a capricious egocentrist. 3) Little unity, little struggle - the child is taught to stay away from peers so that conflict situations do not arise. This style of parenting leads to the fact that the child begins to avoid contacts altogether; sociopathy or social phobia may develop. 4) A lot of unity, a lot of struggle - some adults are excessively involved in the child’s social life, take them to various clubs, forcing the child to interact with peers more than he does. capable. The child constantly lives in stress, without having time to respond to it. The quantity of interactions does not translate into quality. And then such a child continues to live a life that is not his own. The most optimal thing is to help children live and resolve conflict so that they can be stable during confrontation and not run away from negative emotions. Also help the child get out of his egocentrism, take the opponent’s point of view, show interest in it, while not forgetting about his desires. Show that a conflict situation is not only negative, but above all it is creativity. Playing games together helps a lot with this. Even adults who went through this preschool crisis unfavorably and did not learn to creatively approach conflicts with peers can catch up on this skill in various games, as well as in psychological groups, where they can role-play various situations. Continued https://www.b17.ru/article/162540/