What is women's happiness? As it is sung in the song “If only my dear one is nearby...”, but in life... Ideally, a family is a conscious union of two people who sincerely want to live together, share all the troubles and joys, by uniting they become the closest and there can be nothing and no one between them . This is the basis. The foundation of the family. And this is no secret and everyone knows it. If this foundation is strong and the relationship really brings joy and there is mutual understanding in everyday matters and these two people, understanding and accepting each other, go in the same direction, but each remains the individual that he was (no one tries to remake each other for themselves), then we can say that a family can be strong. And then you can build superstructures on the foundation - have children if both of them, I emphasize both, want this, and not one of the couple. Otherwise, it is simply manipulation of another person, and it exists in many relationships, but at the same time it has a destructive effect on close relationships. A child born to a couple is the result of their love and desire. And it is only an addition to the family, and does not become the main thing in the family system. This is ideal. But unfortunately, it very often happens that after the birth of a child in the family, everything begins to change and the man fades into the background, because the main thing for a woman is the child. And this is where the main difficulties in family life begin. A man stops receiving attention, understanding and love from his wife, he becomes like an additional link, give, bring, help, earn. Give, give, give - and nothing in return, all the mother’s emotions go only to the child, everything is only for the sake of the child. The woman is in merging with the child and does not notice anything else, because this is a miracle! You see, it’s impossible not to love him! And of course she believes that everyone should treat her treasure the same way she does. And what about the husband? The husband, of course, endures all the hardships, understanding how hard it is for his wife, how difficult it is for her to cope with the child, and helps as much as he can, because he loves his wife. Namely his wife, since the child so far frightens him more than makes him happy. A man's love for a child comes a little later. It is the love for his wife that helps him cope with the situation when he remains, as it were, on the sidelines. But such a situation should normally last no more than a year, and if more... Then the following happens: the mother and child form a separate coalition, in which she and the child, and on the other side her husband, who still owes. He must help her raise the child, provide for and carry out all her instructions, and at the same time the child receives attention and love, but there seems to be not enough for his father. The man feels abandoned, unclaimed, unappreciated, and generally feels bad. Few people can cope with something like this. Often it is in such a situation that men look for support and understanding on the side, they leave for work or friends, mistresses appear, everyone solves the issue of loneliness in their own way. And then the foundation of the family begins to crumble. And it’s good if initially it was strong, based on love and mutual understanding. Let's return to the mother-child coalition, as soon as it is formed the family is over. A woman ceases to understand the importance of a man in her life and the life of her child. And this role is very important. Without paternal education, a girl will never learn how to properly build relationships with the opposite sex, will not learn to be self-confident, will not gain self-esteem, and a boy will not be able to become a full-fledged man. The mother is responsible for the safety of the child here and now and therefore always shows increased care and attention. The father is responsible for the future of his children. He teaches them to look forward, choose their path and move towards realizing their goals. This is how nature distributed the responsibility for raising parents of their children. Which of these roles is more important? Here and now, or what will happen ahead, how children’s lives will turn out in the future. Both roles are inseparable. AND.