How to help a student who is a victim of emotional abuse. School time is one of the amazing and most interesting stages in the development and formation of personality. This is a long-term project in which we develop and realize our abilities and personal qualities, mental and physical skills. And as in many processes in our lives, the school period includes both positive factors: victories, achievements, mastering skills, knowledge, abilities, establishing contacts and personal development, as well as difficult moments. One of these moments is emotional abuse. Let's get it straight: Emotional abuse is a form of abuse (doing things to me that I don't want) that can lead to psychological trauma, anxiety, and post-traumatic stress disorder. Most often, schoolchildren are subjected to emotional violence when they are shouted at about unfulfilled or poorly completed homework, behavior, appearance,... And the consequences of such violence are manifested in increased anxiety of the child if he did not have time or, in his opinion, did not I did my homework well enough. The child roars and refuses to go to school, citing the fact that he will be scolded (the most common reason in the statistics of requests is refusal to go to school, “the teacher will scream”). The child does not respond to your admonitions, does not hear you, and as a result, as a final argument, produces a high temperature, or vomiting, or abdominal pain, diarrhea... Yes, it is quite possible that your child was not directly a victim of emotional abuse (screaming and unflattering statements addressed to you by an adult), or could become an unwitting witness. It's difficult to say which is optimal. To be the one who received a scolding (there is a point of entry (beginning) and exit (completion) in the process of violence. Or someone who was nearby and heard them shouting at a classmate, and therefore remained in the process of incompleteness (no beginning and end), which means frozen in psychological anticipation. None of the participants in the school process is immune from emotional violence. Much in the way of responding to this form of violence depends on the strength of the child’s nervous system, his personal characteristics and level of stress resistance. But, if you notice that your previously prosperous child. became whiny and tearful, anxious, he had frequent ARVI, headaches, abdominal pain, problems with eating and going to the toilet, he began to have trouble falling asleep and slept anxiously, his mood deteriorates when talking about school or the need to attend classes, by all means and not If he is trying to skip school, then most likely he has been emotionally abused. What can you, as parents and loved ones, do to support your child? There are five simple steps:1. Let's find out the real facts. Calmly, kindly and in a comfortable environment for the child, we consistently clarify in conversation with him: where, who, what, when and how other children participated in this (it is no secret that in elementary school children do not like those at whom the teacher regularly raises his voice and shames). If your child is afraid of the students’ reaction, ask him: How do you think they really treat you? 2. Support the child in his experiences and suffering, no matter what age he is (yes, this happens, and this does not mean that you/he is bad). With support, you create and strengthen the base for the child and form for him the internal attitude “mom and dad are my support.” 3. Pay attention to his feelings. Take an interest and listen to what he is going through, what he is afraid of, or, alternatively, what his fear is like. Join him. Don’t you, experienced and grown-ups, know that it’s normal to feel fear and helplessness? Normal at any age. And many feel this way and have every right to these feelings. 4. Together with your child, develop methods of coping with his feelings and condition. Ask him a question and dream together on the topic: What can you do? How are you.