Breakup is death: the death of a relationship with a person, your plans and hopes for a future together, you in contact with him/her. Therefore, a breakup is always experienced with grief. Grief of varying intensity, which does not particularly depend on the lifespan of the relationship. It always hurts. Suppose a person received a physical injury, for example, a broken arm. At first he feels a sharp pain - the nervous system sends a signal that the integrity of the body is broken. When timely assistance is provided, the severity of the pain decreases, but the injured part of the body continues to hurt, it temporarily loses some of its functions; in order for it to heal, rest (plaster) and later rehabilitation are necessary. In parallel with this, a person accepts the fact that while he cannot move it, he learns to live with the fact that while his hand periodically aches. If you neglect the plaster and live as if nothing had happened, it is obvious that, at a minimum, the healing process will be longer and more painful, and perhaps the bone will not heal properly. The same is true with a wound from a breakup: it is very important to treat yourself with all care, not Expect the same results and activity from yourself. Give yourself time, surround yourself with care, and don’t be afraid to ask for help and support from loved ones. And to grieve - that is, to give your psyche the opportunity to say goodbye to what happened and accept a new reality. As you know, there are certain stages of experiencing grief: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, acceptance. But still they are not sequential: they can replace each other, intertwine, pass and attack again. It is important to give yourself the opportunity to feel this whole cascade of complex feelings. The temptation to avoid these sensations by going into emotional insensibility and numbness (work/alcohol/food) is very great. It seems that this is a way out, but in this way the person becomes hostage to this pain, continuing to constantly see it in contact with other people or ceasing to feel anything at all. That is, to be stuck in it for a long time. Yes, it is unthinkable and very evil, sometimes manically joyful, and desperate, sad and hurtful. Feeling all these changes seems unbearable at first, the intensity knocks you off your feet, but later you are surprised to discover that you can somehow withstand these sensations, you are bigger and stronger than these feelings. They pass through you in a stormy stream, and you allow them to flow, while realizing what is happening, observing them. By opening up to this pain, you become acquainted with something new in yourself: the ability to feel everything and no longer be afraid of it. Which is actually much bigger and more important than it seems at first glance. The stormy stream subsides over time, it turned out to be a mountain spring that cleanses and heals, giving room for something new to arise. Acceptance begins.