Author: Vitaly Pichugin Source: http://www.nlplife.ru/ Do you know why a camel doesn’t eat cotton wool? He doesn't want to. Why is it difficult to negotiate with many people? They don't want to, they just don't want to. You can motivate them for a long time, use various negotiation schemes and tricks. It’s no use, you need a gun to make them even want to hear you. What to do? First, understand whether a person fundamentally wants to negotiate or not. He wants or wants when: 1. He needs something from you. 2. At first he doesn’t need anything from you, but you know how to interest him. 3. He doesn’t need anything from you, you have nothing to interest him with, he just decided to take care of you out of the kindness of his heart. Such strange options also occur.4. You have a gun and you hold it to your negotiating partner's head. Is this not your option? If the above conditions are absent, then it is quite possible that the person simply does not want to negotiate. There may be good reasons for negotiations, but this does not mean that at the same time there is a desire to conduct them. Analyze the situation, think and ask yourself questions: 1. What does the negotiating partner want? Does he want anything at all? 2. What can you offer that will interest you? Does he need it? 3. Is it worth starting negotiations at all? Under what conditions can this be done? Often, a “cannot agree” situation arises when trying to communicate with government officials. Officials don’t need you unless you pay bribes or kickbacks, which is basically the same thing. What else might you be interested in? Criticize the work of officials on your blog? If you are not the most popular blogger, then it is generally useless, if you are very popular, then 98% of the time it is simply useless. They will also be offended and file a lawsuit for protection, honor, dignity and business reputation. And most likely, they simply won’t notice. • What kind of negotiations with officials? Bring the money, yes. Just like with officials, it can be difficult to negotiate with children. If a child is playing, he is having a good time, toys are scattered throughout the house, then your complaints about collecting the toys are absolutely not interesting to the little robber. You can, of course, interest him, but the more you interest him, the less motivation he will have to clean up after himself next time just like that. He will expect new gifts and “interesting things” from you for the work that he should do on his own, for free and without reminders. The child doesn’t want to put away his toys, but wants to play, and he doesn’t need any negotiations. Like in a joke. - What is your boy yelling about, what does he want? - He wants to yell! It is not always necessary to negotiate with officials and children. Having realized that they simply don’t want to, find other ways to solve your current problems and act as you need. For example. I wanted to put a satellite dish on the roof of my house. A small plate, screwed to a brick wall, does not bother anyone. The head of the local housing administration requested a certificate that the antenna does not emit anything. Okay, I got it and brought it. Then he requested certificates, permits, access to the roof from elevator operators, and a bunch of other small approvals. I realized that I would be tortured to negotiate with him. I took the wire cutters, opened the lock on the roof, and invited specialists installed the satellite dish in accordance with all the requirements and rules. After which I bought a new lock, made several keys, closed the roof, and gave the keys to the elevator operators, who should keep them. The plate is still working properly, no one has any questions. • If they don’t want to negotiate, do as you need. This rule does not always work and not in all situations. But when possible, it is better to do this than to conduct fruitless negotiations with those who simply do not want to come to an agreement. It's about the same with children. Let your child know that you have some rules that need to be followed. To all protests, confidently declare that this is how we do it. Not immediately, but gradually, the child will understand that since it is accepted, it means it is necessary. Children happily run towards the wall, which is rude to them.".