– When does it happen that you are not asked, but you jump in and criticize someone else, or you seem to have been asked, but you criticize without mincing words – so that it can be stamped with criticism for sure?– When I don’t agree with this behavior. – It’s clear that you don’t agree, but what makes you open your mouth and criticize? – Because he’s making things bad for himself. “Well, he’s doing this badly to himself—he decided it himself, and he did it to himself.” Why do you open your mouth and criticize? - Because then I have to sort it out, get him out. - That is, you cannot leave someone else alone with the consequences of his actions. And this pushes me to keep the behavior of others under control. “And I also criticize others because I am simply annoyed by their incorrect behavior.” This is inexplicable - it’s just annoying and that’s all. - Does this kind of behavior irritate you in yourself? - Yes. - Your Inner Critic is opposed to such behavior - you gnaw at yourself, and at the same time criticize others. - And if you resist and don’t criticize, what will happen? - Then it turns out that I kind of agree with what he’s doing. But I don’t agree, because I think it’s not the right thing to do. – Criticism helps you maintain your correct picture of the world. This is even more important if you are not very confident in yourself, if you have self-doubts. Assuming that the other person might be right increases the uncertainty in how you live and what decisions you make. Criticism of another helps, first of all, to convince myself that I am right, I live correctly, I make the right decisions. – It also happens that a person is simply setting himself up. Sometimes anger and irritation accumulate in me, but I’m a cultured person, I just can’t yell at someone. And then someone will do something that makes me snap at him, and I feel better. - Yeah, the accumulated negativity looks for a way out and pours out on someone else, even if he just turned up, and he is not the reason that all this has accumulated in you. - Yes, but it also happens that the negativity has accumulated because of him. - Still, he is not the reason that this has accumulated in you. It was you who did not dare to immediately express dissatisfaction, who did not immediately look for a solution to what to do with the negativity that appeared. You chose to accumulate it and then dump it on the poor guy’s head. “It seems to me that we are far away from my question.” “Your question was why people criticize me without permission, how to deal with criticism. Through your own experience, we have seen that some people criticize this way when: 1. They take on too much responsibility. Without your consent, they are responsible for your life. They are afraid that the consequences of your actions will fall on their shoulders, so they want to control you. Perhaps you help them with this if, during life’s mistakes, you prefer that someone else deal with the consequences rather than you. In this case, in response to criticism, you can say: “I myself will deal with the consequences of my actions.”2. They themselves do not accept such behavior. They are self-critical. In this case, in response you can say: “It’s probably hard to live like this - in such self-restraint”...3. With their criticism they support their picture of the world, their life guidelines - how to live correctly. With the help of criticism they assert themselves. Your behavior, if different from their actions, poses a danger for them that they can live differently. People who are insecure are afraid of the diversity of life forms; they need everyone to walk in order, to live monotonously - like everyone else - then they will not have to experience the agony of choice - how to live, what decisions to make. In response, you can say: “Uniformity is a utopia. And I’m sorry that it’s hard for you to live in such a diverse world.”4. They have accumulated negativity, and you just fell into the hands - thanks to you, they safely defecated with negativity. In this case, you can respond with congratulations: “Relieved!”5. They do not know how to speak in a timely manner about what does not suit them, that they are dissatisfied with something, that there are issues that have not been resolved. For various reasons, discontent accumulates, and then