From the author: A look at life as a training “Your wife is probably a psychologist if money disappears in the house and some diplomas and certificates appear.” This joke on Facebook took me back to the beginning of my career. I studied and “treated” for a long time and at great cost. If we put together all the funds spent on my training and personal therapy, then it would be possible to buy more or less decent housing. But everyone around me repeated with one voice and they were right: “You need to invest, first of all, in yourself.” With what curiosity and greed I absorbed knowledge at the university and in trainings! With what triumph and trepidation I received the “crusts” and certificates! And where are all these diplomas now, as well as everything acquired before the war? Somewhere gathering dust in their native Lugansk. Alexander Solzhenitsyn wrote the truth in “The Gulag Archipelago”: “Don’t chase the illusory - property, titles: this can be acquired with the nerves of decades, but will be confiscated in one night.” In one night, I had to leave everything in order to save the most important thing - my lives. I remember telling my sons then, in June 2014: “Boys, we have all the most valuable and expensive things with us. This is our knowledge, skills and experience. We will continue to live and work with what we have.” What is there? What of all the things I have acquired remains with me forever? How can I benefit from my profession as a psychologist? The most valuable thing I took away from the trainings was their general rules. I simply began to live my life according to them. The first rule is this: formulate a request! In other words, decide what you want? Be specific and consistent. Determine for yourself: how will you understand that you have achieved what you want? I can go on and on for a long time and talk about what doesn’t suit me, but the “seller” will ask the following question: “What do you want? And how much should it weigh in grams?” The second rule says: perceive everything that happens to you as expedient, that is, consistent with your goals and the goals of your immediate environment. As Professor Woland said: “Never before has a brick just fallen on anyone’s head.” There are always cause-and-effect relationships arising from the first rule. For example, I learned about the existence of personal boundaries and decided to “build” them. In this case, I shouldn’t be surprised where the “toxic impudent people” who disturb my peace of mind come from. You can only build boundaries with those who violate them. The third rule is the rule of presence - be “here and now”, take responsibility for your own feelings and the realization of your desires. All these rules and many more have helped me in difficult situations. I have been passing them on to my clients for twelve years. Stop whining; tell me what you want; stop resisting events; solve rather than run from problems; don’t put all the responsibility for your life on me; if you can’t run, then at least lie down and lie there, but in the direction of your goal. Is psychotherapy an expensive pleasure? I think it’s clear from the first lines that it’s very expensive. And not just because “the psychologist wants to make money.” Ask the owner of Rolex why his watch costs a fortune? If he turns out to be more convincing, then buy yourself an alarm clock - this is also a good investment. Look at it and notice how time passes. Life goes by quickly, even if you don't like it. Rolex manufacturers say that expensive watches are designed for those who value time. And I say that the services of psychologists are for those who value quality life in every hour of it..