From the author: Some women, having become mothers, find that they are tired of constant communication with their children. These women find it difficult to give warm love to a child because they themselves did not receive it when they were little girls. They themselves had “cold” mothers. The article will help to understand the reasons for such situations and provide ways to discover natural motherhood. The well-known truth is: our children are a reflection of ourselves. In my practice as a family psychologist, this manifests itself in the fact that some women, having become mothers, find that they are tired of constant communication with their children. Moreover, they admit that it is easier for them to communicate with a child as with an adult (talk with him on various topics, educate him, play educational games, etc.). But these mothers do not feel the need to caress the child, speak tender words to him, sing lullabies... If the child is naughty, such a mother will talk to him (patiently or irritably), but will not realize that the child wants warmth and tenderness: to be taken in his arms, kissed him, said that he was the most beloved... It is difficult for these women to give warm love to a child, because they themselves did not receive this when they were little girls. They themselves had “cold” mothers. What to do if you recognize yourself in these lines, and at the same time want to experience the happiness of motherhood? How can you find unlimited amounts of love, warmth, and joy within yourself? If you have a conscious desire to have a child, then you need to prepare for the role of a parent. I don’t mean household preparation (renovating a future children’s room, buying a stroller, crib, children’s clothes, etc.), but preparing your soul! We will have to give the child what we ourselves were not given in childhood - which means we risk unknowingly entering the role of our own “unwarm” parents, and making our children unhappy, nervous, sick... To prevent this from happening, we need to change our internal images so that our “external” interaction with the child becomes much better than it was with our “unkind” parents with us. This is where an ancient spiritual practice can help us get in touch with our “inner mom” and “inner dad” in order to accept and heal them. Keep in mind, if you get in touch with your “inner parents” and “heal” them, then you will A limitless source of unconditional love and happiness will open up to you. The flow of this light, this love will begin to flow through you, washing away and taking with it all the grievances, difficulties and problems. And since we are always emotionally connected to our children, when we change, they also automatically change (they begin to react to us differently). Thanks to the proposed practice, you can create the prerequisites for true love and mutual understanding with your future or real children . HEALING YOUR INNER PARENTS Lie down or sit so that you are comfortable. Imagine a healing white-golden light coming at you from above. Imagine and feel that all the muscles of your head, arms, torso, and legs are gradually relaxing. Your breathing is calm and even. The body is in the most comfortable position. Imagine yourself in a place where you alone felt at peace, joy and happiness. Perhaps this is the place where you were happy as a child. Perhaps on the seashore or in the forest, on the lawn... if you haven’t actually had such a place, imagine it. While in a place of happiness, look around you and see (imagine) something unusual: an amazing pebble, a straight doorknob in a tree or a green button in a rock... Imagine that you press it... or wave some object... and a door to the land of Magic opens in front of you. You enter this door and know that you are completely safe, that here you are - wizard/sorceress. Everything is possible here! You can communicate with objects, animals, people, magical creatures and deities. This is a world of goodness and love, so everything is done here in mutual agreement. While in a magical land, call yourthe inner mother is its visible, visible manifestation. See (imagine) how an image of a woman or something abstract appears before your mind's eye. Sincerely and openly accept any spontaneous manifestation of your inner mother. Perhaps this is a reflection of your real mother. Take a closer look at this image and feel its meaning for yourself. Consider all the details. Notice what emotions arise in you. Start communicating with her. Listen to what your inner mother wants to tell you. Accept her message, which may come in the form of words, feelings, images or symbols. You can tell her now everything that you didn’t dare to say before (for example, about grievances, dissatisfaction, misunderstanding, irritation), release the tension that has accumulated over the years... You can ask her any question. Listen to what she will answer you... Perhaps she could not show her love to you otherwise. She did it the best she could... the way her mother treated her as a child... She had no other way of love... Accept and forgive her, no matter what she was... 6. Ask what she would like to ask, wish for you. Try to fulfill any desire of your inner mother. Stay in touch with your inner mother until you feel the conversation is over. Imagine how magical power comes from your gaze. Surround the image of your inner mother with a stream of light, love and joy and fill her with the qualities that she lacks (imagine them appearing). Thank your inner mother and say goodbye to her. 7.Now call on your inner father. Let his image appear before you here and now. See how he appears to you. Perhaps this is an image of your real father or something abstract. Explore this image in great detail. Notice how he makes you feel. Start communicating with your inner father. What would you like to tell him? Did you have enough of his love, protection, support? Can you thank him or do you feel resentment, anger, indifference...? You can tell him now everything that you didn’t dare say before, release the tension that has accumulated over the years... You can ask him any question. Listen to what he will answer you... Perhaps he could not do otherwise (didn’t dare, didn’t know, etc.). Listen to what your inner father wants to tell you. Accept his message, which may come in the form of words, feelings, images or symbols. Accept and forgive him, whatever he may be... After all, he gave you life! And now, given your experience of interacting with your father, you know what to do in your own life: what to value and what not to allow. You can ask your inner father any question or just talk to him. If you don't understand his answer, ask again. One way or another, you must be sure that understanding will come to you later. Try to fulfill any wishes of your inner father. Stay in contact with your inner father for so long until you feel that the conversation with him has been exhausted. Finally, fill the image of your inner father with a stream of Light, Love and Joy and fill him with those qualities that he lacked (imagine them appearing). Thank your inner father and say goodbye to him. 8. Visualize yourself returning to a place of “happiness.” Then feel yourself here and now. Bring your attention to your body. Feel new vigor and strength within yourself. Tighten all your muscles and exit meditation. After everything, take a pen and a piece of paper and write down everything that happened and what you managed to realize. The practice described above can be done several times, since one “meeting” with your inner parents may not be enough. A sign of insufficiency is that after the “internal dialogue” you did not feel a surge of lightness, cheerfulness and strength. Some time after you.