How can you not worry? How often do we worry? And again and again we ask this question: “How can we not worry?”, and yet we step on the rake again and again. Oddly enough, the solution always lies in contact, a clear, conscious action. Ask for forgiveness, define a position, express dissatisfaction. As soon as something like this happens, the situation changes, we see the reaction of the other side and the situation becomes clearer on its own - we don’t need to think anything through. But when we don’t make contact, we do the same thing - “think it through”, sending ourselves into the world of dreams and fairy tales, where anxiety and worry make us defenseless on any side. But the fact is that this state, a state of anxiety, is unbearable, this is the very state when we do not know where the danger will come from. Therefore, we are forced to constantly strain and think, listing the most incredible scenarios for the development of events (we scare ourselves). At this moment, clarification or action will remove this very anxiety and, at least, show whether there is anything to be afraid of at all or perhaps not. It would seem easy to write/say, just try this very action. You are right, it is not easy, on the way to this “simple” action we are stopped by fear, “how they will look at us,” “how they will perceive us,” “will they send us away,” and of course embarrassment, “they will treat us disrespectfully.” All this is a kind of dependence on other people, into which we unconsciously place ourselves and pay for it with that same anxiety and excitement. Meanwhile, only one person should determine our state, it is ourselves. As soon as we realize and accept this, it will be much easier to “close” situations with anxiety and excitement. “Accidentally at 8 in the morning, I dialed “call” the child’s teacher. I canceled it, but the call will remain in the phone’s memory. And, “it has begun,” I think, I’m worried. And how can I now convince myself to forget and not get upset? I understand that these are little things, but it’s so awkward! I’ve been suffering all day.” “Close” the situation yourself, write him an SMS: “Sorry, I typed it by mistake this morning!” Each situation is “closed” by an action, either yours or the other party’s. If you do nothing, of course, you worry and wait for action from the other side, thereby “sending” yourself to depend on this person. Therefore, in order not to think, not to fuss, not to depend on someone, the action must be yours. (Unless of course you like to suffer). PS I invite you, consultation, supervision https://www.b17.ru/algorpsy/ Psychodynamic group April 27, at 11.00 https://www.b17.ru/trainings/online_psychodynamic_group/