From the author: The article is posted on the website No matter how old you are now, you were definitely younger at one time. And certainly once you were a child. And therefore, in each of us, regardless of age and status, there is an inner part called the “Inner Child”. Who is our Inner Child? This is the part of our personality that stores memories and all the information from the time when each of us was a little boy or girl. It is there that all childhood joys and sorrows, worries and anxieties, surprises, discoveries and impressions, our spontaneous reactions and the ability (or inability) to express ourselves are preserved. A person who is in contact with this part of himself knows how to openly show emotions, be surprised, and create. and create something new, experience and learn, feel and enjoy, knows how to satisfy his “wants”, rejoice in victories and the results of his work. The inner child is the source of intuition, the source of pure energy of creativity and creation. This is our ability to live “to the fullest”, truly, here and now (if you have forgotten, then watch your children how they live every day). That is why it is so important to preserve and maintain this connection. People who have bright and wonderful memories of their childhood have a very strong resource and nourishment from this part of their unconscious, such people have strong emotional immunity, they are able to easily switch from a negative wave to positive, learn from different situations, find new non-standard solutions and enjoy the little things. Such people are also called optimists or they say that they live “playfully,” everything turns out easily and as if “by itself.” A psychologically healthy Inner Child is naturalness, openness, spontaneity, spontaneity, sociability, optimism, creativity, sincerity, adequate self-esteem, trust in oneself and others, the ability to accept and share, to be generous with others, a positive attitude, the ability to adequately express emotions, self-confidence, love for oneself and for others and complete acceptance of oneself, without conditions. Psychologically traumatized Internal A child is closedness and suspicion, anxiety, distrust, touchiness, isolation, the presence of fears, unsociability (not to be confused with innate temperamental characteristics), modesty, pathological feelings of guilt, justification for oneself, inability to express oneself and express emotions, fear of evaluation and criticism, but at the same time, acute criticism of oneself and even more of others, helplessness, low or, on the contrary, high self-esteem, inability to turn to others for help, defenselessness, the “tyrant/victim” complex, etc. It is very important that this part of the personality, which is called the “Inner Child”, was healthy and so that the person was constantly in contact with this part of himself. Healthy contact makes life much easier, helps you quickly switch from a negative state to a positive one, instead of dwelling on grievances, meet your partner and build relationships based on the position “you feel good and I feel good”, quickly find non-standard solutions in unexpected situations, experience less stress and even more so, do not suffer from feelings of shame and guilt. If you observe children, they do not yet have the habit of purposefully “getting stuck” in their sorrows for a long time. As soon as something else, more interesting, comes into their field of attention, they immediately get carried away by it and already forget about what upset them 5 minutes ago. This is how their nature works - they have no time to waste precious minutes of life on sorrows (unlike many adults), because there are so many interesting things in the world that they want to know, touch, examine, feel, crush, taste. This quality - switching - is very valuable, and if a person was able to maintain it in adulthood, then it will help him develop as an individual, but this time consciously. But there is one caveat - children are not responsible for anything. Just because theychildren! Both by status and age, they are not supposed to, and that’s normal. At the initial stage of its development, it is important for a child to explore the world without thinking “why?” and why?" (especially since at a certain stage these questions naturally appear in his vocabulary). In a healthy, full-fledged child, the world of feelings and desires is the leading one in his development. For an adult, it is important not only to want and desire, but also to be aware of his actions, words, as well as their consequences. That is, before you say or do something, you need to understand for yourself “why am I saying or doing this?” This helps to develop such an important quality as responsibility, which is an important criterion for a person’s psychological maturity. A person who, even in adult life, is guided only by his “wants” remains psychologically immature, i.e., infantile. Not only does he not know how to take responsibility, he is afraid of it, so he avoids it in every possible way or shifts it onto others. Psychological immaturity manifests itself in different ways: for example, a person does not take anything seriously in situations where a conscious, balanced decision is required, he laughs it off when he needs to take takes responsibility, ignores other people's rudeness, pretending that nothing special happened. Such people rarely make plans for the future, live one day at a time, preferring not to take on too much and “not bother with any problems”, they try once again to “keep their heads down”, not to show initiative, and are content with what they have. In serious situations that require a clear decision, they prefer that the decision be made by someone else; they easily concede primacy, choosing a more passive position. Such people often make excuses like little children, apologize, are afraid of something, or are ashamed. Such people are said to be unreliable, irresponsible, and difficult to deal with because of their excessive frivolity and “childishness.” Perhaps they would be happy to change something, but very often they lack inner determination, because inside such people “lives” a small child who is “used to” thinking: “Why should I do something or express myself? Nobody needs me anyway, they won’t love me anyway...” The other side manifests itself in excessive assertiveness and rigidity, in a painful desire for leadership and dominance, in defending one’s rightness “by hook or by crook.” Such people, on the contrary, do not wait their turn, but go ahead, achieve their goal, ignoring generally accepted rules and norms. A frequent tool of such people is rudeness and aggression towards others. At the same time, they like to be offended and blame others for their failures. They are so eager to protect themselves from everything that they often make long-term plans, and then become angry and experience extreme stress because, as a rule, everything does not go the way they wanted, and losing the ability to control is very scary for them. Such people are too serious, they rarely relax, “childish nonsense” in the form of sincere emotions and feelings is alien and incomprehensible to them. At first glance, such people can give a deceptive impression of strong and self-confident natures. But in fact, such behavior is also a sign of psychological immaturity. Inside such a person “lives” a small child who is afraid to be left alone, afraid to show his sensitivity, fearing that others will regard this as his weakness and will mock him, afraid of remaining unnoticed and abandoned. The internal attitude of people of this type sounds something like this: “If I don’t express myself and show myself, then others won’t notice that I exist and won’t love me...” The eternal question - What to do? There should be everything in moderation - both childishness and adulthood. What to do if you find “gaps” in the integrity of your inner child part? First you need to establish a connection with your Inner Child and this can be done in different ways. The simplest ones are to do more often what children love to do, and what adults do less and less. Any type is suitable for this