There is a tough, but true, in my opinion, thought: If you threw your love at the feet of another person, do not be surprised when they begin to wipe their feet on this love .There is a firmly entrenched idea in our mentality, which has only become stronger over the last century: “Men die, disappear, they are emotionally weaker, there are few of them, so they are worth their weight in gold!” This leads, among other things, to the fact that many women try in every possible and impossible way, firstly, to please a man, pleasing him and adapting to him (because demand is less than supply), and, secondly, to hold on tightly to anyone who pays at least some attention to her and wraps her in at least the slightest bit of care (for it’s better to have some than none). What conclusion can men draw from such treatment? No matter what I do, they will run around me and do as I want. No matter what I do, they will forgive me, caress me and take me back. No matter what they do for me, I deserve it simply because I am a man, people like me are worth their weight in gold (it’s a pity, only the king has no clothes)*. Thus, from the attitude that a man is a king and God, a woman, making herself his submissive and in everything and a pleasing servant companion, reinforces his faith in his own Ego. * Now I am not talking about all the men and women of our vast Motherland. How many people there are, so many different characters, types of behavior, and life attitudes. This is just one of the trends that is taking place. By the way, although the article describes that the basis of the attitude is “A man is king and God, and a woman must stick to him!”, the roles can change if in a man’s family history women are elevated to cult. How does this happen in practice? A man and a woman start dating. Both are good, in general, representatives of humanity (as always happens in this life). At a certain period there comes a time when you need to defend your boundaries. If they have the attitude described above, then it will be easier for him to express and demand the fulfillment of his desires (“I want to go to football,” “Let’s watch this movie”), and she will adapt to him in every possible way (“Okay, I’ll be home then.” I’ll sit; what do you want for dinner?”, “Of course, dear, I don’t care what to watch”). And if a man is not satisfied with what a girl is doing, he will directly say about it (“You can’t go to the club with your friends, you’d better sit at home!”, “Why are you dressed up like that?”), and the woman will justify him in every possible way to herself, not expressing dissatisfaction out loud (“He gets very tired, so a bottle of beer in the evening is needed to relax”, “Well, yes, he didn’t give flowers, but they are so expensive these days!”). That is, she systematically steps on the throat of her own song (it’s all about constancy of the strategy, because in a relationship, no, no, you have to give in to the other), and he is also systematically convinced that this is how it should be, and why thank and be grateful for what goes without saying?! Thus, if you would like to change the current situation, you need to learn to recognize and express your own desires and needs, say “no”, defending your own boundaries, encourage you to value your own efforts and contribution to the relationship, seek compromises (this is not when you agree with your partner, but when you together find solutions that suit both of you internally). I can tell you for sure that the result will appear only as a result of complex, painful and long-term changes in your own behavior. But what I definitely cannot guarantee you is a positive reaction from your partner to these changes! After all, there is another deeper question: maybe it wasn’t you who spoiled him, but he initially chose you because he felt in you a woman who will his Ego pamper him and strengthen him? Did you choose it precisely because you need someone to serve and pamper? The price for this is a lack of gratitude and recognition, but you both play according to what you both know:-)