At least once in our lives we all broke up with someone. This could be in youth, or maybe it’s a divorce after many years of family life together. During a separation, a person goes through different phases: Denial. Aggression. Anger.Bargaining. During this time, people experience guilt and shame. Depression. A state of loneliness, abandonment. Acceptance or transition to a chronic form. Previously, working with separation or loss had a time frame. Now a psychologist works with the phases of grief, and not when (in which phase a person should be now). Psychologists and friends can provide support in going through the separation process. Parents perceive failures in their children’s personal lives as their own. The mother of one client told her daughter: “I cry every evening. Because my daughter divorced her husband.” The work at different stages during separation is different. And it can’t be solved in one session. An example from practice. Natalya, twenty-nine years old, came for a consultation (name changed, permission received). They had known their husband for seven years, been married for five years, and had no children. For many years, in fact from the very beginning of their marriage, Natalya tried to be a good wife, but she could not please her husband. Gradually I realized that they had nothing to talk about, they had no common plans, everyone lived their own lives. And even sex disappeared from their lives. All attempts to talk and discuss ended either in a scandal or her husband insulted her. Natalya decided to get a divorce. But at the same time, she felt sorry for the time and effort she put into the relationship. She felt abandoned, unaccepted and misunderstood. As she put it: “Smeared.” Natalya said that her future husband at the beginning of the relationship was very attentive, gentle, and caring. He looked after her very nicely. She herself was cheerful and happy, loving. Her friends were jealous of her. And for the first time after the wedding, she experienced these feelings. In response, she surrounded her husband with care and attention. Natalia presented her feelings in the form of pearls. She didn’t want to leave them to her husband or lose them just like that. She imagined her ex-husband, and next to her were her pearls, which she took. Then we worked with a feeling of abandonment, rejection. Natalya, remembered how once her mother came to pick her up at kindergarten very late. She was the last one left, and even the teacher went home. Then she felt abandoned, forgotten, unnecessary. Then Natalya, an adult, approached this girl. She spoke to her, told her those very important words that she then needed to hear. And she accepted it. I described only part of the work with the client. At different stages of separation, the work is done differently. The article reveals only some points in the work, without replacing the work itself with a psychologist. You can get a consultation by making an appointment by phone number 8 903 373 36 00 (Whats App )