From the author: About the benefits of I-statements for those who want to improve the quality of their life. Many people are familiar with conflict situations when the time comes for mutual accusations, which are accompanied by pronouns such as “You” , or “You”: “You only think about yourself,” “You never listen to me,” etc. This, of course, does not lead to anything good. But the fact is that many conflicts that arise in a family or relationship can be prevented using a fairly simple formula of I-statements, or I-messages, which are an excellent prevention of conflict situations. We can say that this is the basis of healthy communications. And from a psychological point of view, this is simply more competent. A person who speaks about himself and to himself takes responsibility for his feelings and emotions - this is useful in education when a child learns to identify and express his own feelings, puts him in a position of responsible choice, nurturing responsibility. Draws a boundary between himself and his communication partner, creating space for healthy relationships. A person who uses I-statements develops his emotional intelligence, which contributes to a more nuanced understanding of the situation and the state of other people. When this is done naturally and congruently, it is pleasant to communicate with such people, they are charming. Unexpressed or suppressed feelings create tension, in especially severe cases leading to psychosomatic diseases. The ability to identify and express your emotions allows you to reduce the level of tension, stress and, as a result, leads to good health and mood. For many, this causes difficulties - often clients, when asked about feelings, talk about their thoughts and a psychologist can help in understanding themselves and their own feelings , distinguish the nuances of experiences, and express them both through gestures, posture and facial expressions, and in verbal communication with other people. Of course, there is a certain ethics and it would be strange to talk about your feelings to a stranger in line with the doctor or your boss at a meeting. There are situations that are more appropriate for this - for example, personal communication situations, family relationships. You should not use I-messages for various kinds of manipulations with feelings of guilt and provocations, otherwise the whole meaning is lost and the outcome becomes a little predictable. I-statements are constructed according to a very simple scheme: 1. Objective description of the situation (without judgments or emotions)2. Identification and expression of feelings3. Wishes (constructive proposal) For example, let's take this situation: the child did not make the bed. The options may be different: You are a slob like your father, you don’t care that I’m tired, you only think about yourself. In this case, you can see assessment, labeling, mind reading, etc. What is typical is that both feel bad after this. Or you can say, following the diagram: 1. When I come home after work and see an unmade, rumpled bed - 2. I feel irritation, because I'm tired 3. Please fill it up and do it on time next time (let's do it together). Another example: You never listen to me - 1. When I talk about what is important to me, and you are busy with your smartphone at that time 2. I feel unpleasant 3. please be more attentive to what I say (give me know that you can hear me). Thus, the benefits of this form of expression and the advantages that flow from it become obvious. You can and should use I-statements even more often: when something good happens and you experience pleasant feelings, tell your loved ones about it. Take care of your needs and feelings, be healthy!