Separation: psychological growing up. When you are able to recognize feelings as your own. How can this be, since we experience feelings in the form of reactions to the words and actions of other people? That's right: becoming an adult means learning to separate the situation - words and actions - from your reaction to what is happening. Where do we get this or that form of reaction to certain situations (stimuli)? From childhood, when the child’s psyche transformed in its own way the words and actions of parents or other parental (significant) adult figures. For example: a child draws a picture, runs to his mother to show and receive praise - to make sure of her love and approval. Mom doesn’t have time, or mom wants the child to learn to draw even better, and in the first case she says something like this: “Yes, yes, later, I don’t have time. And in general, do something useful.” In the second case, mom or dad say: “Is this a drawing? This is some kind of scribble..”. Better go do something." The child’s psyche transforms the answers simply and linearly: “I’m not needed (neglect), I’m in the way, they don’t love me.” Parents always love, but love sometimes manifests itself in non-obvious ways. None of the parents specifically strives to create in a child a feeling of rejection, neglect, uselessness and unlove. Seeing love where it is not obvious and growing out of a childish, trance-like perception is separation. When separation drags on, people enter into marriages and relationships where child-parent relationships continue to exist. projections. The same projections manifest themselves with others. For starters, reality in its merciless form: leave the projection, everyone involved in the relationship. Projection (Latin projectio - “throwing forward”) is a psychological defense mechanism, as a result of which the inner is mistaken. is perceived as coming from the outside and attributed to others. How to separate your perception of the situation from the situation itself, the actions and words of other people? In short, for this you need to see people from the outside, and not in merging with yourself. There is a paradox in love: two beings become one and remain two. E. FrommWhat happens and how does a person behave who is stuck psychologically in the state of a child and cannot separate his feelings and reactions to events from the events and behavior of other people: He is offended and takes everything personally Believes that others have no time for them, and there is always something or someone more important and valuable Reacts painfully to refusals and cannot refuse others, even to the detriment of himself Gets stressed if a message is not answered within the first 6 seconds after sending Arrogance and impudence are perceived as confidence and adequate self-esteem and vice versa , confidence and adequate self-esteem perceives as self-confidence and arrogance Afraid of accusations and tries not to take responsibility for one’s life Depends on a partner in a relationship, is sensitive to separations, perceives divorce as the “end of life” In a marriage or relationship, psychologically lives in the role of a child with a parent Practically not uses the following words: “mine, I think, in my opinion, does not suit me..” Have you ever met such touchy and “difficult” people? Maybe you recognize yourself in my description? This way you can live until retirement and beyond, since this form of existence certainly has secondary benefits. On the other hand, you may want to get out of it, but sometimes it seems that there is no way out. However, this is not at all true. If you recognize yourself in any of the contexts of the article, I suggest you get out of the feeling of a vicious circle, from the feeling of neglect in your direction, from the feeling that others have no time for you, and there is something or someone more important than you. Come to therapy, I will help you live in such a way that your value is realized within you without “breaking” behavior and so that you do not need to deserve anything. Consultation and contacts here My clients receive such improvements both in sessions and through energy practices and really love listening to my audio sessions .Art club: MAC+drawing herePsi-Quest here