❓ Let's talk about relationships In sessions with my clients, I quite often come across such a person’s description of his experiences in a relationship as: “I feel that something wrong is happening, but It’s not clear what exactly.” Or a person cannot understand, “what happens to him in a relationship - is this normal?”, “Where is it - is this normal in a relationship?”, “And what is normal? And so on and so forth. “I don’t understand where my boundaries are” is also a fairly common message. Often such experiences are associated with the fact that a person is distant from his needs and from his feelings. And, of course, his boundaries, namely, how other people can behave with him, and how not, he does not quite feel and does not understand. Even this one question about the “norm” and “not the norm” in a relationship is already enough diagnostic A person who is in touch with his needs and feelings will not ask such a question. It simply will not arise for him, since such a person relies on himself, his internal norms, his feelings, his sensations. It has its own coordinate system. Yes, it can change, but there is no feeling of “inner emptiness”, “lack of support inside”, etc. The same is with feelings and emotions. A person may feel tension and that he is “somehow not very good”, “not comfortable”, but may not recognize his feelings. Emotions are our beacons, signals about whether our needs are being met or whether our boundaries are being violated. Anger, for example, is a signal of just this: both an unsatisfied need and violated boundaries. And if a person does not recognize this anger as anger or suppresses it, then we get “something wrong is happening,” and what exactly is not clear. Also, for the people around a person, his emotions are the same signal “this is how it is with me.” I can’t”, “you did something that I don’t like.” So what to do with this feeling of “something wrong is happening” and the search for the “norm”? Go to therapy, the tasks of which are to introduce a person to himself, help him discover his needs and learn to satisfy them, legalize his emotions and feelings. And then the question about boundaries, the norm and “something is wrong” will not appear so often. My TG channel: https://t.me/berdnikova_psy Join us!