Can a person voluntarily want to get into a situation where he is manipulated and used by someone else, taking away his various resources: time, energy, finances, housing, relationships...? I think: “No!” But! What is this “BUT”? It is important to recognize when you are in such a situation so that you can get out of it! But it’s important and possible to get out of it! Let’s think about these signs that are worth paying attention to? - Manipulators are those people who often ask you for things indirectly, without giving you anything in return. This does not mean that you should constantly count everything you do for the other person. Relationships are a phenomenon much more complex than a football match. But not being able to remember the last time another person helped you in any way without looking at their planner is a strong sign that the other person may be taking advantage of you. This is sad to realize. Yes (Manipulators always keep their count and often in dialogues point out everything that they have done or are doing for you. Manipulators assume, calculate, expect (any verb here) that you will give them what they need, and do not express due gratitude , thanks) As if you were an automatic machine or a convenience store. But even the convenience store gets money in exchange for those petrified hot dogs that have been sitting on the grill for ages. They only make contact with you or be polite when they need something from you. They don't respect your boundaries and They don't take into account your feelings, problems or needs. They set stricter boundaries for you than you set for them or unequal expectations from you (and here's a question for you - why are you doing this?). They don't make an effort to truly know you. They are not ready and do not want, cannot listen to you. All information is about them only. They do not listen to what you say or do to help solve your problems when you raise them. In this case, listening to you means more than just letting you talk. This means acknowledging and taking seriously what you say and doing something positive in return to help and support you. They try to persuade you and offer you “trinkets.” Even the most self-centered person can understand that you can’t do anything for nothing. So, to keep you on a leash, they may give you things that don't cost them anything, like praise that isn't backed up with action, a Starbucks card they're not going to use anyway, or empty promises. They don't keep their promises. Promises , promises, promises... They become meaningless when a person does not fulfill them. Of course, in some cases, unforeseen circumstances occur that can prevent anyone from keeping a promise. If this is the case, then at least this person will warn you about it as soon as such circumstances become obvious, and will make every effort to get out of the situation, sincerely apologize for not fulfilling the tasks assigned to him, and offer something else in return , roughly equivalent to, well, what can he do! Manipulators treat you as a trophy, not as a person, but as an object. They may sing your praises, but this, unfortunately, does not mean that they are not using you. Such praise may be part of using you to gain respect or trust. They give priority to other people and things and do not support you when you have a conflict with someone else. Of course, a person can be more supportive when it is one-on-one communication. But what this person does when he or she has to choose between you and other people or things can be very revealing. They remind you or try to impose their superiority, authority, opinion on you. Even if this person is your supervisor, more experienced or holds a higher position in the institutional or social hierarchy, this does not mean that he +7 905 799-90-09