From the author: If a tree dries out, there is no point in wiping the dust off the leaves, you need to water the roots. Parents are our roots. - Of course, it’s easy for you to say: You need to be grateful to your parents. Your parents are probably not as terrible as mine... They didn’t give me enough, didn’t love me, underprotected me or overprotected me... The grown “children” have a whole lot of such and similar complaints about their parents. They beat me, maybe I would have been good, otherwise they would have fallen in love with me... Absurd, of course... But this suggests that no matter what parents there are, there will always be complaints and reproaches. Our picture from the head: how parents should love us - it does not coincide with reality. And often, according to the logic of a child, if they don’t love me the way I want, then they don’t love me at all. This is how resentment and irritation, and even hatred, accumulate. And under all this negativity it is almost impossible to feel gratitude and Love. No access. Through layers and layers of negativity. But this does not mean that it does not exist. Yes, unfortunately, we do not have a parenthood exam. And our parents did not attend psychological courses. At school and at the institute, they also did not teach how to raise children correctly. Our parents also had a childhood. And often much more difficult and difficult than ours. We are all victims of victims. This is what Louise Hay said. It is very important to understand that parents are the first people, the first teachers in life. And without deciding, without agreeing with them, it is almost impossible to become happy. Build your happy relationship with your spouse, with your children... By remaining in your past grievances, constantly scrolling through such thoughts, you throw yourself out of the present moment every time. Literally, you are depriving yourself of joy. After all, you are either in the past, in which nothing can be changed, or in the future. Illusory, in which everything could have worked out great if you had different parents. I won’t get tired of repeating: Where your attention goes, so does your energy. Where you direct your attention is actually your choice, your daily little decisions. Regretting missed opportunities By replaying painful situations over and over again, you endlessly pick at your old wounds. This only makes you feel bad and painful. How can you change all this? Understand and accept that your parents, given their knowledge, their level of development, their understanding, did what they could and in the best way they could. And they couldn’t do anything differently. In principle, you can put an end to this. If you want to be happy and joyful right today and develop further, improve your life, you need to put an end to this. Next, think about what is worth Is life, your life on this Earth in this body of gratitude? Gratitude to those through whom you received this life? Gratitude, even if you were raised by your grandmother or if you were left in an orphanage? Gratitude, even if you never saw your father or mother? If you can’t communicate live with your parents in any way, you can’t be yourself with them, you can’t express your feelings to them without blaming them, you can’t hug them and say thank you...you definitely need to do something about it. Sometimes it takes years or decades to get to this point. A psychologist can help. Live through those feelings and situations that still resonate with pain. Release what has been swallowed and compacted inside. Find a resource. If you are not ready yet, start with at least a piece of paper and a pen. Write a letter. Mom. To Dad. Sincerely, as in spirit. Put everything out there clean. As it is. Without embellishing and without powdering your “decency and goodness.” Cry, write, grind your teeth. Release. Express it. Don’t worry, you don’t need to send it. Burn it. But at least be yourself while you write. Hereby. With yourself and a piece of paper. The main thing is to start. Good luck!