From the author: How to fall in love with your husband again? And also how to prevent a situation in which this issue may become relevant. How to keep butterflies in your stomach from the first meeting and “until death do you part.” (Excluding the option of dying a week after the wedding). One of the participants in the “Falling in Love with Yourself” marathon, after finishing it, thanked me for being able to love myself again and asked me to do the “Falling in Love with Your Husband” marathon. To begin with, I decided to write an article about this. To be honest, I have little experience of family life. 7 months. So skeptics may read no further. Yes. So far I have not encountered such a task of “falling in love again.” At the same time, I’ve seen enough of “dead” families and I categorically don’t want that, so I approach my family life consciously, with the understanding that family relationships depend 90% on the woman, i.e. from me. So let this article become a kind of manifesto for me, a public promise to follow my own recommendations. The most terrible (destructive for relationships) illusion is that we make a choice only once. The moment a man decides to give a woman a ring (the moment a woman says “YES”). More subconsciously than in our thoughts, but in fact we make choices EVERY DAY. It’s as if we have such a huge calendar in our heads, life-long, where in front of each day you can put a tick (YES) or a cross (NO). And every day on this list we unconsciously mark - yes or no. Am I ready (am I ready) to live with him (her) for the rest of my life. The oath at the altar (stamp in the passport) is a promise to love in sorrow and in joy, i.e. despite EXTERNAL circumstances. But there is something more important. Our inner worlds. No one makes a promise in the registry office to love, despite the fact that the wife will become unbearable and the husband will become a drunkard. No one makes a promise to the registry office to love despite betrayal, beatings, stupidity, inability to provide for a family, tyranny, hysteria, etc. Every evening, when we fall asleep, a tick is placed somewhere inside us. Or a cross. In answer to the question - are we ready to continue - for the rest of our lives - to live with this person? In the first weeks, months, years of life, most of the boxes are ticked in response to this question. And only rare crosses on days of quarrels, which also happen, diversify this list. But the years go by. We live in peace. After all, the choice was made “where will he/she go from me.” Crosses begin to be placed on both our list and our partner’s list. And then one day we wake up, and the checkboxes of the first months of life are in the minority. The crosses - negative answers - outweigh. And I don’t know if I will succeed throughout my life, but I really set myself up for this, to live every day in such a way that in the evening my husband will tick the box. So that there are as few crosses as possible. And yes, I told him this analogy too. And together with my husband we watched the film “50 First Dates”. In addition to a beautiful fairy tale, this film contains a huge secret to a happy relationship. This is the story of how on October 16 a girl had an accident and damaged her short-term memory. In the evening she went to bed, and in the morning she woke up again as if on October 16, having forgotten about the terrible incident. And no matter what happened that day, the next day she woke up again on the morning of October 16th. A man fell in love with her. And every day he got to know her. And every next day he conquered her again. Each of their kisses was their first. So how can you fall in love with your husband again? Or how not to lose this wonderful feeling? “To meet the groom, a girl must go out cheerful and wearing makeup, because if she goes sad and not wearing makeup, everyone immediately understands that she is already married.” Masha, 6 years old The truth speaks through the mouth of a baby, and this information is not at all for those who want to “meet the groom.” And for those who want to fall in love with their husband again. The conclusion on how to do this suggests itself from the wise phrase of the child. First of all, it is importantunderstand that love is an action, not a feeling (unlike falling in love). Unfortunately, in the modern world it is believed that it is very easy to love, if only there was someone. We believe that problems in love are associated with the wrong choice, but not with our inability to love. People believe that loving is easy, but finding a worthy object for love and achieving it is difficult,” Erich Fromm, “The Art of Loving.” Accordingly, in most cases, falling in love does not develop into love. After the “chemistry” passes, the next period does not begin, since nothing is done for this. Below I will give several recommendations, most of which I use in my daily life, so that I don’t have to “fall in love again” one day: 1. Write “Love for my husband” on your regular vitamins. The power of thought works wonders. By accepting “love for your husband” every morning, you will thereby increase the level of love for him.2. Have a date! A real date, as if it were the very first or most exciting one in your life. Who said that you can only go on a date during the candy-bouquet period?3. Every weekday, when my husband leaves for work in the morning, I meet him from work. I don't just open the door for him, I MEET him. Moreover, I do this twice a day (my husband has lunch at home). It doesn’t matter what mood I’m in, what problems happened. All this can be discussed later. The fact of the meeting itself is important here. How do children greet their father? “Hurray... dad has arrived!!!” How do pets greet their owners? Meet your man as if you are in love with him. Meet your husband in lingerie or a beautiful dress. 4. Once I read a phrase that amazed me: “Eastern women also put on makeup and dress beautifully, but for their husband. Western women look haphazard at home, but they put on makeup and dress to go out and captivate other men with their beauty.” Since then, I decided for myself that I would dress and look good primarily for my man. And here it is very important not to fall into the trap: many men say that they don’t care what you wear, whether you wear makeup or not, or what hairstyle you have. It’s great that they tell you this (and think so), but don’t believe it. That is, I am sure that men are sincere at this moment. They love us in any form, it's true! And yet at work there are many beautifully dressed women around them. However, the point here is not at all in the clothes themselves. The point here is about attitude and decision - to look beautiful first of all for your husband, and not for strangers. Maybe not every day, but at least not only on your birthday and February 23rd. What clothes should you wear at home? If guests unexpectedly come to you, if you run to change clothes, throw away these clothes!!! (If it’s not erotic lingerie, of course) )) 5. Magic exercise “If I loved...”. At the “Falling in Love with Yourself” marathon, I give this task in relation to myself: “if I loved myself, what would I do in this or that situation?” The same can be done in relation to your husband: “if I loved him, if I were in love with him, how would I talk to him, how would I behave?” The answer to this question will give you much more than my article. After all, in it I write about myself, knowing nothing at all about you. 6. Sweet little things. When we are in love, we tend to surprise each other. The opposite is also true; pleasant little things for each other contribute to falling in love. Write a love SMS to your husband when he is at work; put a love note in his jacket pocket or stick it on the refrigerator. One day my husband and I went to a seminar. He was not particularly interesting, we decided that he would leave after the break, but while we were still in the hall, I drew erotic pictures on the notes given and passed the “notes” to my husband. It should be noted that I am an artist from the word “badly”, but the meaning of “rock painting” was clear, and this is the main thing. 7. Dream about the future! Visualize pictures of your happy future together. Shared dreams incredibly unite. 8. If you want to fall in love with your husband, imagine alsothat you want to make him fall in love with you, to please him. Assume that you don't know each other. How would you win his heart? Especially considering how well you know him.9. Play! Bring games into bed (go to a sex shop together), as well as into life! Pretend to be a stranger. Send your husband to the store with a list of groceries, and follow behind! Approach him to “get to know him.” Be mysterious and unusual, do a hairstyle different from the one with which he is used to seeing you. 10. “I look at you like in a mirror... to the point of dizziness” (c) Look into each other’s eyes, wanting to feel into each other, drown in his soulless eyes. 11. Pray for your husband. You don't even have to believe in God to do this. This point is outside of religion. You can replace prayer with gratitude or training in positive thinking. After all, we all know that thoughts are material. And many of us even learn to think positively about ourselves. It became a revelation to me that it is also important to maintain this principle in relation to others. Replace internal grumbling when your husband did something wrong with prayer. This is not at all easy, but it is very effective. Instead of: “Oh, he’s a scoundrel, he didn’t buy bread again, you can’t rely on him for anything, you have to do everything yourself, not your husband, but some kind of punishment,” Think to yourself: “Lord, give my husband reason and memory next time be sure to buy bread" (I believe that my husband is reasonable, be sure to buy bread next time). Even if out loud you tell him something completely different, because you won’t have the strength not to express a complaint, in your thoughts, don’t grumble about your husband. I tested this on myself and my chosen one, it works flawlessly. Say to yourself the desired result, what you want. One of my favorite jokes goes like this: A man rides a tram after work and thinks: “My life is terrible, my wife is a fool, my daughter is a prostitute, my son is a dunce, my boss is a tyrant,” and a guardian angel stands behind him and writes down , surprised: “my ward makes strange wishes, but the master, the master, has to fulfill them.” 12. Be scared!!! As they say, “we don’t keep, but when we lose, we cry.” Don't allow loss. Be afraid that it might happen, your husband might disappear (he might leave for someone else, die, he might be abducted by aliens, in the end). Think about it, its value will immediately increase for you!13. Sign up for dancing with your husband (preferably Tango). 14. Write a list of 100 compliments to your husband. If there is nothing to praise him for now, remember why you once fell in love with him. Praise your husband. Praise your husband correctly. Not just for what he is, but for his deeds. Instead of: “you are so smart, the best,” say: “I can’t cope without you, I feel safe and comfortable next to you, you are strong and therefore I feel safe with you.” “If you treat a person the way he deserves, he will remain as he is, but if you treat him as the person he should and can be, he will become so by your unwavering loyalty to him, you contribute to the fact that he will become so. he did not appreciate himself.” Helen Andelin “The Charm of Femininity” 15. Set yourself the goal of noticing (you can even write down) everything he does for you, thank him for it out loud. Even if he is just doing “his duties.” him for taking out the trash, picking you up from work, taking the children to kindergarten, buying bread (finally). This is called the “method of positive reinforcement.” The more you pay attention to the good things he does for you. the more he will want to do something else for you, which will become a reason to fall in love with him again. 16. Get rid of boredom in yourself! First of all, GET RID OF BOREDOM IN YOURSELF. Renew yourself, fall in love, first of all, with yourself. In order for butterflies in your stomach to start fluttering at the thought of your husband, first of all, they must be in your stomach. If these butterflies are not there, there will be no one to flutter. If there are few butterflies, if they.