"And if I am different from you, then I do not insult you, but enrich you" (Antoine de Saint-Exupéry). The man fell silent. Your actions? You worry and ask yourself : “Well, why is he silent?” Are you consulting with your mother or girlfriend? Are you looking for information on the Internet on this topic? Then this article is for you! So, let's begin! Yes, men very often remain silent and, not necessarily, after a quarrel or because they are infatuated with someone else. There could be a lot of reasons (tired, in thought, something hurts, just laziness)... But this is not about that at all. It’s actually about you! But why talk about men until the end - they are mysterious? You can’t understand, taking into account the individuality of your particular man, and even more so, you can’t study “from a distance”, even if you sift through all the literature - psychological and classical. Well, yes - they have this, men have a periodic desire - that would. the woman “got unstuck”, stopped “chirping”, let her collect her thoughts, fell behind and let her just lie on the couch (sit with friends, go fishing, tinker in the garage, etc., etc.) So what do you want? Did this knowledge make you feel better? No? So, the point is not why HE is silent, but that it HURTS you? Let me ask one question - WHY DO YOU THINK ABOUT THIS SO MUCH? WORRIED? What exactly is SO disturbing about His silence? Just answer this question for yourself. In 90% of cases, the answer is that it seems that something is wrong (in our relationship), I’m doing something wrong (did), so I’m afraid that he will leave (leave, abandon, break up...) .Yeah, I understand. And what’s the worst thing that will happen in this case?...I’ll be left alone (optionally with children), I’ll have nothing to live on, nothing to eat...I’ll die. Plus: I'll be alone forever. Plus: I’ll stop respecting myself (for not being able to keep a man), others will stop respecting me. Plus………(add according to the situation).If you choose one of the fears (MOST) – what will it be? Let’s assume you’ll be left alone. So what? Many live alone and nothing. Other men finally exist. Will there be anything to eat? Do something else and feed yourself. Are you ashamed in front of other people who, in your eyes, are more successful? Leave them alone - others don’t think about you, they are busy with themselves! And what makes you think that everything is smooth in their family? As they used to say, “every hut has its own rattles.” It turns out that everything that you are SO afraid of is NOT DEADLY! And this fear is rather childish - if my mother leaves, I will die. Yes, you won't die. You will come to life. You will learn to take care of yourself. You will grow as a person. This means that there is some kind of self-deception; these are not the reasons that give rise to anxiety when a man is silent? He is silent BECAUSE HE NEEDS IT SO. What, do you absolutely NEED to speak? Even if the other person doesn’t want to communicate, and your words are a form of polite or not so polite VIOLENCE against his psyche, state, NATURE? Or maybe you yourself don’t really want to enter into a dialogue (seeing his reluctance), but you FORCE yourself? WELL, WHY? BUT YOU SHOULD. Must. Scary words “should” and “must”. We need to communicate and discuss. Must forgive, reconcile, calm down, mend semantic “holes”, establish relationships and build bridges... Must MANAGE the process and monitor the state of the quality of relationships. So? What if it’s not? What if it should NOT and is NOT necessary? Who said that a couple MUST communicate?! Who came up with the idea that exactly this - constant dialogue - is a CRITERION for the SUCCESS of a relationship and a sign of its best QUALITY?! This man was probably a very big talker and could not stand being alone. Whose idea was it that people don’t communicate without words? I beg you! Yes, sometimes a back or a grimace will say more than a 5-minute “speech.” And no one canceled the tacit consent. We communicate all the time. Posture, gesture, facial expression, action... What if you allow yourself SILENCE, PAUSE? And question the postulate that a woman MUST WORK ON A RELATIONSHIP all the time (in order to preserve it)? What if we assume that this is possible: just live calmly with a man, naturally and easily. Without constant control and management. And - the hardest thing - what if - oh,].