The main stages of the formation of friendships and the first trials that friends face, “Where do childhood friends disappear. Part 1”, discussed in the first part of the article, smoothly lead us to the next series of life situations that are of even greater significance and influence on friendly relationships. If the test stage associated with the appearance of your friend’s girlfriend or your friend’s boyfriend was successfully completed, then at the next stage adaptation actively occurs. It allows you to rethink the new reality and make adjustments. You can't see your old boyfriend/girlfriend as often as before because there is a "third" person in your relationship. But nevertheless, if we are talking about true friendship, he or she will definitely find time to see each other. Yes, this will happen much less often, but communication will still continue. As a rule, during such meetings quality is not lost, but quantity suffers mainly. If you simultaneously found and began dating your soul mates, there may be a mutual understanding of the situation: different times have come, priorities have changed a little. The next point: “Can a “soulmate” completely replace friends?” - in a sense, the question seems to be uncomfortable. On the one hand, a loved one can indeed satisfy a sufficiently large number of needs so as to practically crowd out the inner circle of friends. However, I sincerely believe that this is impossible, but even if this happens, then someone else’s evil will creeps in and wants this. Ask yourself a simple question: “Why should you stop communicating with a friend/girlfriend with whom you feel good?” Even if you feel just as good with your “other half,” why can’t you multiply these pleasant feelings from communication by continuing to exchange them with friends? Many will say that this is a matter of priorities, and they will be partly right, but I have the following hypothesis that shows the deeper reasons, and it lies in the issue of resources. The resource approach helps explain the changes that are taking place. Look carefully, do your “missing friends” have the right amount of resources? As a rule, this is a TIME RESOURCE and a STRENGTH RESOURCE. To test this hypothesis, remember your energetic friends. Please note that even being family men, they manage to find the energy and time to see the people who are truly important to them from their circle of friends. At the same time, another resource source called “DESIRE” finds itself in an awkward position. The excellent expression that “if there is a desire, but time and energy will be found,” is very often reflected in the plane of love relationships, when lovers for the sake of They find time and energy for each other if they really want to see each other or do something. I wrote about the inconvenient position of this resource because, in this case, it turns out that it is primary in relation to the resources of time and effort. This is not a very pleasant thought, even for myself, writing this article, hinting that everything comes down to a lack of desire. But let’s further understand the situation. The big milestone in all subsequent events in communication with friends is the wedding and the birth of children. There is even a legendary phrase about this: “There was a boy and there is no boy.” With the arrival of a new family member, the resource of time and energy becomes even more relevant. What makes friends disappear without a trace? The answer lies in the type of activity. Please note that almost all friendly activities are based on relaxation and pleasant pastime, while the appearance of children entails a number of changes in activities related to more pressing matters, for example, raising heirs. It’s trite, but you may simply not have the energy left for entertainment, but you shouldn’t forget that relaxing with friends is sometimes quite an energy-consuming activity. This quite obvious thing is said for the purpose of: +7 988 973 72 62