From the author: Read other articles about self-development on the website “Love yourself, finally!” Do you often hear such a tempting offer? It comes out of my mouth with enviable regularity))) After which I always hear an exclamation: “how?!” And I would be glad to share the secret, but it’s not that simple. Besides, hand on heart, my path to self-love was not at all easy, I can’t even say with confidence that at the moment I’m even approaching the middle. But meanwhile, I managed to achieve some success, together with smart men and women psychologists. I will try to share with you. First, let's think together about what we usually do when we love someone. I immediately have the following options: - we devote time and attention - we take care - we pamper - we notice only the good Soooo. Now honestly, how much of this do you give to yourself? These things are an excellent marker of your attitude towards yourself. And if we somehow manage to pamper ourselves from time to time, then with the other points, usually, everything is more complicated. What to do? The first thing you need to learn in this difficult matter of self-acceptance is that to love is a verb. Do you understand? To love means to do. I don’t think it will be a secret to anyone that the more we spend energy, time and other resources on something or someone, the more attached we become and fall in love. It is possible to develop love in yourself, but in our case we just need to remember what it is like to love ourselves. Obviously, we haven't always put ourselves second (if not further). When we were little, everything was different. And the whole world existed for us, we were loved and we loved ourselves. But over time, positive confirmation of our uniqueness becomes less and less, and some people receive confirmation of the opposite: “she’s fat,” “his ears are too big,” “he’s stupid,” and so on and so forth. Further, and by adulthood, we come with a whole list of what is wrong with us, why my own desires and interests are not so important and why I am not worthy of it. That's it, turn off the lights. Then we begin to bring thousands of complexes into the world, and it responds to us, like an echo, with even greater confirmation of this. So, you either need to “rewind” life back and “erase” all experiences, which is what psychologists usually do, and sometimes you really can’t cope without it. Or you can simply understand that the past is in the past and if you were laughed at because of your nose throughout your childhood, then, firstly, it does not mean that it is true, and secondly, that it has any meaning at all. Well, after that, start taking care of yourself, like a guy takes care of a girl, and fall in love with your beautiful self again. And now point by point. Notice only the good. Just take it, open a new document or just a blank sheet of paper and write yourself a list of what is good in you. I…. beautiful, smart, wonderful From experience I can say that some people’s personal qualities “sag”, some people’s appearance, or all of them together. That is, if you are terribly happy with your body, this does not mean that self-love has happened. Love for the body - probably. But this is already a lot! This already means that you understand how to deal with everything else. So, let's make a list. Minimum 21 points. If it doesn’t work out, then start like this: “I happen...” and again the list. Those. Let's say you are not at all happy with your character, but you understand that sometimes you can be funny, interesting and amazing. Write like that. Well, now, we hang it in a frame on the wall and re-read it every day, in the morning, for a month. You need to train your brain to notice the positives in you. It’s always easier to concentrate on the negative, that’s how we are designed. But everything can be learned and learned. Therefore, start training your mind the same way you train your body (you do that, right?). Pamper Well, everything is clear here. Stop saving on yourself! Why can you easily buy an expensive toy for your child to please him, but you can’t buy yourself an extra dress to please yourself? Why do you eat burnt!