Sketch 1. There is a category of people who sincerely believe that each person should achieve everything themselves. They themselves try to behave this way and wish and advise others to do the same. In principle, the message is quite acceptable. But! There is a definite consequence to this message. Such people are forced to rely only on themselves, and therefore their inner confidence is always multiplied by the expressed expenditure of will and vitality. Sketch 2. Imagine this situation. You are a different person. One that needs the support of others. Yes, he can do everything himself. And he does everything himself. But he is the kind of person who appreciates the ability of others to support, motivate, and appreciates their presence in his life. He appreciates it not because he cannot do anything on his own, but because it is easier, more pleasant and simpler for you to live when your social environment supports you. Now imagine that two people and two different sketches met. For example, in relationships. Introduced? What will happen in this situation? In one direction - a condescending attitude up to criticism and contempt. After all, for a person who is used to doing everything himself, those who ask for help will cause rejection and rejection. And also a desire to engage in moral teaching. And in the other direction there will be dissatisfaction to the point of resentment. Since someone who is used to asking for help and support from loved ones (and even more so someone who is used to receiving it periodically) will feel at least disappointed every time his request is “reasonably” rejected. Which of these two is right? Well, both are right, it’s just that everyone has their own truth. But! After all, support is a natural need. And then when you ask for a natural need, it is definitely something that has to do with a healthy relationship. But the idea “everyone should add everything themselves” is definitely NOT about needs. This is the most common limiting belief. You even ate it in some places and it helps you in life. Therefore, of this couple, the one who openly asks for support needs more help. Simply because he is aware and has a specific need. And for such a person, one metaphor can be useful, which can be conveyed to the partner from the first sketch. So you tell me - do everything yourself, you have to cope on your own. But if in response I offer you to engage in masturbation instead of sex, how will you react to this? You can do everything yourself, you are capable of it, right? Or will it be somehow “wrong” for you? On the one hand, such a metaphor makes you smile, and on the other hand, it clearly shows how interaction differs from one’s individual capabilities. Do you often ask for support? Was the article useful to you? Feel free to click the “say thank you” button under the article! Have a nice day! You can subscribe to my articles and blog posts here Do you want to learn how to manage your condition? Take an online psychocorrection course individually or in a group!