If we mourn our failures day after day, console ourselves, and this process never ends, then we do not experience emotions, but suffer. This means that unmet needs continue to be unsatisfied. We sympathize with ourselves, console ourselves, but deep down we continue to hope that someone will meet our needs. We expect resolution of our internal experiences and real situations from the outside. From others. 1. We suffer because we do not find external support, a person who will solve everything and we continue to look for him. 2. We suffer because having found external support, we continue to depend on it, since we still do not get what we need. Those who become external support, also does not become one just like that. They are also often in their unconscious processes. They also have their own needs. They are also waiting. They need it too. And They use their power to satisfy, first of all, their needs. Therefore, you don’t feel full or it only happens for a short time. And you continue to suffer. And any situation that shows that needs are not being met again leads to suffering and the expectation of outside support. We wait again and again. And this process can be endless and very painful. How to get out of suffering? Notice the need. Recognize that this need is mine. And no one is ready to sacrifice their entire life to meet your need. No one should suffer, even if you really want to. Recognize that you are not ready to sacrifice your life, the life you want to live. Accept this reality. Get angry, bargain with yourself, God, grieve. (There is no such ideal person, there is no such parent, there is no higher power that will guide you in the right direction all your life and nourish you. And if there is, then the price will be high. The price is life in dependence). And Accept. Take steps towards yourself. Find strength and opportunities to meet your needs. Become stronger in the knowledge that you are capable, you can take care of yourself. Feel this resilience to cope on your own. Rely on yourself. See your desires, act towards their realization. Feel your power to manage your feelings, desires, decisions. In this way, you separate yourself from external figures (partner, parent, etc.), acquiring internal stability, support, and a whole self. And you begin to build interactions in a completely different way. You don’t want to suffer, you can live through this situation and decide how to move on. Because you know what you need and how to achieve it. You do not want the suffering of another. You come to an agreement with yourself and those around you. You find common ground.