When we feel loneliness, then nearby there are feelings of unhappiness, isolation, abandonment. This is especially painful when we break up with partners, move to another city or country, lose loved ones, or when significant and loved ones die. In some cases, this can develop into the especially painful nature of depression. However, feelings of loneliness and abandonment arise even without these external events, and are often associated with the experience of a traumatic separation at an early age. It is rare that anyone can recognize in the moment how the feeling of abandonment and loneliness develops without external events, and how strongly this early experience influences. People who faced the trauma of abandonment in childhood become overly sensitive to refusals, separations, and losses in adulthood. This leads to a false need to take ownership of relationships and people so as not to lose them at any cost. Too much focus on retention leads to excessive attention to others, and from this follows unconscious neglect of oneself and one's life. Thus, most people who are described as altruists actually feel a strong need to take care of themselves, but cannot to fully give themselves care, they cannot receive it from others, and then they sublimate this into their own service to others. A child who in childhood did not have sufficient experience of intimacy and security in relationships with his parents, primarily with his mother, in adulthood continues to bear the burden of these unlived relationships. He cannot become holistic and realize his worth without evaluating other people, without external manifestations of himself in achievements, money, development, etc. This person often feels deep inside that his current loved ones do not truly love him, and that is why he may be very vulnerable due to any of their refusals and concern for boundaries - he perceives this as disdain in his direction. Then we can say that a person develops a distorted idea of ​​his own real value, of trusting relationships, and a distorted idea of ​​objective reality , about yourself and your body. This experience can be healed in long-term psychotherapy or in a relationship with a healthy partner, on whom you not only want to lean, but also grow next to.