The meaning of the word “self-esteem” implies that you evaluate yourself. And although many psychologists have recently preferred to abandon the concept of “self-esteem”, replacing it with the word “self-worth”, I suggest that you still take a close look at self-esteem and understand how it was formed and continues to form in you. So, the concept of “self-esteem” implies that you evaluate yourself. It would seem an obvious thing, but in consultations with clients I often notice that people do not have their own assessment of themselves. There are a set of labels, ideas, opinions that a person has learned about himself from others - primarily from parents, other relatives, teachers at school, colleagues and bosses, "best friends" (in quotes - because characters who regularly tell you Only some offensive things about you, accompanied by the phrase “well, what’s wrong, they’re not offended by the truth”, in my opinion, cannot be called friends). But a person does not have his own opinion about himself. When something is repeated to you constantly, you can involuntarily begin to perceive it as a fact. And there is no desire to challenge it. This is how a false, alien idea of ​​oneself is formed, which becomes fertile ground for low self-esteem. But self-esteem could be completely different if a person learned to separate the opinions of others about himself from himself. Why is this important to do? Because the opinion of others about you can be deliberately negative and then becomes: a way of manipulation: for example, a husband can tell his wife that she is not good enough in the kitchen or in bed, hoping to “inspire” her in this way to the feats he needs, and the boss can say to a young specialist that he is “crooked” and “useless”, thus hoping to force him to work overtime and not ask for an increase in salary; a method of deterrence: for example, parents can constantly convey to the child that he is somehow different (not skilled enough, not attractive enough , smart), so that he “doesn’t interfere where he shouldn’t, sits quietly, doesn’t bother mom and dad, doesn’t stick his head out, doesn’t turn up his nose, doesn’t surpass his parents in something”; a way to rise at the expense of another: hello, “best friends” who tell you that you are a gray mouse, that you don’t have much intelligence and in general with such a face and figure you should sit at home. Over and over again hearing the unsightly “truth” about yourself, a person firmly embeds her into his system of ideas about himself - and gets used to thinking that he really is somehow different. Over time, he wants to “stick his head out” and express himself less and less, because this world is clearly not created for people like him. How to get out of this trap? First, think: what do I think about myself? Here is the opinion of a mother/friend/teacher, but where is mine? And most importantly, aren’t my opinions of myself dominated by exclusively negative notes? You cannot build adequate self-esteem on negativity. So, if you have a task to improve it, as they say now, start with this - by forming a positive image of yourself. Working with self-esteem will go faster and more successfully in tandem with a psychologist. I invite you to consultations! Sign up in Viber, WhatsApp, Telegram by phone 8-977-122-61-71.