Dear readers, this article is a continuation of the previous one, published on this resource. In this article you will find a description of working with tables of character properties and specific examples of work; in the previous article you can find the rationale for this work. The table itself is constructed simply: on a separate sheet of paper you need to write in a column from three to ten of your main character traits. In the second column, opposite each trait, you must put a plus or a minus, depending on how this trait helps or harms the person himself in life. In the third column, you also need to put a plus or minus opposite each trait, but depending on its impact on others. My task is to, without changing the traits themselves, show a person how they can be transferred from negatively colored to positive. When you call “negative” traits by their positive names - doubles, this already significantly increases self-esteem. To be fair, I must say that there are truly negative traits that cannot be transformed into positive ones. For example, how can irritability be transformed? No way, irritability is always bad. And many people point out this character trait. But there is consolation here too: with rare exceptions, what is not transformed is treated. Let me explain. Irritability, as a rule, is associated either with tension in the nervous system or with disrupted hormonal levels. The tension of the nervous system is corrected by the competent use of herbal remedies, that is, herbal medicine, and in more complex cases - medication. And in cases where irritability is a consequence of menopausal hormonal changes in men and women, this is also corrected either by phytohormones, or homeopathy, or hormone replacement therapy. That is, in this diagnosis, not only knowledge of psychology is important, but also medical skills that help to distinguish low self-esteem from a painful condition. In both cases, help is possible. We've sorted out the names of character traits. Now let’s move on to an even more interesting part, the pros and cons that characterize the traits in question regarding ourselves and others. The fact is that many of us do not quite objectively assess our own traits and the actions associated with them. For example, one of the trainees of her traits she designated as generosity. Generosity is a positively colored word, this is already good, and one would expect that it is definitely good both for the person himself and for those around him. But our heroine said that this is bad for her, and those around her “brazenly take advantage of it,” and for them it is not a plus, not a minus, that is, opposite her generosity, she put two minuses. I asked for an example, it’s always easier with examples disassemble any material. And she told a story about how many years ago, when she was very young and just starting to work and get her money, she dreamed of buying a large carpet for her room. But then her relatives turned to her with a request to borrow a significant amount of money, since they had been robbed and had nothing to live on. The girl had such a sum, because she had just saved up for a carpet, but without hesitation, she gave the money away. I want to say that our heroine told this story not without pleasure, clearly proud of herself and her action. “So what bad happened?” - I asked. She answered: “Well, of course, because I was left without money and without purchases, and I even had to save on food for a whole month, subsisting on bread and water. Of course, my relatives later returned the money to me, but this did not happen soon.” But this is wonderful! - I exclaimed. You helped your loved ones, this is definitely a plus for them. And now, after so many years, you have not forgotten this story and are telling it to us, and this arouses our admiration and feeling of sympathy for you. You carried this story through your life as one of those that makes you proud of yourself, how could you?Can a carpet serve you such a service? And the fact that you even ate less for a month was ultimately a relief for both the soul and the gastrointestinal tract, because it’s not for nothing that all believers fast from time to time. This is useful. This means that your generosity is a plus for you! So we were able to convert two minuses into two pluses. And this is very important for self-esteem - to realize that your character traits benefit both you and those around you. But, as you know, there are exceptions to any, even the best rule. With generosity, I have another example when it was and not generosity at all, but simply stupidity and the inability to say “No.” The woman also indicated generosity in her character traits and, on the contrary, put two minuses. She told her story about how she was also asked to borrow money, and she gave everything that was in the family at that time. Only, unlike the first storyteller, an acquaintance asked for a loan, who had to pay off previous debts, and it was known that he was an unreliable, gambling person, he took out a lot of credit without having his own sufficient financial base, they say about such people as “Scammers.” Knowing and understanding all this, our heroine could not refuse him, since it was inconvenient for her to offend him. I tried to explain to her that this was not generosity, but stupidity and inability to say “No,” but she did not want to understand me. Then I asked her to imagine that she had ten bills in her hands, and in front of her stood in a row: a gambler, a drug addict and an alcoholic. They all need money: a gambler needs money for games, a drug addict needs money for drugs, and an alcoholic needs money for a bottle of vodka. She was asked to manage this money. Imagine my surprise when she seriously began to try to distribute the money between these characters. “But you are killing these people with your “help”! You also did not help that person, you only supported him in his vicious circle, and his family in “They left you without money, don’t do that ever again,” I said. I don’t know if it really helped, but the woman said that she understood everything. In this case, we had to replace the positive word “Generosity” not with “stupidity” (although this was very suitable), but with a softer definition: “naivety and mistake.” After analyzing the situation, we still gave a plus for ourselves, since this mistake should serve as a lesson and allow you to rethink your behavior. It’s not for nothing that they say: “Only those who do nothing make mistakes” and “They learn from mistakes.” If this woman found the strength to tell her story and admit that she was wrong, this already speaks of her desire to improve and improve. When we analyze similar stories at trainings, I propose to raise their hands to those who have never made a mistake - so far no one has raised them. Thus, as a result of working on the table of character properties, the following should happen: There should be at least five character properties, and all of them should either, at best, have a positive connotation, or be subject to adjustment or treatment, or they must be rethought and, if possible, crossed out both from the table and from the person’s behavior. All remaining properties must be positive both in relation to the person himself , and to its surroundings. I will give an example from two tables. The first table is an example of a typical filling, and the second is the same, but only transformed as a result of working on individual points. The tables may indicate opposite traits that cannot simultaneously occur in one person, but these are tables not of specific people, but of teams . In tables, people often indicate not only pros and cons, but also zeros, believing that these qualities are indifferent to society, and society does not care about them. Sometimes zeros are even worse than minuses; indifference is emptiness. As a result of the work, there should be no zeros left, since it is important for a person to realize his need not only for himself, but also for those around him. Table No. 1. Table of character properties. Character trait What is it for me What is it for others 1. Inability to save money - -