It is believed that there are two types of criticism - constructive and destructive. In the first case, a person evaluates your work and gives feedback on it. For example, your mother tells you: look, you didn’t wash the cup well. This would seem to be constructive criticism that does not affect your personal characteristics. If my mother had said: you’re stupid, your mug is dirty, then this would be an example of destructive criticism. But regardless of whether we or our work are criticized, the brain is designed in such a way that it perceives any criticism as an attack on the individual. If I do something wrong, that means I'm bad. Hearing criticism, many of us: Get offended Make aggressive attacks in response Begin to engage in self-criticism, become sad and withdraw into ourselves for a long time. All these reactions do not improve our lives in any way and significantly affect self-esteem. She squanders, relationships with others deteriorate. We won’t change others, but we can try to change our attitude towards their words. You should not pay attention to criticism when: You are given advice that you did not ask for. A person begins a dialogue with the phrase “You know, I want to do what’s best for you, I’m only saying this out of good intentions.” You hear reproaches: “Mmmm, I’m on a diet.” yes...oh it's a pity, how come you and I don't go to a sushi restaurant anymore? Often people criticize us to help satisfy their own needs for significance. Bend under yourself and manipulate. Remember this and when attacked, learn to say: Thank you, I really value your opinion Thank you, but I completely disagree with you Thank you for your concern Answer with inner calm, politely and do not pay attention to criticism without a request. Remember, this does not apply to you. In what cases is it worth paying attention to criticism: You paid money for feedback You yourself asked someone who is competent to evaluate your work Criticism from clients I would also like to draw attention to criticism from clients. It will be useful for those who run their own business or work as a freelancer. For example, you have an online clothing store. Customers complain about low delivery speed. You can accept this criticism or reject it. If more than 10% of clients are saying the same thing, it is advisable to listen. This will help your business improve and grow. If you're new to business, reach out to your mentor. If you are a professional, look objectively at your mistakes and think about what to fix. Methods for dealing with criticism. Step 1. As soon as they start criticizing you, imagine that there is a glass wall or mirror between you and the person. All the words of the critic fly off this imaginary wall and bounce back to the speaker. Step 2. Do not enter into conflict. Any conflict is like a fire, and your interlocutor’s words and phrases are like logs that help this fire burn brighter and brighter. Over to you, you answer 5, you 10, and so on ad infinitum, until you are completely exhausted. Don't start an argument. As soon as your interlocutor throws a caustic phrase at you, agree. For example, your mother criticizes you, so the years go by. and you are still not married. Instead of a heavy sigh and a remark: “Mom, I’m tired of you, the same thing every day.” Agree with your mother, say, yes, what a nightmare, how hard it must be for you, with such a good-for-nothing daughter. Step 3: Treat people's words as gifts. You can accept it or refuse it. Often people who criticize and judge us do so because they are jealous and dissatisfied with their lives. They look at your actions and actions through the prism of this dissatisfaction. For example, when a person started working remotely. Relatives and friends think he is doing nothing. Once every morning he doesn’t get up at 6 and doesn’t go to the office. They criticize him and call him a slacker. Everyone has their own picture of the world. Remember, the good or bad thoughts of other people will not change your life. It changes based on real actions. How to work with an inner critic: You can write a letter to your inner critic: Dear inner critic, thank you for your concern and =)