From the author: Who in a modern family should be the head of the family? As it is written in one of the stories, all animals are equal, but some of them are more equal. Likewise, in family relationships, both spouses are equal, but whatever one may say, one of them is more equal. Let's try to figure out who is more equal and by how much. And if it’s straight to the point, then who’s in charge in the family? Of course, it all depends on what culture the family, or rather one and the other spouse, belong to. For example, in Jewish culture the head of the family is the woman, but in Islamic culture the family is unconditionally ruled by the man. And there are many more examples of different cultures where no special questions arise about leadership in the family, everything is clear there. But does this lead to a happy family life? Something tells me that this is not always the case. But what should we Slavs do, where there are no clear instructions on this matter? It seems to me that the answer is simple - create your own rules in each family. But I’ll try to speculate on this matter first. Recently, many different trends have appeared in the post-Soviet territory, which have already become fashionable, which tell how our ancestors lived and how their family life was structured. For example, recently knowledge from the Vedas has been widely broadcast. It clearly states the roles of men and women, what they must do in order for there to be peace, order and understanding in the family. But according to my feelings, this is another frame in which a person is placed in order for him to feel good. I am not against the Vedas, just as in principle I am not against other healthy cultural movements. Rather, I am against boundaries in relationships. Let me explain my point. Here is a man and a woman meeting. They are very different. In addition to being purely physiologically different with various interesting nuances arising from this, they were also brought up differently, learned different models of behavior, different values. Each of them has their own experience, their own ideas about good and evil, about what is good and what is bad. Each of them has their own dreams, desires, and possibilities. And it is not a fact that many of the aspirations of future spouses (if, of course, they grow together; it seems to me that creating a couple in our society is similar to that difficult path of finding and fertilizing an egg, that is, everything is not very simple) will coincide. Or they can be completely opposite. With such a set of differences and similarities, a man and a woman meet each other and for some reason begin to build a relationship. Since I am a former techie, the meeting process seems like this to me. There are two matrices, each with many different cells. For example, a value cell, a belief cell, etc. Each of these cells is filled differently. In terms of quantity and quality. Somewhere it’s a plus, and somewhere it’s a minus, somewhere it’s full of everything, and somewhere it’s empty. And no one knows how filled matrices are found. Well, maybe the Creator knows about this, but men and women certainly don’t (they don’t even suspect about many things, and, thank God), and even more so their parents, relatives, and friends. And then the question arises - who is in charge in their relationship, and in the future, if everything grows together, then in the family? I think the question is complicated. In this case, is it worth taking some kind of matrix and putting the matrices of these two wonderful people there? Or give the opportunity to look for those forms of building relationships that are suitable for this particular couple (the optimal combination of matrices)? And when they have children, everything will only become much more complicated. My opinion is that each couple builds their own relationship. It is quite possible that in order for one family to function as a healthy mechanism, a man must dominate it. And he is ready for this, the woman is ready to follow him, in general, a consensus has been found. Or maybe it's the other way around. The man takes a secondary role, the woman manages the family and both are satisfied with this. And I think that such an order will not necessarily be established once and for all. Perhaps over the course of his life he will change in one direction or the other. Of course, it may be objected that a man was created for one thing, and a woman for another. This.