A short introduction by the author about male sexual phobias. In order to get maximum pleasure from life, you need to have at least some minimum understanding of what that very psychology looks like love-family-intimate relationships of that same opposite sex, the name of which already contains the word “opposite”! And if you ask me how to do this, I will answer you the following: Every girl or woman who wants to create successful love, intimate and family relationships must first: - Firstly, immediately give up the expectation that men (or her own man) should think like herself (including in the field of sex, and especially in the field of sex)! That is, of course, men can sometimes think like women, they can try to understand women (at least, this sometimes seems to them), but the most correct option for women would be if they did not count on it, were realistic and firmly knew: Whether we like it or not, men’s love-sexual thinking is completely different from the similar thinking of respected girls and women. - Secondly, already knowing well that men’s ideas about love, sex and family are very significantly different from women’s (including including and specifically from your own), When starting a new love or intimate relationship, girls and women are simply obliged to have several introductory conversations with their partner about love, love relationships and sex. Otherwise, even after months of dating, they call the same words, they will put completely different meanings into them, they will be nervous because their partner does not behave the way they want, and only after years and lost relationships (and destroyed families) they still realize that they are not at all understand the man who has been there all this time. And if they don’t realize this, then they will simply consider their former beloved man a liar, a scoundrel, an insensitive monster and a scumbag (and use many other different words and expressions that are unpleasant for men).— Thirdly, respected ladies should not simplify male sexual behavior and reduce all male behavioral motives to the fact that all men only think about how to meet someone, get them into bed, then dump them and urgently start hunting for someone else. Of course, according to their genetic behavioral program, men - exactly like that. They really want a lot of girls, a lot of sex and as little responsibility as possible. However, having lived in society for many hundreds of thousands of years, obeying its laws (as they say in science, “socializing”), men already know very well that behaving exactly the way they want is very, very indecent. And with each new century of human history, they know this better and better... As a result of the fact that smart men clearly know that their natural genetically programmed stereotypes of sexual behavior run counter to social attitudes, many of them try to complicate their thinking and behavior in this way , so that the satisfaction of their sexual needs outwardly looks as if the initiative in creating love and sexual relationships... comes from the women themselves. Simply put, when deciding to create a love or intimate relationship, men, like women, are very afraid that they will be “misunderstood”, that everything will not be the way they want it and, in the end, will greatly disappoint both themselves and their friends, and everyone around them. And all these fears and fears that their hand will be pushed away, the lady will shy away from a kiss, will turn out to be very mediocre in bed, and then will still demand to continue the relationship and will be very indignant that she was abandoned (etc. etc.), are very diverse and very varied and are nothing more than male sexual phobias. That is, such men's fears and concerns about sex: - either everything will not go the way they want; - or for existingsexual desires will have to pay too high a price (months and years of relationships maintained “for the sake of appearances”, the need to support a girlfriend financially, social condemnation, criminal charges of sexual harassment, etc.) - Fourthly, ladies should give full account of their the fact that the presence of various sexual phobias in a significant number of men in real life leads to the fact that many men try to “play ahead”, lay out straws in advance in order to fall softer, and as a result they are cunning, deceitful and try in every possible way portray oneself as an innocent victim of an acute female desire “well, at least to marry someone!” And the most striking example of the manifestation of these phobias (and, accordingly, male defensive tricks) is male sexual restraint at the beginning of a love relationship. Namely, that, showing a great desire to get to know a new lady, having then met her once or twice, men then suddenly seem to fall into a kind of stupor, sharply reduce their activity and readiness for meetings, do not show sexual initiative at all and when At this point they start muttering something about how “how great it is that there are such cool girls in the world, and what a pity that something is preventing this particular relationship from developing...” And it is from here that I derive the last, fifth point:— In -Fifthly, realistic modern ladies should not think that their main problem is how to get rid of the many men who are trying to get to know them. One of the problems of modern ladies is how to make men, being active in love acquaintances, then they did not dump the entire burden of love and intimate relationships on the ladies themselves and then did not disappear anywhere! And if you agree with all five points I outlined, then you will agree with me on something global: To understand correctly what men want in a love relationship, ladies definitely need to know what they have in mind, what they are afraid of, that is, their sexual phobias. While working on this article, I wanted dear readers to: - from now on always have at hand a certain a guide to male sexual thinking; - we began to have a better idea of ​​how men think about sex; - we stopped imagining men only as sexually horny hamadryas who spend all day long thinking about how to mount someone (and preferably so that this “someone” is female...); - abandoned the simplification of male love and sexual behavior; - gained a more or less complete understanding of male phobias associated with sex and love relationships; - figured out how to timely recognize and bypass the main male tricks related to the topic of sex and the beginning of intimate relationships; - found out why their new acquaintances, even a few months after the start of a relationship, can show a certain “sexual sluggishness” and still not move on to decisive action in the field of intimacy; — learned how to correctly structure their love and sexual behavior so that men would not consider them corrupt, dissolute and unreliable, frigid nerds, etc. etc.; - mastered the art of using various kinds of feminine tricks that can help respected ladies speed up or slow down the onset of the “bed stage” in their love relationships; - learned to be more understanding and, most importantly, more tolerant of the fact that male love-intimate behavior is completely different, categorically different from the love-intimate behavior of our dear readers themselves, our lovely girls and women... Now let's read. General considerations In his work, a psychologist specializing in love and family topics, regularly observes interesting phenomenon: The very fact of starting sexual life together paradoxically often leads not to the strengthening of relationships, but to their deterioration or completedestruction. And all because most of those lonely people who are trying to create a love or sexual relationship, when communicating with psychologists, admit that attempts to establish sexual contact are perhaps the most problematic and painful moments for them in communicating with a partner .I emphasize: Not just some part, the majority! Perhaps this applies to you too. And from my point of view, this is not at all accidental! Let's take a closer look together: When the sexual relationship in a couple has already been established and has at least some history and length, various kinds of purely TECHNICAL parameters are of primary importance. For example, the following: - sexual and physiological compatibility of partners; - physical parameters of partners (their weight, endurance, general health, well-being at the time of intimate intimacy, etc.); - presence of sexual experience and knowledge of the sexual range - various types of poses and techniques. Etc. etc. But at the stage of preparation for the start of a sexual relationship or at the time of making the first contacts, the EMOTIONAL-PSYCHOLOGICAL component of the partners is much more important! Somehow: - the level of mutual trust between a man and a woman; - the degree of their respect for each other; - the presence or absence of a desire to build sexual and love relationships with a new partner, either long-term and serious, or one-time, built on the principle: received a certain sexual outlet - and goodbye; - similarities or differences in the sexual education of partners, in their idea of ​​​​what they can do both in sex in general and during the first contact with a new partner in particular; - the presence or absence of a desire to use sex as one from the forms of subordination of a partner to one’s will; - the presence or absence of readiness to obey sexual hints, requests and demands of a partner. (I highlighted the last point as the most important of all!) Etc. and so on. In simple terms, during the period of organizing and implementing the beginning of a sexual relationship with a new partner, the emotional, psychological and volitional components are clearly more important than the “technical” physical and physiological ones. And, as you know, where it’s thin, it breaks! As a result, love relationships that could so diligently develop over months and sometimes even years collapse. Unfortunately, an improperly organized beginning of a sexual relationship can ruin those love relationships that could have lasted for more than one month or even more than one year... However , whether from your personal experience or from the experience of your friends and acquaintances, you already know... From here, you will agree with me that the most UNKNOWN, and therefore the most SCARY, is the first stage - the stage of looking and trying on the first sex within the framework of new love relationships. In the end, it is the unknown that always seems to us the most dangerous, fraught with all sorts of threats, shrouded in incredible secrets and therefore causing our fears, apprehensions and those very notorious phobias that I put in the title of the article. From the point of view of assessing the degree of conflict, it is the beginning of the formation sexual relations is the most intense moment in the love epic of every couple in love. And where something is least known and most feared, there live various kinds of phobias. And since we are talking in this article specifically about those phobias associated with sex, this means: In the most paradoxical way, the most problems and fears associated with sex are precisely when sex itself seems to not exist at all! Accordingly: Among all fears and phobias, one way or another related to sex, the largest number of them manifest themselves during the period when there is no sex between partners yet. That is, if we imagine the entire number of phobias associated with sex as a percentage, then according to my According to rather rough estimates, the period when there is no sex at all between partners, or sexual relations are just beginning, accounts for approximately 80% (!!!) of all sexual phobias. And speaking of this, I want to draw your attentionto the following circumstance: Contrary to the usual ideas about sexual phobias, most often they manifest themselves not in open quarrels and conflicts, but in the fact that partners (or one of the partners) are in no hurry to create a sexual relationship with someone with whom they are friends !So, keep in mind: If you are friends with some man aged from 20 to 50 years, and after a month or two of your communication, he still does not show his male sexual activity towards you, you can not even doubt : being next to you, remembering about you early in the morning or late at night, he not only and somewhat intensely thinks about how to hint at sex to you, but also painfully struggles with one or another of his male sexual phobias. And using now words “male sexual phobias”, I want to draw your attention to three points at once: Firstly, Since in addition to their specifically female sexual phobias, respected ladies also have to fight with male ones, and men, accordingly, with female ones, it is fundamentally important that between partners had at least a minimum of patience and mutual understanding in relation to each other’s sexual phobias. Secondly, male sexual phobias have a very special character and therefore women’s knowledge of their own phobias in this case not only does not help them, but, on the contrary, worsens the possibility of being with men sexual consensus and compromise. Accordingly, thirdly, any lady who wants to create a successful love and intimate relationship with the man she likes should have a good understanding of male sexual phobias at the beginning of a relationship, and also have at least a minimum of knowledge about those tricks and tricks by which men simultaneously overcome their own phobias and drag their ladies into bed. And all this because (as we already said in the introduction) every phobia causes a sincere desire in a person to overcome it. And the method of this (in this case) male struggle with their male sexual phobias in love practice is most often the use by men of such tricks or tricks, which should simultaneously: - demonstrate to the lady that her man is not at all such a lustful male as most of those with whom she has already had to deal; - allow the man to gain time and have time to understand whether it is worth entering into an intimate relationship with this lady at all (maybe this will lead to the appearance of so many problems in life that the man does not even need!); - to force the lady to lose patience and go on the sexual offensive herself, in order to not only remove from men’s shoulders any responsibility for the emergence of these intimate relationships, but also to save the man from various kinds of that love-sexual obligation, which, in the opinion of most women (and men have a completely different opinion) should follow from the very fact that sex suddenly happened between partners! However, first things first! Now we are sequentially: - we will find out the various features of male thinking in relation to the sphere of love and intimate relationships; - we will analyze with you the most basic male sexual phobias; - we will find out what can be hidden behind male sexual restraint at the beginning of a love relationship; - we will analyze the most frequently used men sexual tricks and tricks; - we will teach our dear readers such techniques that will help them not only overcome male tricks and tricks, but also rid their men of their sexual phobias (and on this basis overcome male sexual restraint). I hope that all this will be useful to you... Now let's go in order. There are actually quite a few reasons for the appearance of male sexual phobias. Let's now name the seven most basic ones. Seven reasons for the appearance of male sexual phobias: Reason one. The male instinct of self-preservation. Men, as they should be, are most often quite risky people. However, even the most risky man, at a minimum, knows: if his lady (whom he has known for only an hour or two or at most a coupleweeks), will unexpectedly tell him that today (or always) she is completely alone and will call her to her home, this may end for him with something from the following list: - he will become a victim of scammers when the supposed husband of his new friend suddenly bursts into their house and under the threat of filing a statement with the police, he will demand money (and at the same time he may be beaten and robbed by those thugs who may already be in the apartment and pretend to be brothers who are sincerely outraged by the behavior of the guest who allegedly came to commit violence against their sister); - quick sex will end the fact that in a couple of weeks the man will begin to be blackmailed, allegedly on the fly, and extorted money for an abortion; - quick sex will end with an immediate report to the police of rape (and the used condom will be attached as evidence) and, again, extortion of money for studying at the university or buying winter clothes; - possible intimate contact with such a lady who immediately takes everyone to her home (even if she stipulates a hundred times that she is doing this for the first time...) can lead to infection with something skin-venereal, hepatitis, or AIDS in general; - while a man is having creative fun with his new girlfriend, her friends will carefully and leisurely steal his expensive car. Etc. etc. And if we take into account the fact that these various kinds of not entirely pleasant consequences of a man’s erotic visit to visit the lady of his heart are talked about almost every day both on TV and in men’s companies, it is surprising that the most cautious men behave towards their ladies (even when left alone) more than restrained, it is absolutely no longer necessary... Reason two. Male modesty. This book, according to the author’s plan, should call a spade a spade, and therefore it’s time to admit what is usually not customary to admit: No matter how respected ladies believe in it, the vast majority of guys and even adult men are openly embarrassed to make acquaintances with ladies, and show your male sexual initiative! Despite the widespread myths in society about the arrogance and assertiveness of all men without exception, who supposedly only think about how to meet someone else, and then sleep with them and leave - in fact, both at the moment of acquaintance and at the moment of the beginning of their own advances, almost all of them are seized with paralysis, a slight trembling shakes, the tongue sticks to the larynx, and all mental activity comes down to repeating two or three hastily prepared phrases. Not only are men scared They are embarrassed to approach and meet the ladies first, they always ask each other: “What should I say to them at that moment when it’s time to squeeze her well? Seryoga, tell me, what did you tell your Olga when you lured her under the covers? What should I tell my new friend when I start kissing her? Suddenly they say to me: “Leave me alone!” And then what should I do: end the relationship completely or continue communication, take the lady to the cinema one more time and try again in a couple of weeks?! And in general, this is all so offensive to pride!!! "Dear ladies may laugh at all this, but the fact remains: - due to the fact that modern society is becoming more and more feminized; - due to the fact that that women are becoming more and more socially protected; - due to the fact that a huge number of men grow up in single-parent families (most often without a father) and their mothers traditionally scold these “damned scoundrel fathers who just want to do child, and then into the bushes!”;—due to the fact that the overwhelming number of teachers in schools are women (and mercilessly scold boys who, expressing their teenage sexual sympathy, pull girls’ pigtails);—due to the fact that in European and North American culture it is becoming more and more unacceptable and indecent to molest women (and therefore there are more and more men pestering men: it’s safer!), etc. etc... So, because of all this, according to my surveys, Every seconda modern man quite sincerely considers his own sexual activity to be something very shameful, disgraceful and completely condemned by society as an activity! Imagine! What has already come to this: male sexual activity has begun to be considered something shameful not only by women (or rather, mothers of growing girls and retired grandmothers), but also by men themselves! And this is reality! Of course, this is where such male phobias arise, such as the reluctance to seem outdated and sexually preoccupied to his lady, the male fear of being denied sex altogether (etc., etc.), as a result of which many men push and pull with the first manifestations of their sexual attention, keep pulling and pulling... until the lady, tired of waiting for her cowardly modern man to do something himself, goes on the sexual offensive on his own. So if your a friend is trying his best to seem very well-mannered and correct to you, keep in mind: more often than not, he is just deliberately testing your patience and provoking you to make the first steps towards the sofa take you... (and only then he will throw away all sorts of complexes and will show you his true masculine face). Reason three. Men's fear of being deceived by an “indecent girl.” Dear ladies! Keep in mind that men also live in the world of their male legends, guided in their actions by certain attitudes that live steadily in male folklore, just like those whom they are so accustomed to hunting in the evenings on the central streets of cities. Men's misconceptions about women are an inverted mirror image of women’s misconceptions about men. So, the average man thinks something like this: “Unfortunately, almost 90% of all girls are easily accessible! They differ only in different degrees of “access to the body”: some give you on the very first evening, for more fashionable and mannered ones you need to spend two to three weeks, or even a month. But sooner or later they will still “roll off” and go to bed...” Accordingly, according to men, on average, only one out of a hundred girls is really worthy of being friends with her, loving her, taking care of her and, ultimately, create a strong family with her. And, of course, only with such a girl can and should you go out into society, without any fear that all those men who managed to sleep with her before him will wink knowingly around you... And to find such a lady, according to men, is almost impossible ... Men, just like women, drive themselves into the framework of prejudice in advance and also suffer greatly from this. But women suffer the most from the suffering and delusions of men... Men are prejudiced against all women in advance. But, in fact, they also hope for that very miracle (which will bring them together with the one and only one who will go with them through life until death...), for the belief in which they themselves are so accustomed to ridicule women. Because, according to my surveys, at least about 80% of all men aged 18 to 30 think this way; – about 60% of men aged 30 to 40; – and at least 30% of men aged from 40 to 60 years old, dear ladies should know that this feature of male thinking finds its external expression in two extremes at once: Extreme No. 1. Before moving on to seducing their new acquaintance, some men try to better understand what she is like, and sometimes become friends without sex for six months or a year. At the same time, many of these men are actively engaged in sex with those ladies whom they immediately are considered easily accessible, unreliable, and not suitable for a serious relationship, which, in fact, helps them hold on to their “erotic post” in relation to their new girlfriend, who is still “in development.” Of course, at the same time, men regularly they make mistakes and: - write down “indecent” as “decent”; - mistake “decent” for “indecent”; - and often don’t even understand thatthe concepts of “decent ladies” and “indecent ladies” are most likely not internal characteristics of women, but nothing more than a description of their behavior in relation to specific men: some women cheat, others (as long as they are promising) do not. All this depends on specific life circumstances and the presence of other more “promising” men nearby. However, all this does not change anything at all. Men all live for themselves and live in the power of their male illusions. Extreme No. 2. Many men believe that one of the best ways to test a new acquaintance’s availability is through simple rudeness and an extreme degree of sexual assertiveness. Alas, this is so... The presence of complexes in men and their lack of an elementary culture of love and marital behavior is often compensated by aggression at the time of acquaintance. Including sexual aggression... Since sexually “breaking off” already at the beginning of communication with a girl is considered very, very shameful among men, and the possibility of this cannot be completely excluded, even with outwardly sexually uninhibited female behavior, it is aggression and deliberate rudeness that carry out in men functions of a defensive reaction in case this or that girl refuses sex already on one of the first dates. The guy showed his sexual interest too straightforwardly, was rude, received silence or a sharp retraction in response, but this seemed to be not too offensive: “Like, even my very indifferent tone of address and my “hinting” conversation about sex testified that I as a man I didn’t really want to! So bye! I missed my happiness! My job was just to offer her sex! You don't want it, as you want! The light hasn't hit you like a wedge! Let's find someone simpler. Ours will still take it!” And at this point I consider it necessary to dwell once again: Deliberate male sexual rudeness is most often not at all a sign of male narrow-mindedness and preoccupation! Rather, it’s a quick test of a lady’s availability. And if a lady is able to either refuse a man in a more or less correct form, or (and this is the best option), during the first month of communication she is able to completely avoid the occurrence of such situations when a man might start pestering her, she will very successfully pass this test and, in will ultimately be able to create a completely successful love relationship. Despite the fact that women most often do not believe in it, in fact, men are very respectful of true love. Any normal guy quite sincerely and reverently desires to have a beloved female creature, whom he will take care of, give his warmth and tenderness. Moreover: Men treat with undisguised envy those who have a loyal, honest and unapproachable girlfriend. They just don't say all this out loud. They are like “not supposed to” and all that. But you and I know this! Proud men are always afraid of making a mistake and, instead of a decent girl, meeting an honest street hustler. They have a terrible complex about this and therefore try to inflict a preemptive blow on the female sex, which is precisely framed in the form of deliberate rudeness at the very moment of acquaintance. Simply put: The deliberate rudeness of men at the moment of acquaintance is nothing more than a test for a girl’s availability. The test for accessibility itself through the use of the male rudeness technique is extremely simple: - If, despite the rudeness and carelessness of a man’s treatment of her, the girl still went for an acquaintance and silently endures men’s erotic touches already on the very first evening, which means you can put more and more pressure on her. The likelihood that she decided to create this acquaintance primarily for the sake of “pure sex” and, most likely, “will give” is very high! You just need to “lubricate it” a little with a beer or cocktail. In general, this is an excellent evening option and, therefore, the man has “come to the right place.” He will immediately happily think: “They told me that all women are the same...” and rush into battle. - But if the girl is at least formonths, she will nip in the bud both male advances and vulgar jokes, she may well pass for a tough nut, she will be relegated to the category of fairly difficult to reach, and the male phobia of fear of deception from an honest giver will quietly fade away... In general, you understand: and at the moment of acquaintance , and during at least the first month of the relationship, the main task of the lady who wants to create not a short-term sexual, but a long and serious love relationship, is to be able to accomplish the almost impossible: - on the one hand, to prove her inaccessibility and force a man to make certain efforts to conquer her sexually, to make him feel like a conqueror and conqueror, to force his feeling of love to awaken, which only works in us when tangible difficulties and problems arise in love communication; - on the other hand, not to scare away that man who managed to arouse her keen interest and has already made her heart beat faster... And we will give practical advice on this matter below. Reason four. Men's fear of love and sexual commitment. In order for you to better understand this reason, we will have to compare the motives for which women meet and create new love relationships with male motives. So, the author’s observations show that the majority of girls and women are guided in their love acquaintances by the following approaches: - they avoid dating in every possible way if they are more or less satisfied with the friends and husbands they already have; - they almost never just get acquainted so, without any special purpose; - they really don’t like to get acquainted just for one evening and prefer to create long and serious relationships designed to create a family and give birth to a child from this particular man the lady likes; - they almost always clearly know what they would like to get in as a result of the appearance of a new person in their life; - they try to combine business with pleasure: sexual relations with the realization that they finally have someone in their life who will take care of them, show their attention DAILY, call, write gentle text messages, strive for more and more new meetings, provide material support if necessary, etc. and so on. (In general, a true friend and potential husband!); - going to create a sexual relationship with a new friend, a lady almost always expects that the very fact of establishing intimacy between them should lead to an immediate increase in her status in the eyes of a man, to the fact that the given relationships should blossom and blossom, right up to the creation of a family. In general, girls and women most often get to know each other using the so-called method of crowding out and increasing the prospects of their new acquaintances. Unlike men, who are capable of calling into question their long-term serious relationships (including family ones) for the sake of acquaintance with a slight sexual inclination, ladies, even if they take risks, almost always know why they are doing it. In their lives, some more successful men are gradually replacing the less successful ones. This process continues even when the girl has already gotten married and given birth to children... In total, this leads to the fact that, unlike men, who can react to almost everything that walks around them in a skirt with bare knees, ladies in their love affairs During dating, girls and women act much more carefully and carefully. Unlike men, girls and women are much more selective during dating. And the criteria by which girls choose differ markedly from the criteria by which men choose. Moreover, they are not at all opposite: they are actually just different... So, now is the time to upset dear readers. Men's motives for dating and creating love and sexual relationships are COMPLETELY DIFFERENT from women's. Unlike women, men have amazing love and sexual promiscuity! Many girls and women (especially beautiful ones and those who look good) are faced with harshreality of male infidelity, people often do not understand why men often betray those who are several times more interesting than those with whom their partners have sexual affairs. Let me explain: the concepts of beauty and grooming of their girlfriends are, of course, also very important for men. But for the implementation of the biological program for a man to create as many genetic hereditary combinations as possible, something else is much more important: that there be as many partners as possible and that they be as different as possible. And the very concept of “more different” also means that they can be completely ugly, absolutely uninteresting and surprisingly stupid. The main thing is that they are DIFFERENT and there are a LOT of them! In this sense, you should understand: In an effort to officially possess a beautiful and well-groomed girl, men simply pay tribute to social prestige. And their instincts force them to seek sex with absolutely any women! Even with very mediocre ones! If dear readers are interested in this, I inform you: having interviewed about three thousand men of different ages (from 18 to 60 years old) who admitted the fact of having mistresses, I found out the following: Firstly, the overwhelming majority of cheating men give realize that their left-wing partners are significantly inferior to their official girlfriends and wives, not only externally, but, most interestingly, even in bed! At the same time, many of the respondents realized this even before the technical formalization of the betrayal, that is, even before entering into sexual relations. Secondly, a significant part of the respondents, recognizing that the presence of left connections greatly complicates their lives, nevertheless said that they did not are able to cope with this, since the very pleasure of having several parallel sexual partners at once is much higher than the level of their anxiety about this. Thirdly, almost all men know that their leftist hobbies reduce their sexual attraction to legal wives and girlfriends , and many even experience a certain guilt complex about this. Based on these data from my survey, you should now become more clear about the incredible promiscuity of men in their love and sexual acquaintances, which always shocks women so much. is that the majority of men almost never know why they are getting acquainted, and consciously want only two things - sex and to show off their beautiful girlfriend to their friends! I emphasize: only two things - sex and to please their own vanity! Accordingly, men in their love and intimate relationships: - they almost never know what they would like to get as a result of the appearance of a new girl or woman in their life; - they are happy to get acquainted even when they are more or less satisfied with the wife or girlfriend they already have and give themselves well the report is that their new acquaintance is clearly WORSE than the lady with whom they now live or communicate; - they often get acquainted just to kill time, please their own vanity, etc. (it’s just that a pretty girl happened to be nearby!), while absolutely not wanting to create no matter how many serious and long-term relationships; - experiencing sexual desire, they regularly meet only for one evening and, if they failed to achieve what they wanted (that is, sex) the day they met or in the coming days, they immediately break off the relationship that had begun and “get lost” (which surprises girls who are just starting to get used to a man and get ready for something long and serious); - they don’t try at all to combine business with pleasure: sexual relationship with the realization that they finally have a loved one in their life - sex and only sex is enough for a more or less successful man; - going to create a sexual relationship with a new lady, a man automatically tenses up internally, because it’s good understands that after this the era of love commitment will immediately begin: he will have to regularly meet with this woman, call her, writetext messages, report why he is canceling dates, give her gifts, support her financially, etc. and so on. In any case, almost all modern men are well aware that their girlfriends themselves expect exactly this from them; when establishing a sexual relationship with a lady, a man most often wants their relationship not to change or be restructured in any way, to remain as it is (only with the addition of sex!), and his girlfriend did not bother him and was in no hurry to make plans to create a long-term relationship, civil marriage or family. Sad, right? I agree that it's sad. And this is especially sad: The main task of every modern man who has no desire to create a long-term relationship and get married is to transform a love acquaintance into a love-sexual relationship, in which the relationship between the partners does not become more complicated, and the man will happily avoid the emergence of a love obligation! Actually, this is what it revolves around the main intrigue of any love relationship: whether the lady will be able to tame her friend through sex or not! Based on this, we can say this: the success or failure of one or another love relationship that has begun depends on whether the woman manages to prove to the man that: - firstly, she is good in bed; - secondly, a man needs her not only in bed (the lady looks good, has an education and a job, is a good housewife, responsible, loves children, is not prone to cheating, etc.); - thirdly, all the past years the man lived completely unappreciated by those around him, and only when he began to communicate with this girl or woman was he truly appreciated by her... (And other ladies clearly cannot do this!). However, all this already a lyrical digression. Now the main thing is for you to understand: One of the most important reasons for male sexual phobias is the acute reluctance of men to rebuild their behavior under the pressure of those various factors of female hopes and love obligations that arose from a decent woman, the man realized that he was truly appreciated by his sexual partner. (and they happily grab onto the one who and only because he has established a sexual relationship with someone there! Precisely in order to successfully evade everything that women and men who are sincerely delighted at the appearance of a friend hang on them:– they delay the start of sexual relations; they leave women after the first intimate relationship; they are generally cunning in exactly the same way as I will describe later in this book. Reason five: Men’s fear of wasting time on bad sex. The fifth reason for the emergence of male sexual phobias is fear in vain. lose a lot of that useful life time that could have been spent by this man on his career, business, sports, hobbies, communication with friends, parents or family (the latter for married men), but as a result was spent on such a girl or woman who, being outwardly very attractive and able to conduct an interesting conversation, at the same time... she ended up in bed completely unsatisfactory for her partner. Busy and successful men are very afraid that the loss of personal time communicating with this or that lady will not be compensated for by good sex. I emphasize : not just sex, but good sex! And here, too, lies another serious problem in relations between men and women. Women believe that men owe them something for the very fact that a woman agrees to have sexual relations with them. However, men refuse to respect women simply for sex and respect them only for very good, active and varied sex. And we’ll talk more about what men mean by “good sex” in this book... First of all, in Chapter 32, “Quarrels over sex.” Reason six. Men's fear of looking bad in bed. Another cause of various male phobias is men's fear of looking bad in bed. Simply put, men are very afraid that because of their fatigue from work, illness, poor health or mood (for example, from lack of money), this trait of theirssexual physiology as a long period of getting used to a new partner (etc., etc.), they: - either will not be able to come into a fighting state and generally perform sexual intercourse; - or will not be able to bring their new partner to orgasm and thus they will admit to their sexual limitations and ineptitude; - either they will not be able to impose on their new friend their ideas about what and how they should do in bed; - or they will not be able to accept certain female sexual rules of the game, they will break into conflict and ultimately be left without sex in general...And since sex for a man is not only a sphere of obtaining sensual pleasure (and not at all a manifestation of his highest trust in a partner, like women!), but also a sphere of increasing his self-esteem, any unsuccessful sexual debut is equal to the hardest blow for a man self-esteem. That is why (because of this phobia) men tend to delay sex for a long time, or at least try to understand as much as possible what is in their girlfriends’ heads and, to test them, tell them dirty jokes, offer to watch erotica together, discuss erotic dreams, and they themselves are all painfully thinking and wondering whether something will work out in bed for them or not... Reason seven. Fear of becoming dependent on a friend. A man is known to be an owner. When she meets him, the girl (in the man’s opinion) automatically turns into his thing. In this case, it is very important for a man to know two things: - firstly, that his new acquisition became such voluntarily, a newly acquired girlfriend no longer looks at male competitors and will never run away to them; When meeting, a man expects that his girlfriend will “swear allegiance to him “to be faithful”, somehow guarantees that all other men on Earth have lost all relevance for her. - secondly, that this man himself, for some time, still retains some kind of independence and has the right to act, as he pleases. Of course, all this is funny and naive at the same time: the man wants his new girlfriend to “build up” in front of him, but at the same time he himself retains his complete (including sexual) autonomy! True, it's funny. And it would be simply funny if not for one thing: the men themselves sincerely believe that this is possible! Accordingly, many men are either in no hurry to create intimate relationships with women, or try to ensure that the initiative for their creation comes from the women themselves (at the request of workers!). And in this case, men would not owe women anything and would continue to live and walk for themselves the way the notorious “cats that walk on their own” do... This is our most general overview of the basic elements of male psychology of love and intimate relationships, their psychology love acquaintances, THE REASONS FOR THE ARISE OF THEIR SEXUAL PHOBIAS. Now we have examined only seven main reasons. But, as you understand, in fact there are not seven of them at all and (as I suspect) not even twenty-seven, but much more! And in this sense, there is only one consolation: most of male sexual phobias are still completely surmountable! Oh, how surmountable I have written a whole book! It’s called: “Men’s sexual fears, tricks and tricks at the beginning of a love relationship.” If you are too lazy to read it all, you can familiarize yourself with it selectively, through the articles I posted on the site. But regardless of whether you read it or not, I immediately warn you: Success in the game is most often achieved not by the one who knows its rules well, but by the one who, in addition to this, also pretends well that he doesn’t know them at all ...Remember how professional card sharpers work... They always pretend to be like this, knowing nothing, and therefore winning by accident, again by accident, and for the third time in a row, again completely by accident... (And they leave, by the way, with fat wads of money in your pockets!) So that’s why I’m saying all this: I’m saying this because you don’t need to do anything from the list I just listed! You don't need at least onereason: if you sit down with someone to play cards and tell them that you are a top-class master, then, most likely, either no one will play with you at all, or they will play so warily that it will be much more difficult for you to win the game ...It’s the same in love and family relationships: if you do such a stupid thing and constantly say that you already know everything about men and understand everything about them, this will most likely lead to the fact that this relationship will end with your a complete failure! And this despite the fact that you will actually know everything! Everything except that you should NEVER declare your knowledge publicly. Especially to your man... Based on all this, let's clearly understand: The best way to play along with men is to pretend that you don't even know the rules by which they play! By using the words “play along with men” in this case, I do not mean at all it has some kind of offensive meaning for men or women. And I certainly don’t mean what girls and women are always afraid of: that they will again “have to dance on their hind legs in front of these damned, drunken and insolent men”! You just need to understand: in order for a certain couple to be able to create a more or less successful love relationship, in fact, BOTH PARTIES should be interested IMMEDIATELY - both the man and the woman! When a man plays along with a woman, and a woman plays along with a man, in reality in fact, they play along, first of all, to themselves! So I categorically advise you: do not rush to inform your friend in one way or another that you already more or less imagine how he thinks, how he makes decisions and through what tricks and tricks he tries cope with your male sexual phobias! Don’t rush, also because your rash statements can bring to life another for the time being dormant genie - the male sexual phobia that he (the man) is a puppet in the hands of his girlfriend, he is a follower, he is nothing more than a doll in the hands of an experienced puppeteer who knows perfectly well when and by what strings she should pull her Pierrot. And practice shows: The vast majority of men show a willingness to abruptly and completely end those love relationships in which he does not feel his leadership at all. And I personally do not recommend checking whether your friend is one of them or not! the following follows: The success or failure of the development of a love relationship depends, among other things, on how quickly and competently the lady helps her man overcome his existing sexual phobias. Of course, I understand that some female readers will now be indignant: “That’s what this male author is like.” ! This is how he masterfully plays along with his fellow sexes! Not only do we suffer all our lives because of men, not only do we have our own sexual phobias, but we also have to help them overcome their own fears! No way! Let them deal with them themselves...” So, I’ll immediately tell those who think this way the following: in order for a girl or woman to be able to successfully build a love relationship with the man she likes, she needs to do only five things. Five things , which should be done by a lady who wants to be successful in relationships with men: Thing one. A lady must stop considering sex as a means of achieving her love and family goals! That is, a lady must give up the illusion that by entering into a sexual relationship with a man she is providing him with such an unthinkable service, for which he must now wear her for the rest of his days. hands and be sure to marry her. (Of course, if a man is from 16 to 30 and he behaves (or looks!) in such a way that none of the ladies wants to be friends with him, he may well offer his hand and heart to the one who first perceived him as a man. However, as practice shows, such marriages are rarely viable.) Of course, a woman’s outstanding sexual abilities in combination withher lack of moral prejudices can help her find a love-sexual sponsor and solve her career or financial problems. However, I emphasize: modern ladies must stop considering sex as a means of achieving their love and family goals! Precisely love and family! Everyone else, including career and financial ones, can decide through sex, but they can’t create successful and, most importantly, long-lasting and happy family relationships ONLY thanks to sex! If you don't believe me and want to try it, please try it! It's up to you...Thing two. A lady should have a good idea of ​​how a man perceives love and family relationships and must understand his sexual phobias. And I hope that this book will help you with this...Thing three. Ladies should treat male sexual phobias without smiles, sarcasticity or indignation. And if respected ladies cannot do this (even after reading this chapter), then, in any case, they should not express it out loud or in general in their behavior. Otherwise, as I said in this chapter, they will simply scare away their men...Thing four. Ladies should help their men overcome their sexual phobias. And this is done more than simply. Having started communicating with a new man, ladies should: - demonstrate in every possible way their sincere desire to communicate with this particular man (at least thank him for a well-spent evening); - specifically agree on a new date (down to the minutes!) even when not the current date has ended; - give the man maximum information not only about yourself (everything except information about your personal and intimate past!), but also about what kind of relationship you would like to create and how exactly your friend should behave, according to your ideas about life, sex, love and marriage; - do not make those behavioral mistakes that I have described in more or less detail throughout this book. So you see, everything is simple: The easiest way to help a man overcome his sexual phobias is not to create preconditions for their occurrence! And, it seems to me, every lady can easily learn this. Fifth thing. The lady must convince her friend that he really needs her for something! Most often, a man goes to create a serious relationship and family only when the lady proves to him that he really needs her to solve at least two or three problems from the following list: - for good sex; - for the birth of healthy children; - for solving economic problems - everyday problems (eating and washing); - to strengthen and increase male self-esteem (the lady praises the man all the time and tells him that everyone around him does not value him (and only uses him for their own selfish purposes), but it is she who appreciates... (and still doesn’t use it at all));— so that a man can please his vanity and brag to everyone around him that his girlfriend is the most beautiful;— for successfully running a business together;— for solving career, housing or material problems ( this is the case if the lady (or her parents) is rich, and the man is inclined to be a gigolo or generally solve his problems at someone else’s expense). At the same time, I emphasize: in order to start making friends, it is enough for at least one point (same sex!), but in order for a man to create a serious relationship and family, it is necessary that there be at least two or three of them, and preferably all five... And the increase in the number of these points is precisely precisely in women's competence! That is, specifically in yours! Here are these five things... As you can already see, all of them are not at all complicated, not scary, and quite feasible for respected ladies. And if all this is so, it means that you can overcome the negative factor of male sexual phobias and create more or less successful love and family relationships with the man you like! And therefore, away from women’s love and marriage pessimism! Long live love and marital optimism! Successful hunting season):+7-902-990-5168, +7-913-520 -001, +7-926-633-5200.