One of the common misconceptions that I encounter during consultation is the client’s desire for the other person to change. This applies to personal relationships, family relationships, and any others. Of course, this is felt most acutely in personal relationships. Often it looks something like this: “Yes, I’m offended by him (her), maybe now he (she) will understand that it’s impossible to do this and he will change.” In this example, the role of the victim is visible, but the desire to change the other can come from any role position (both aggressor and rescuer). I usually ask a person, why would someone else change at all, just because of your resentment? He knows perfectly well that you will be offended and stop, as it happened before. This is the first. That is, a simple offense is not a sufficient reason for another to change. In addition, he may simply not understand the reasons for your offense. And second. The desire to change another is always a shift of responsibility. It's easier for someone to change, but not for you. To which they usually answer: “But I do so much for him (her), and I ask so little, just that he (she) respects my opinion in this matter (doesn’t be rude to me, helps me in something, etc. .)". Yes, and that means you ONLY want the other person to change. If you are not satisfied with your relationship, then you yourself are at least equally responsible for it. This means that you yourself allow yourself to be treated in a way that you do not like. If you begin to change, then the other person will have no choice but to change in response to your changes. Of course, provided that he does not decide to completely stop communicating with you. This process is not always easy; at first, it may seem that you are shouldering a double burden. Not only does the other person resist your changes in every possible way, but he also has to change in response. You also have to fight your own resistance, since the new behavior may feel unnatural for you. But the more persistent your actions, the sooner change will come. In addition, gaining the experience that you yourself can influence the overall relationship is worth a lot. Have a good mood!