From the author: Top Manager Magazine. How to achieve financial success and not lose contact with yourself? The Talmud asks: Who is really rich? Rebbe Meir used to say: He who finds inner peace through his wealth. Why do money scare us so much? Money is evil! This is what many of our fellow citizens think. But the attractive power of wealth does not weaken, although it is somehow not customary to speak out loud about your love for money in Russia. In modern society, the topic of money is even more taboo than sex. The question “How much do you earn?” considered more intimate than "Do you have a girlfriend?" And people who have achieved wealth are looked at askance. If someone doesn’t believe it, I suggest that somewhere in the company they say that “wealth promotes spiritual development.” Needless to say, you are guaranteed to get sidelong glances. Stable stereotypes regarding financially successful people have developed in the public consciousness. Researchers note the following as the most stable: Seized property during privatization by deception, not an entrepreneur, but a fraudster, or even a bandit; The rich can afford honesty and decency, because They have an easy life. Money is a symbol of sexual viability. Girls love moneybags. Achieving financial success seems like something unrealistic and scary to most people. People are used to thinking that: Every person should work hard for a modest salary until the end of his days You have to work for the sake of money, otherwise you’re just an amateur All a person needs in terms of a career is a reliable, not too difficult job that pays enough The secret of happiness is about not expecting much from life and being content with little. When a person is born, his fate is already predetermined by genes and social environment. And it is useless to fight this. Classical Christian ethics has a contradictory view of money: on the one hand, believers are called upon to be hardworking, thrifty and fair, and on the other hand, unselfish, altruistic and ascetic. The feeling of guilt for excess personal wealth and responsibility for the fate of the poor are the hallmarks of the Christian ethic. Thus, the lack of money is recognized as the condition destined for the majority of humanity. And blocking the need for money becomes a powerful defense mechanism. Poverty turns into “non-acquisitiveness”, into a virtue. It is interesting that the attitude towards money as something shameful is embodied even in such trifles as the procedure for the provision of medical services: financial transactions are entrusted to the administrator or nurse. The doctor is engaged in such noble work that he should not be “defiled” by the question of money. And yet the poor also save money. But for what? According to surveys, low-income people name their savings goals as follows: Accidents, illnesses and unemployment A nest egg for old age, or, even worse, “for a funeral” Education of children Buying an apartment (who doesn’t dream of living separately from their parents!) And only a small percentage names them as the purpose of savings is the possibility of extracting additional income, a source of generating profit. Economic instability is not suitable as an explanation here. Russia has experienced continuous economic growth over the past 10 years. Venerable businessmen, with whom I often communicate due to my profession, unanimously say that now in Russia there are the best conditions for starting your own business in all the time that they remember. In this regard, our sociologists revealed an interesting feature: during periods of economic growth, the number of impulsive purchases increases sharply, people spend much more, enthusiastically take out loans, without thinking about the future. Modern research confirms that the average person, as a rule, makes economic decisions not rationally, but under the influence of his beliefs, fears and impulsive desires. People who do not save, out of habit, consider themselves a victim of external circumstances. Feeling what they're doingsomething is wrong, they diligently hide their true financial situation, in principle they do not like to discuss financial issues, they do not control their finances. Moreover, a wide layer of the “educated poor” stubbornly does not admit their poverty and tries with all their might to appear to be “middle class.” Various primitive forms of self-employment allow them to stay afloat: personal subsidiary plots, private transportation, offering small services such as repairs. And when they ask for money for their work, many of them are filled with a feeling of guilt. Hypocrisy towards money is widespread: it is despised and secretly desired at the same time. Wealth is considered something sinful and suspicious, and at the same time, money is a measure of a person’s importance and success. True, in Russia, unlike Western Europe, people hide not their wealth, but their poverty. Moreover, the achievement of internal harmony and material success are opposed. Big money causes fear, as it allows you to uncontrollably express your own emotions and neglect external circumstances, and can destroy self-discipline. Four poverty strategies: In order to psychologically protect themselves from poverty, many compatriots form their own attitudes that internally reconcile with the lack of money.1. Some, feeling that they cannot cope with their role as a breadwinner, the man feels an urgent need to find someone to blame for this state of affairs. As a rule, such a strategy manifests itself in reproaches to the “wasteful wife” or in washing the bones of the “squeezing out the last juice” employer.2. Others agree to see the source of poverty in themselves. They are often tormented by feelings of guilt. They admit that they need to change, but at the same time they constantly complain about their own wastefulness and laziness, which does not allow them to climb out of the financial hole.3. Still others directly admit their capitulation, claiming that they are unable to change their financial situation. They try to treat money philosophically, readily recognizing the inherent injustice of the world around them, where money is obtained not through hard work, but from parents or as a result of shameful fraud. There will always be “big people” who from time immemorial determine the price level and profit from the labor of ordinary workers. They treat work as a state-guaranteed necessity, and not as an area of ​​personal responsibility for their future destiny.4. Still others dream about what they will do when they have a lot of money. They feel that luck has not yet turned its face on them and are constantly in search of a better job and an ideal employer who will finally appreciate their outstanding abilities. Deep inside them is the idea that a person who does not have money is worthy of contempt, even if he is smart and talented, but spending time on painstaking work seems like a waste of time to them. In their understanding, wealth is the ability to spend. Seven behavioral attitudes that can lead to serious problems in the money sphere: 1. Gambler's excitement, inability to stop in time2. Greed, the desire to get more of a transaction partner3. Envy, which causes a person to waste mental energy4. Impulsivity and anger5. Low self-esteem, the belief that a person is not capable of becoming rich6. Satisfaction with one's lot7. Sentimentality and conservatism are adherence to cultural and family traditions in which money is not a value. MONEY IS NOT A MEANS OF PSYCHOLOGICAL COMPENSATION! Behind the craving for money very often lie completely different desires. This is the need for love, security, power and freedom. And since many Lyuli believe that their failure to meet these needs is caused by a lack of money, they redouble their efforts to earn even more, but often do not achieve results. After all, they do not realize that their true goal sounds completely different. Security: Often the desire for wealth is nothing more than the need for emotional security. The desire for wealthself-made businessmen are often associated with psychological traumas of childhood. Wealth for them is a compensatory mechanism that allows them to regain a sense of security. In this case, money is used as a way to overcome anxiety. There are 4 types of people for whom money is a symbol of security: 1. Miser. For them, saving money is valuable in itself.2. Ascetic. They find pleasure in self-denial and ostentatious poverty.3. Bargain Hunter: Does not part with money until the situation turns out to be as profitable as possible, and then happily spends it. A feeling of triumph often redeems the irrationality of the acquired item.4. Fanatic collector. Ownership of objects replaces communication with people and a feeling of deep attachment to a loved one. Power: Money and the power it gives can be seen as an attempt to return to infantile fantasies of omnipotence. Power seekers are very aggressive in pursuing their financial ambitions.1. Manipulator. Uses money to manipulate and control people, taking advantage of their vanity and greed.2. Empire Builder. Independent and confident in his abilities. Denying his dependence on others, he tries to make others dependent on himself.3. Godfather. Uses money for bribes and control, buying loyalty and devotion. Freedom: Money here acts as a means of liberation from routine, giving the opportunity to manage one’s life and freely realize dreams and desires.1. Freedom buyer. For such a person, money means freedom from obligations and rules that limit his independence. Such people strive first of all for freedom, and not for love, they dream of a relationship in which both partners would feel freedom and spiritual unity. But in reality, they turn out to be too self-centered, closed and self-sufficient, which causes resentment and anger among close people and business partners.2. Freedom fighter. Among them are many political radicals who reject money as a result of the enslavement of other people. Love: A common type of people who consider spending as a condition for receiving the love and devotion of others. We will conditionally call this type “Love Buyer.” By giving gifts to others, a person tries to buy their love, tries to avoid the feeling of rejection, pleasing others with his generosity. In addition, having money in your pockets gives you a feeling of sexual attractiveness. Thus, many people make the mistake of combining non-financial goals and financial goals. For example, to realize your long-time dream of becoming an artist, you don’t need any special expenses: you need a minimum income to “maintain your pants” and paint. But if the same artist dreams of buying a house by the sea, because it is difficult for him to endure the St. Petersburg polar winters both emotionally and physically, then this is already a financial goal. Financial strategies of “white collar” Yuppies, metrosexuals - spend a lot on luxury goods. They are forced to work harder than others, living in a crazy rhythm of squirrels in a wheel, in order to maintain their clearly excessive level of consumption. They try to look like they are rich, they buy a lot of luxury goods, they are workaholics and snobs. They embody the key rule of the “consumer society”: “Earn more in order to spend more.” The new bourgeoisie does not spend money on luxury goods, but loves everything of high quality. They can go on a simple hiking trip with a backpack, but their equipment will be of the highest standard. They do not demonstrate their wealth, are democratic in communicating with the “common people”, and are prone to self-irony. Their main difference is that work for them is a source of pleasure, and not just a source of money, as for yuppies. At heart they are adherents of the Protestant work ethic: earn more, spend less. The new bourgeoisie has a negative attitude towards unaffordable luxury and the desire to live one day at a time. What can you learn from people who love money? Large businessmen unanimously say: Most people cannot achieve financial success because they have a poor understanding of the goal(a feeling of joy, happiness), for the realization of which they need money. Wealthy people are characterized by an unbending will and faith in success, an optimistic view of the future, and fighting spirit. In their approach to life's difficulties, they profess an approach that Bodie Schaeffer once formulated as follows: “If someone else is to blame for my problems, then I endow them with my power and give them the right to decide my destiny.” The approach to inevitable mistakes and defeats They are similar to the attitude of Peter 1 to the defeat at Narva, who called the Swedes his teachers. We are not responsible for all the events that happen in our lives, but we are 100% responsible for their interpretation. Truly rich people, as American researchers testify, live modestly. They are very thrifty and invest well. Moreover, they have a stable marriage and several children. People who save tend to take responsibility for their lives, know how to dream, turn their dreams into concrete goals and work hard to achieve them. People with high incomes recognize money as one of the important indicators of success in life. Rich and elderly people are much more concerned about their future than poor and young people. The emotional state of wealthy people, contrary to expectations, turns out to be more harmonious than that of the poor. They more often recognize themselves as happy people. Statistics show that even in Russia the rich live longer. After all, wealthy people do not have a debilitating inferiority complex, fear of poverty, dismissal or poor old age. How to achieve financial success and become happy? Buddhist preacher and successful businessman Geshe Michael Roach claims that wealth promotes spiritual development. Buddhist thought holds that money itself is not evil, because in fact a person with more resources can do much more good than someone who does not have them. The question is rather whether we maintain a moral attitude towards money. In his book “The Diamond Cutter,” he argues that only a positive attitude towards the world, the ability to see the positive in any event, is the best strategy for achieving financial success. Michael Roach advises his students: “In your reaction to financial difficulties, whether personal or corporate , - first of all, you need to avoid stinginess as a state of mind. And even if you have to close this shop until better times, it is vital that you do not think in small categories, do not lose your creativity, do not lose your generosity and nobility of vision under the yoke of yet another financial hardship.” Nilton Bolton in his book “The Kabbalah of Money” asserts that it is the duty of every person to increase wealth, not only for himself. but also all around. The more fully we provide for the needs of one person without diminishing the wealth of another, the better. Christopher Hill stated: “Dreams come true when desire becomes action. Ask life for a lot - and life will give you a lot.” The main secret: money is love! Christopher Hill is one of the world's leading researchers of the secrets of financial success. As a result of many years of research, he came to the stunning conclusion that every one of the people who achieved outstanding success was influenced by the love of a woman. Love, together with passion and sex, gives wings to all creative efforts of a person, as if providing them with a ladder. Almost every leader in his field, says K. Hill, was inspired by a woman. In most cases, the role of the “femme fatale” was a modest, but selfless and caring wife, about whom society had heard nothing or almost nothing. Kill the sexual feeling in yourself, says Hill, and you will kill the main source of your vitality. Business sociologists note. That the most significant results are achieved by people with highly developed sexual feelings. People who are repressed or lack sexual energy never have any enthusiasm for anything, so they cannot inspire others. Teachers of financial independence give a completely different message from the everyday