Unfortunately, mothers raising a child alone often do not think about whether they are raising him correctly. The main problem in such families is that the mother does not actually raise the child - she creates a family with him. Their relationship, presented as an adult partnership, is actually, on her part, an attempt to replace her absent husband. I am always very alarmed when, coming to an appointment, such mothers tell me how independent, economical, and a “real man” her son is. And this “man”, in essence, is deprived of his childhood, and moreover, often of his future independent life. Such “mama’s boys” do not get married not out of immaturity, but because, in fact, they already have a woman; all that remains is to find a mistress. But fortunately, there are also more mature mothers who, while raising a child alone, see him as – the child, without trying to solve your personal problems at his expense. But there are a lot of pitfalls here too. A man, raising his son, does not imagine what he will be like, but simply teaches and passes on to him everything that he owns. The mother does not have such an opportunity, and she begins to raise the child based on her own idea of ​​​​the ideal man. But, unfortunately, the ideal always arises not from nowhere, but from our unfulfilled needs. So it turns out that someone is raising a protector, someone is henpecked, someone is a guardian. The program for the future is instilled by the mother from early childhood. These are fleetingly thrown phrases that remain in memory at the subconscious level and determine the child’s further behavior. Women with high levels of anxiety, who are afraid of loneliness, can tell their sons: “Now I take care of you, and when you grow up, you will take care of me...”, “I know you are a good son, you will never leave me. ..”, “Even when you get married, you won’t forget me...”. Such messages actually guarantee the receipt of eternal bachelors who will live with their mother until her death. Another, correct message is addressed by the mother, who says: “You will grow up, you will have your own family - a wife, children... If I can, I will I will help you... If you can, and if I need it, you will help me...” Such messages enable the child to have a “life plan” independent of his mother, where he is assigned the role of an independent mature person. And yet, organize a male society for the boy. By spending time with your male friends, neighbors or relatives, looking closely at them, the boy will be able to try on masculine character traits..