From the author: We really want everything in our lives to be the way we want. But this is an illusion. And at least sometimes in life we ​​have to experience disappointment. To get rid of illusions, you must first admit (admit to yourself, regain your awareness) that your thinking, your mind, is not IDEAL. You cannot know everything, guess, calculate in advance, predict how it will be in the Future. To assume, imagine, fantasize, plan - yes, as much as you like. But it is impossible to know for sure the events, situations, actions of other people and even your own. And with this moment of uncertainty, with the unknown, the illogicality, the nonlinearity of life, you have to put up with or come to terms with. Humility is when you are at peace, when you realize reality. For my taste as a Gestalt therapist, humility is powerlessness and rage experienced at the same time. Powerlessness that nothing can be changed, but the pain of loss is so great that you really want to change everything. And these feelings arise in turn: either the tears of a powerless victim, or the rage of a fury ready to take revenge. And like a broken record, you spin in one place and drink the bitter cup of mental suffering.. First, you must admit: “Yes, it is so!” And I cannot cancel an event, a situation, the actions of another person, because according to the laws of physics of planet Earth, time flows only in one direction from the Past to the Future. Back, never! Next, remind yourself: “I don’t know 100% of the Other person. What he is capable of or not capable of. I don’t know 100% of myself, my capabilities and limitations. I don’t know how I will behave in this or that extreme situation or situation.” temptation and temptation. I am not in CONTROL of LIFE." Yes, yes, that’s right, with a capital letter. No matter how proud you are of your intelligence, education, and logical abilities, you cannot 100% trust only your mind. After all, it is the mind that is the great illusionist, which is capable of deceiving. It operates on the principle of analogy. Therefore, every new situation that occurs will be compared with those that have already happened in your life. Even if you don’t see repetitions and analogies, he sees the same, similar, familiar and tells you the answer to how to react to the situation in the Present with reactions from the Past. It’s just as great for the mind to run into the Future. Planning, forecasting, imagining, imagining, fantasizing, projecting, creating illusions are not a bad property of the mind and sometimes even very useful for everyday life. If, of course, you are aware of the side effects. The only thing the omnipotent mind cannot do is be in the Present at every moment of life. Here and now is unbearably difficult and impossible for him. And if so, then he is not the “omnipotent god” of the universe called “I” and it is very risky to rely only on the mind. I’m saying this from the perspective of personal and professional experience, but you don’t have to believe me, it’s better to check :) In order to prevent the mind from being captured by its own illusions of omnipotence and control, there are also bodily sensations and emotions. How and with what can they help? When your mind plunges into deep sadness and tears flow from you, as if all the worst things are happening again right now, do not blame, shame, urge yourself not to think about the white monkey. Try to focus on the Present. Look around - what you see, hear, touch right now. Just describe what your senses give you right now. - I’m not there, in that situation, in those circumstances, with that person, I’m here and now alone in my room, sitting on my favorite soft marvelous with my marvelous butt and I feel how numb my legs are, tucked under me... how I want to straighten them and move... As soon as you notice, realize the inconvenience, discomfort, tension in your body, you can change everything right now. Notice how the blood begins to move, feel a slight tingling under your knees, notice how the discomfort decreases. Take a couple of deep breaths and slow.