Whoever enters without knocking will fly out without a sound - a teenage rhyme-announcement. Teenagers put them on the door of their room or wards in a summer camp. Sometimes they hang a sign on the door taken from the hotel: “do not disturb.” The teenager still lives in his parents’ house, but already indicates boundaries, separation, the right to personal space, if you want to cross the border of which you need to ask permission. Or a hotel sign on the door notifies whether it is worth knocking at all. If in the family the teenager’s boundaries are respected, everything ends with various “signposts”. If it is difficult for parents to accept the presence of territorial (and, in fact, personal) boundaries of their grown-up child, “door wars” begin - cutting and dismantling of locks by different participants in the events. For me, closed doors to the rooms of family members are normal and good. (I'm not talking about the rooms of preschoolers who need constant supervision) It's great when people have the opportunity to have privacy not only in the toilet. I've simplified everything, of course. there is a parents’ bedroom with its own door taboos, a living room, the doors of which may not be closed except for certain situations, discussions, conversations not intended for children’s ears. Unseparated people living in symbiotic relationships are frightened by closed doors inside the apartment. Why? It’s hard for them to be in solitude - for them it’s not solitude, but severe loneliness, they need to at least see another person constantly. The question is whether others want to be constantly visible. The need to knock on a teenager’s door causes some difficulties. A teenager can say from behind the door: not now. And if a person is hurt by rejection, it will hurt him. I really sympathize with those who live in cramped conditions. Families where it is precisely for this reason that it is difficult to differentiate territorially. I lived quite comfortably for the first twenty years of my life in a large St. Petersburg communal apartment. I knew no other life and no other comfort. Everything suited me, except that I could never be alone at will. Except for the bathroom and toilet, but you won’t stay there for long in a communal apartment. So I wish everyone: healthy and flexible boundaries. Do you have problems with boundaries? Call 8-921-919-85-59, I advise in person and online